• logo Screen Scripts
  •  /  Friends  /  S10E05 The One Where Rachel's Sister Baby sits


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Central Perk

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Her first cookie? She has cookies all the time!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
    • joey
    • Joey
      No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey Rach, the adoption agency needs letters of recommendation and we were wondering if you would write one for us.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Of course, I'd be honored!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Thanks!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Thank you!
    • (Joey looks at them, disappointed about their decision)
    • joey
    • Joey
      U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Joey, we would've asked you, we just thought you wouldn't be interested.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".
    • joey
    • Joey
      Whoo-weh hey weh-hey whoo hey!!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Clearly we were wrong.
    • joey
    • Joey
      I gotta a lot of nice stuff to say about you guys, ok? And I know how much you wanna have a baby, you know, and I would love to help you get one.
    • monica
    • Monica
      You know what? Then, Joey, we want you to do it.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..."
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So excited about your letter!
    • (Phoebe enters)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey!
    • Everyone
      Hey Phoebe!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Wow! Don't you look nice?!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      YEAH!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So you must be going to somewhere fancy to celebrate?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Uh-uh. Ehm, a Knicks game.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Uhm... Aren't you a little overdressed?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
    • monica
    • Monica
      You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That's where people make number two!!
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.

    • Charlie
      Hey! (They kiss and cuddle a little)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey...
    • Charlie
      So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to...
    • ross
    • Ross
      (surprised) Oh... (he pauses) (sounds disappointed) Ohh... I'd love to but I really have to grade these papers.
    • Charlie
      Fine, it's fine... (she whispers) I'll just shower by myself...
    • ross
    • Ross
      (Writing on the papers) B, B, B, B, B!
    • Charlie
      Oh, Ross, you gave a B to a Pottery Barn catalogue.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, it had some good ideas, take off your shirt.
    • (they start kissing but someone knocks at the door)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Damnit!
    • Amy
      (yelling from outside) Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! (she knocks on the door again) I have to talk to you!!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (he opens the door) Hi Amy!
    • Amy
      You're not Rachel.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Still sharp as a tack!
    • Amy
      Um... Charlie, this is Rachel's sister Amy. Amy, this is Charlie.
    • Charlie
      Hi!
    • Amy
      Hi!
    • Charlie
      Nice to meet you.
    • Amy
      H-Hi!!(to Ross) And you are...?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!
    • Amy
      (looks confused) N-no... uhm... did I buy a falafel from you yesterday?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (gives up) Yes, yes, you did.
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      Joey and Rachel's apartment

    • (Ross enters the apartment with Amy)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! (they hug) Wow! You remember Joey?
    • Amy
      Yeah! Hey, sure! The "Days of Our Lives" guy!
    • joey
    • Joey
      That's right, yeah.
    • Amy
      You're not good!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Always nice to meet a fan!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      So now, what are you doing here?
    • Amy
      Well, I have huge news.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (Emma starts crying in the other room) Oh sorry, hold on. Let me just check on the baby!
    • Amy
      Wait, this is important! Can Ella wait? (Rachel goes to Emma)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ehm... Her name is Emma.
    • Amy
      Why did you change it, Ella was so much prettier!
    • ross
    • Ross
      What do I know? I just sell Middle Eastern food from a cart!
    • Amy
      Hey, your English is getting better!!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (to Joey) Oh my God!
    • joey
    • Joey
      I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What... what you working on?
    • joey
    • Joey
      (using a laptop) Oh, Monica and Chandler's recommendation. I want it to sound smart but.. I don't know any big words or anything, so...
    • ross
    • Ross
      Why don't you use your Thesaurus?
    • joey
    • Joey
      What did I just say?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change.
    • Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh my God, that's great! I'm smart!! No, no, I'm... (he uses the Thesaurus) "brainy, bright, clever", I love this thing! Look out ladies, Joey Tribbiani's got the whole package!!
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      Rachel's room. Rachel is attending to Emma. Amy is standing behind her.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      God!
    • Amy
      So beautiful.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, I know, isn't she?
    • Amy
      No, I was talking about your bedding.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      All right. What's your news, Amy?
    • Amy
      Oh! Um... Well... I'm getting married.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What? Oh my God! To who?
    • Amy
      This guy! He has a killer apartment.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      A-And??
    • Amy
      A-And it's on Fifth. And the elevator opens up right into the living room.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No, what's he like?
    • Amy
      Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah.
    • Amy
      It's his dad.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Huh... wow, so he's gotta be...
    • Amy
      Old? Yeah! But he travels a lot, so he's hardly ever there.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like...
    • Amy
      Myron. Hmm... I told you he was old!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh... sit down, sit down. Oh, honey, you know, I once also almost married somebody that I didn't love. Do you remember Barry?
    • Amy
      Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Sometimes just nodding is ok. (pause) Uhm, so but anyway, listen, not marrying Barry was the best decision that I ever, ever made. Honey, you deserve true love. Your soulmate is out there, somewhere. Someone that is your age, that is smart, that is fun and that you care about!
    • Amy
      (thinks about it) You're right, you're right! I'm gonna do it!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ok.
    • Amy
      I'm gonna marry Myron and keep looking for Mr Right.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ok, let's keep talking.
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      Madison Square Garden. Mike and Phoebe are walking to their seats.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Excuse me, anniversary. Excuse me, anniversary. (looking at her ticket). Uhm, sir, could you move your nachos... they're in my seat. It's my anniversary. (to Mike) Here we are! (Mike nods). Can't believe it's been a whole year!
    • Mike
      I know. This has been the best year... (the crowd starts cheering so he starts yelling) THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      ME TOO! I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE THIS MUCH!
    • Mike
      I FEEL THE SAME WAY!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      YOU'RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT'S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
    • Announcer
      Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there's written 'Julie, will you marry me?' and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh how lame... oh, it's so tacky, and impersonal.
    • Mike
      Really?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, it's the worst way to propose!
    • Mike
      (looks strangely shocked) Excuse me... (he leaves, then Phoebe realizes what she did).
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      Monica's apartment. Joey enters the room

