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  •  /  Friends  /  S06E12 The One With The Joke


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.

    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey, you're not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I didn't know Playboy prints jokes.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. It's not just about the pictures.
    • monica
    • Monica
      That didn't work on mom, it's not going to work on us.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (showing them the page) Here, check it out. It's the first one, too.
    • (They all laugh indifferently, except Chandler, who's a little angry.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I made that joke up.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Uh, oh-oh, no you didn't. I did.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yes, I did. I told it to Dan at work, and he said it was the funniest joke he'd ever heard.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey, tell Dan, 'Thanks.'
    • (Rachel is looking at the magazine and laughing.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      What?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I'm sorry, I was just reading the joke below it. Man, that one is funny. (Ross grabs the magazine away from her.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
    • monica
    • Monica
      No.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Seriously?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, you tell a lot of jokes!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Look, Chandler, it's my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they don't print the name, so it doesn't really matter who gets credit, right?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, I guess.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (entering) Hey guys.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (jumping up from his chair) Hey, Joey, Playboy printed my joke.
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, it's my joke, it's mine. You can call them, they'll tell you.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      It's my joke.
    • ross
    • Ross
      It's my joke.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Joey's apartment, Joey is sitting at the counter as Chandler enters.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Let's go watch it at your place.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Nah, Monica's watching some cooking show. Come on, I don't want to miss when they were skinny.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Chandler, Chandler, y'know what we should do? You and I should go out and get some new sunglasses.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      What? No, I want to watch this. (He turns on the television and the screen is completely covered in snow). Did your cable go out?
    • joey
    • Joey
      No, that's VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . It's like a lotta noise to me. I don't know...
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Joey, why is your cable out?
    • joey
    • Joey
      I uh, oh! Because, uh, I haven't really paid the bill
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      If you need money, will you please-please just let me loan you some money?
    • joey
    • Joey
      No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Whoa ho.
    • joey
    • Joey
      I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book (holds up the Playboy magazine).
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Sure.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (with phone to ear, obviously hearing no dial tone) Paid your phone bill?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Not so much.
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (entering) Hey.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (relieved) It's only you.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Wh-wh-what are you doing?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      We are looking at a Playboy.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, I want to look too! (She runs over and sits down and checks out a picture). Yikes!
    • monica
    • Monica
      So do you think that these pictures-Are, are they trying to tell a story?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, she's crying out, 'Where are they, where are they?'
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, she's not going to find them lying in the grass like that.
    • (They flip through the pages to another picture.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You see, now, I would date this girl. She's cute, she's outdoorsy, you know, and she knows how to build a fire. I mean, that's got to come in handy
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, I've got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (thinks) I don't know.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Me neither.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Rachel.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I don't know. (Pause) Me neither.
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, and Ross are sitting on the couch.

    • joey
    • Joey
      You forget how many great songs Heart had.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah.
    • ross
    • Ross
      You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So, you heard it, you repeated it, so that must mean you wrote it.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but I'm not even sure I got it.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What, you didn't get it? The doctor is a monkey.
    • (He and Chandler crack up.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      And monkeys can't write out prescriptions.
    • (He and Ross crack up again. Joey just sits there)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (stops laughing, to Ross) You are not allowed to laugh at my joke.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Your joke? Well, I think 'the Hef' would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, I was going to stick it in the ATM, but now I think I'll show the sexy teller that I am a published writer.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh, what are you going to do, follow me down there?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, I'm not going to go now anyway (he goes to sit down).
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay (he goes to sit down).
    • (Ross leaps out of his chair and runs out the door, with Chandler in hot pursuit.)
    • Gunther
      (handing Joey the bill) Here you go.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Ah, Gunther, I can't pay for this right now because I'm not working, so I've had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin' for stuff.
    • Gunther
      Well, if you want, you can work here.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Uh, I don't know. Ya see, it's just, see I was a regular on a soap opera y'know? And to go from that to this, I just... Plus, I'd have to wait on all my friends.
    • Gunther
      Okay, but the money's good, plus you get to stare at Rachel as much as you want.
    • joey
    • Joey
      What?!
    • Gunther
      Flexible hours.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      Monica and Chandler's bedroom, they are in bed together.