    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, finished my recommendation. (he hands it over to Chandler) Here. And I think you'll be very, very happy. It's the longest I ever spent on a computer without looking at porn.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (reading) I don't... uh... understand.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
    • monica
    • Monica
      (also reading it) It doesn't make any sense.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Of course it does! It's smart! I used the the-saurus!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      On every word?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yep!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Alright, what was this sentence originally? (shows the sentence to Joey)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, 'They are warm, nice, people with big hearts'.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      And that became 'they are humid prepossessing Homo Sapiens with full sized aortic pumps...?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, yeah and hey, I really mean it, dude.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey Joey, I don't think we can use this.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Why not?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, because you signed it baby kangaroo Tribbiani (Joey makes a 'and-what's-wrong-with-that' look). Hey, why don't you stop worrying about sounding smart and just be yourself!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      You know what? You don't need a thesaurus, just write from here, (points at his own heart) your full sized aortic pump.
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      The corridor. Amy knocks Joey's door and Rachel opens the door.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Amy, hi!
    • Amy
      I took your advice, I left Myron.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, good for you!
    • Amy
      I know! I'm Erin Brockovich!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yes you are! Oh, I am so proud of you!
    • Amy
      Thank you! So, can I stay with you?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      But Erin Brockovich had her own house.
    • (Joey comes out of Monica's apartment and sees Rachel and Amy but does not notice the huge amount of bags)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Ah, look who's back! (he sees the bags) Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS?
    • Amy
      Well, I'm staying with you guys!
    • joey
    • Joey
      What?
    • Amy
      We're gonna be roomies! (she snaps her finger and points at Joey, snaps her fingers again and points to the bags) Come on!
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      Joey's apartment. Rachel is in the living room and Joey comes out of his room.

    • joey
    • Joey
      You slept out here?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah... Amy kept kicking me in her sleep yelling 'Myron, get off!'
    • joey
    • Joey
      But uhm, we're getting rid of her, right? Rach, please tell me we're getting rid of her.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Joey, I can't do that!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, come on! Last night I was finishing off a pizza and she said (aping Amy badly) "Uoh oh oh, a moment on the lips, forever on the hips!" I don't need that kind of talk in my house!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well Joey, uhm look, I know that she's difficult, but I think it's really good that she's here.
    • joey
    • Joey
      'Cause we will appreciate it more when she's gone?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, Monica made us!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, uhm... whatever, I have really appreciated it, 'cause I don't think I would be the person that I am today if it wasn't for you guys. See, I wanna help Amy the way you guys helped me. And I know it's gonna take patience, but that's ok.
    • Amy
      Good morning.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeaah.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Amy, that's what I was supposed to wear today, that's why I hung it on the door.
    • Amy
      Oh, sweety, you can't pull this off.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Amy, you know what? I was thinking that maybe now it'd be a good time for us to sit down and, you know, talk about your future.
    • Amy
      Oh, I can't, honey. I'm gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
    • joey
    • Joey
      (yelling at her) I'M CURVY, AND I LIKE IT!
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      Monica's Apartment. Rachel, Ross, Monica and Chandler are there, Phoebe enters the room

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hi. I just had the worst anniversary ever.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I doubt that! Tell her about us last year.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Seriously?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Word!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, mine was worse than that.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, what happened?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      We were at the game, and this guy proposed to his girlfriend on the big screen thing...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, that is so tacky.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, that's what I said, but it turns out, Mike was planning on proposing to me that same way last night!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Phoebe, that's huge!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, do you wanna marry him?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don't think he's ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      She's right! If I were a guy and... (stops himself mid-sentence...everyone stares at him) Did I just say if I were a guy..?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Maybe you don't need him to propose to you, maybe you can propose to him!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, I don't know, I don't know, isn't that a little desperate?
    • monica
    • Monica
      I proposed to Chandler! (Phoebe stops herself from laughing) Alright, moving on...
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, I don't think it was desperate, I think it was amazing!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Thank you.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I think it could be kind of great!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Absolutely! You'll love the feeling! There's nothing like it!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Ok, ok, so how should I do it?
    • monica
    • Monica
      How about at a game, on the big screen?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (Sarcastically) Uuuh!! How about at a Footlocker? (claps her hands together, faking excitement)
    • monica
    • Monica
      What? what? He obviously thinks that's a nice way to be proposed to, plus he'd never suspect it!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, that does make sense. Ok, now, would... would you two (points to Ross and Chandler) like that?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Sounds good to me... but what would a guy think?
    • (Amy walks in carrying a phone handset)
    • Amy
      (To Rachel) Nana is on the phone (Hands the phone over to Rachel)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (Takes the phone) Oh! That's interesting, since she died seven years ago!!
    • Amy
      She did? Who got her condo in Boca?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (Into the phone) Hello? (announces to Amy) Oh, it's our nanny! (goes back to the phone conversation) Hi! Oh... God! I hope you feel better! Ok, bye! (Hangs up) (To Ross) That's Molly, she's sick. Can you watch Emma today?
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, I can't. I have back-to-back classes. Did Molly say what she had? Because my throat's been hurting?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Menstrual cramps.
    • ross
    • Ross
      I don't think that's what this is.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (To Monica, Chandler and Phoebe) Can any of you watch Emma?
    • monica
    • Monica
      No, sorry sweety..
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, I've got work and then I'm proposing..
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (To Ross) Great, shoot, what are we gonna do?
    • Amy
      Well, I can do it.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (Thinks for a moment) Well, actually...
    • ross
    • Ross
      (He interrupts her immediately, and drags her by her arm to the other side of the room) Well, can I talk to you for a sec.?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Um, I do not want her baby-sitting our child.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Why not?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, for one thing, she keeps calling her Ella!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (Defends Amy) Wha.. well, Ella's a nice name!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Fine, we'll call the next one Ella.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (Shocked) Wha... the next one?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (a little confused) Okay, um... I don't want her watching our baby.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ross, I am trying to help her become a better person. This is a huge breakthrough for her! She just offered to do something for another human being!!
    • ross
    • Ross
      I... I don't know..
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ross, I'm telling you, she's giving up getting her eyebrows (points at her own to emphasize the word) shaped to do this alright? Do you understand how important that is in our world?
    • (Amy approaches from behind)
    • Amy
      um... listen, I couldn't help but overhear... 'cause I was trying to... Listen, let me do this alright? I really wanna help you guys out, and plus Rachel's been so wonderful to me... (looks at hem pleadingly)
    • (Rachel looks at Ross and her agrees silently)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Absolutely.
    • Amy
      (very excited) Oh! Great! So how much does it pay? (Ross just gives up and leaves)
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      Central Perk. Joey is inside, Chandler and Monica walk in.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey Joe! How's the second draft of the letter coming?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Great, I'm finished! In fact, I just dropped it off at the agency.
    • (Chandler and Monica look shocked)
    • monica
    • Monica
      You dropped it off?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Can we read it? Can you print out another copy?