    • monica
    • Monica
      (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (visibly upset) He took my joke, he took it.
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? I'm going to get a joke journal. Y'know? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
    • monica
    • Monica
      That's a good idea.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Do you know what's a bad idea?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Picking Rachel.
    • monica
    • Monica
      That's right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Maybe it's the sound of Ross climbing into my brain and stealing my thoughts.
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's coming from the living room.
    • (They go out to investigate, and find Joey wrapped in a blanket watching their television.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      Phoebe and Rachel's, they're sitting together on the couch.

    • monica
    • Monica
      (entering) Hey, you guys.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hey.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (laughing) Oh, don't you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Monica, what are you doing?
    • monica
    • Monica
      (laughing harder) Nothing, I'm just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I guess it was kinda funny.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (angrily) It wasn't funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didn't you pick me?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that you're ... just ... kinda high maintenance-Okay let's go to lunch!
    • monica
    • Monica
      That is completely untrue. You think I'm high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and we're going to go through it point by point!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, okay, you're right. You're easy-going. You're just not as easy-going as Rachel. She's just more flexible and-and mellow. That's all.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (To Monica) Well, people are different.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Ya, you know, Rachel ... she'll do whatever you want. Y'know, you can just walk all over her.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that I'm a pushover? I'm not a pushover.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, okay, (laughing) you're not a pushover.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh my ... you think I'm a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? You're not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think that's pretty strong, that's what I think. Come on, Monica, let's go to lunch. (She leaves)
    • monica
    • Monica
      (to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)
    • [Cut to the hallway.]
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I cannot believe her.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I know. Where do you wanna go eat?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, oh, I love that Japanese place.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I'm sick of Japanese. We're not going there.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      All right, wherever you wanna go is cool.
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right.
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are there as Ross enters and sees Gunther.

    • ross
    • Ross
      (showing the Playboy magazine to Gunther) Oh, hey, Gunther, check this out.
    • (Gunther looks at the joke and laughs.)
    • Gunther
      Yeah, that-that Chandler cracks me up.
    • (Ross begins to say something, realizes what Gunther just said, turns, and glares at Chandler. Chandler just shrugs it off.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, 'cause I'm heading up there.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Uh, yeah, I'll take a coffee. Thanks, man.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? 'Cause I'm going up there.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No.
    • monica
    • Monica
      No, thank you.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, 'cause I'm heading up there.
    • Woman
      I'd love an ice water.
    • joey
    • Joey
      You got it.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Joey, what are you doing?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a 'what's wrong with you?' look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Joey, honey, I don't think you're supposed to go back there.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Nah, it's okay. Right, Gunther? (Winks at him as if they're in on a secret together.)
    • Gunther
      Don't wink at me. And put on your apron.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay, but I don't see you asking any other paying customers to put on aprons.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Joey, do you work here?
    • joey
    • Joey
      No.
    • Customer
      Hey, waiter.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah?
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      Central Perk, continued from earlier.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Joey, what's going on. What didn't you tell us you work here?
    • joey
    • Joey
      It's kind of embarrassing, y'know. I mean, I was an actor and now I'm a waiter. It's supposed to go in the other direction.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So is your apron. You're wearing it like a cape.
    • joey
    • Joey
      I mean, the job's easy and the money's good, you know? I guess I'm going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, why would it be weird? Hey, Joey, can I get some coffee?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay, I guess it doesn't seem that weird.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Seriously, I-I asked you before and you still haven't gotten it.
    • joey
    • Joey
      See, now it's weird again.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I think it's great that you work here. You're going to make a lot of money, and here's your first tip: Don't eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Thanks, Rach. Look, you guys are just terrific. Y'know? Now, how about clearing out of here so I can get some new customers. It's all about turnover.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, I'm sorry, Ross. I'll get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, I'll toss in a free muffin.
    • (He looks at Rachel and winks, she gives him the thumbs-up sign.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay.
    • monica
    • Monica
      So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hah!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      That true, I am flaky.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      So, what, you're just, you're just okay with being flaky?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, totally.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, then, I'm okay with being high maintenance.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      That's great. Good for you guys.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I am not high maintenance!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I am not a pushover!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Who said you were?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You did!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, I'm flaky. I'll say anything.
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      Central Perk, Joey is coming back from using the phone.