    • joey
    • Joey
      No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)
    • monica
    • Monica
      You hand-wrote it?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, and don't worry. I didn't try to sound smart at all! See ya later! (Leaves)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh my God, oh my God, that letter is gonna go in our file! We're never gonna get a kid. No, we're gonna be one of those old couples that collects orchids or has a lot of birds!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      It's ok, it's ok. You know what? (Takes out his mobile) I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. (starts dialing)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay good.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (on the phone) Hello, this is Chandler Bing. Somebody just dropped off a handwritten recommendation letter, and.. (listens) Uh-huh... Uh-huh... okay... thank you. Good-bye. (hangs up looking very confused).
    • monica
    • Monica
      Ugh, we're screwed, aren't we? You know what? Just tell me on the way to the bird store.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (Still looks confused) They loved it.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      They thought it was very smart of us to have a child write the recommendation letter.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (surprised) They thought Joey was a child?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      She guessed 8, 9, based on his drawings.
    • (Amy comes in with Emma in a stroller)
    • Amy
      Hi!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey, what did you guys do today?
    • Amy
      Ella wanted to go out, so we went shopping and got some sushi.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That sounds like fun.
    • Amy
      Yeah, not really. Babies are dull.
    • (Rachel comes in, sees Amy and Emma)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (To Emma) Hey! Hi, how's my girl?
    • Amy
      I'm fine! And, I got you a present for letting me stay with you. Ready?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (sounds excited) Yeah!
    • (Amy takes off Emma's hat)
    • Amy
      Ta-daaa!
    • (Rachel looks at Emma)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (not excited anymore) You pierced her ears!?
    • Amy
      (Very excited about it) Doesn't it make her nose look smaller?
    • (Rachel looks very shocked)
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You pierced her ears? How could you do this without telling me?
    • Amy
      Well, if I had told you, then it wouldn't have been surprise, now would it?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I think she looks cute. (Rachel turns around and stares at him angrily) ... but I am wrong!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
    • Amy
      Why, did something happen to his falafel cart?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ugh. (takes the hat and covers Emma's head and half her face with it)
    • (Ross enters)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey guys.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hi Ross.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey Emma. Oh, why is she wearing her hat so low? She can barely see. (Wants to take the hat off, but Rachel tries to stop him).
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Nah, I don't really want her to see.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Why not?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Because there are so many terrible sights in this world.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Like war. Or that thing in Joey's refrigerator. Remember? It was in a milk carton but it looked like meat?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Come here (Removes Emma's hat) Oh! There she is! Hi!
    • (Rachel looks worried)
    • ross
    • Ross
      (sees how strangely Monica, Chandler and Rachel are looking at him) What?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Nothing.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (Back to Emma) Hi! (Looks at her) What... (Moves the stroller away from him so he can get a better look at her. He looks at her confused. Finally he realizes the difference and gasps). Please tell me those are clip-ons.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, they're real!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Did she (points at Amy) do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I know, I know, and you were right Ross. (To Amy) You are soo irresponsible I am never letting you baby-sit ever again!
    • Amy
      Hey you know what, this kid needs me, okay? She needs to have a cool fun aunt!
    • monica
    • Monica
      I'm a cool, fun aunt!
    • Amy
      (Sarcastically) O-Okay!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey! Monica can be cool and fun at organized indoor projects!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?
    • Amy
      Well, I don't need you to help me, because I already know what I'm going to do with my life.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh yeah? Since when?
    • Amy
      Since today... I am going to be a baby stylist.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (looks at Ross and then at Amy again in disbelief) What?
    • ross
    • Ross
      That's not a thing!
    • Amy
      Well, it should be. I'm gonna help babies learn how to accessorize, what colors to wear, what clothes are slimming...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (shouting) Babies don't care if they're slim.
    • Amy
      Enter Amy!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (very angry) Amy, I ju... I just... I just wanna...
    • Amy
      What? What are you gonna do?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (pointing at Amy, shouting) No more falafel for you!
    • (Amy looks at Ross, angrily. Rachel clearly doesn't understand what he meant and looks at Ross who gestures "later".)
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Madison Square Garden. Phoebe and Mike are watching the game. There's cheering, but Phoebe seems distracted.

    • Mike
      Great game, huh?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Uhuh, uhuh... (seems distracted)
    • Mike
      Why do you keep looking at the screen?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I'm not. I'm praying. (looking up) Please let the Knicks win... Thank you Thor! (Mike is standing up) Where... where are you going?
    • Mike
      Going go to the bathroom.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, I think you should wait.
    • Mike
      Why?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, if you don't... if you don't hold it in, you don't get all the nutrients.
    • Announcer
      Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.
    • (We see the screen where it says
      "Mike will you marry me?" and then we see Phoebe and Mike on the screen. Phoebe stands up and kneels in front of Mike.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Mike Hannigan... will you marry me? (Mike looks bewildered)
    • Announcer
      Get a load of this... She's proposing to him. Guess we know who wears the pants in that family. (people are laughing, while Mike still seems bewildered)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      That's not very enlightened!
    • (There's booing around them, and Mike sinks in his chair, holding his hand in above his eyes, hoping no-one would recognize him)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey, hey! (shouting) Boo us? Boo you!
    • new scene
    • Scene 12

      Rachel and Joey's. Joey is in the kitchen and the telephone rings.

    • joey
    • Joey
      (picks up the phone) Hello? Yeah, this is Joey Tribbiani... Oh, hi! Well, I'm glad you liked my letter... No my mommy and daddy aren't home right now... (looks puzzled) Okay, bye bye. (hangs up) (to himself) She was nice!
    • (Rachel and Amy enter)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Joey, get Amy's bags, she is moving out!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Whoo-hoo! (and leaves for Rachel's room)
    • Amy
      You're kicking me out?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You put holes in my baby's ears!
    • Amy
      Yeah well, at least now people will know she is a girl!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (gasps) I can't believe I ever even tried to help you. You are so beyond help.
    • Amy
      You know what? Ever since I got here, you have been nothing but negative.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Excuse me?
    • Amy
      You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws (frantically pointing at her nose) And suddenly I am the bad guy?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (yelling) Joey, where are those bags?
    • joey
    • Joey
      (Yelling from Rachel's room) She has a lot of crap!
    • Amy
      You know what? When I moved in here I thought
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (doesn't believe what she's hearing) Seriously?
    • Amy
      hm-mmm... Mom said she gained like fifteen pounds.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hips or thighs?
    • Amy
      Ass and face.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (gasps) Oh! Oh my God! I thought she was on Atkins.
    • Amy
      She was. Carbs found her... See, this is what I wanted. Two sisters, talking about real stuff.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (embarrassed) Oh, I can give you that.
    • Amy
      You can?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're... you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are.
    • Amy
      (touched) Thank you. I've got to admit, Emma does look cute.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Did you just say Emma?
    • Amy
      Ugh, I'm sorry... Ella.
    • new scene
    • Scene 13

      Mike and Phoebe at a restaurant.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      That woman at the game didn't know what she was talking about. Mike, obviously you have balls.
    • Mike
      But please, let's just forget the whole thing.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
    • (Mike's face changes from happy to sad, and he looks at the cake, disappointed.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      It's in the cake, isn't it?
    • Mike
      (puts on a fake smile) Where else would lame Mr. No Balls hide it? (he takes the ring from the cake, and cleans it with a napkin)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
    • Mike
      No! It's my fault. I keep trying to propose in these stupid ways and all I wanna do is tell you that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
    • (Phoebe has this weird, anxious, nervous look on her face)
    • Mike
      I'm gonna do this now.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh my God!
    • (Mike starts to kneel in front of Phoebe.)
    • Mike
      Phoebe, I...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Wait! Oh wait! (she takes off a ring that was already on her left ring finger. After that Mike starts to kneel again, but then...) Oh no! (She was wearing rings on all her fingers and her thumb, and takes all of these off.)
    • Mike
      Ready?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Uh-huh! (and now Mike kneels properly)
    • Mike
      Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yes!
    • (Mike puts the ring on her finger)
    • Mike
      I love you!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I love you more!
    • Mike
      Not possible! (they kiss, and then Mike says proudly...) She's gonna be Mrs. No Balls.
    • (They kiss again, and Phoebe looks at the ring.)
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 14

      The street in front of Central Perk. Rachel and Amy are walking on the sidewalk.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      So how is the uhm... baby styling business going?
    • Amy
      Not that great. It's almost if people don't want to hear that their babies are ugly.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      That's shocking!
    • Amy
      Oh! It's Ross... Hey Ross! (She says hey to the guy at the falafel stand, whose only similarity with Ross would be his black hair.) Hello-oo Ross! (to Rachel) He's rude!
    • END