    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, Gunther. Can you uh, can you cover for me? I just got an audition.
    • Gunther
      No, I'm leaving to get my hair dyed.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Really?! I like your natural color. Come on man, it's a great part. Look, check it out. I'm the lead guy's best friend and I wait for him in this bar and save his seat. Listen-listen. 'I'm sorry, that seat's saved.'
    • Gunther
      That's the whole part?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay, maybe he's not his best friend, but ...
    • Gunther
      Okay, I'll see you in an hour.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, man, I could totally get that part. 'I'm sorry, that seat is taken.'
    • Patron
      Oh, excuse me.
    • joey
    • Joey
      No, no, I didn't mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
    • Patron
      I believed you were saving this seat for someone.
    • joey
    • Joey
      So, you'd hire me, right?
    • Patron
      For what?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
    • Customers
      Huh? What?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, it's for the kids. To keep the kids off drugs. It's a very important issue in this month's Playboy. I'm sure you all read about it.
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Ross are both pouting and sitting on the couch.

    • ross
    • Ross
      It's my joke.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      It's my joke.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      It's my joke.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Y'know, I don't think we're going to settle this.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Let's have Monica decide.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey Mon.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Mon, get out here!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Monica! (She appears, not sure why she was summoned.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, okay. You have to help us decide whose joke this is.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Why do I have to decide?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Because you're the only one that can be fair.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I can't be fair. You're my boyfriend.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, but I'm your brother. We're family. That's the most important thing in the world.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (to Ross) Don't try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) I'm your only chance to have a baby. Okay, let's go.
    • ross
    • Ross
      We'll each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truth-me.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, Chandler, you go first.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, I thought of the joke two months ago at lunch with Steve.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Can I finish my story?!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Do you want me to pick you?!
    • ross
    • Ross
      See, I would never snap at you like that.
    • (Chandler motions to Monica that he'll give her two babies.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Continue.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steve's doctor's name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, 'Doctor Monkey?' And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Are you kidding? Okay, look. I-I studied evolution. Remember, evolution? Monkey into man? Plus, I'm a doctor, and I had a monkey. I'm Doctor Monkey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I'm not arguing with that.
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right, I've heard enough. I've made my decision.
    • (Both Chandler and Ross are eager to hear her decision.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and it's offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldn't be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
    • (Monica leaves the room)
    • ross
    • Ross
      It's your joke.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Is not.
    • new scene
    • Scene 12

      Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, she's lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Hi, Chandler. There you are.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hi, oh hi.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey, it's Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why don't you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
    • (Rachel and Phoebe exchange looks.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (starts to recite a rehearsed speech) Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. (Pause.) Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and-(He falters and Monica prompts him.)-generosity of spirit.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Wow, you know what? That is the best fake speech I think I've ever heard.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Really? I've heard better.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (To Chandler) I'm out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (pauses as he struggles with what he has to say) You're a little high maintenance.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Ahhh! You are on my list.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I'm sorry. You're not easy-going, but you're passionate, and that's good. And when you get upset about the little things, I think that I'm pretty good about making you feel better about that. And that's good too. So, they can say that you're high maintenance, but it's okay, because I like ... maintaining you.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didn't even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right you're off my list.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (happily) I'm off the list. (Sits on the couch.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      (sits next to him) Phoebe, it's okay that you don't want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (to Monica) Y'know, suddenly I find you very attractive.
    • (Joey enters.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey, buddy boy, how'd the audition go?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Not good, no. I didn't get the part, and I lost my job here, so ...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Wow! That is a bad audition.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      How-how did you lose your job here?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when you've been working here two days? That's not, that's not right.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, what are ya gonna do?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Joey, you can't let him get away with that. Ya know what, I'm not going to let him get away with that. I'm going to say something to him-No, I really shouldn't say anything-No, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him...
    • Gunther
      Okay.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?
    • Gunther
      He can have his job back.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      That's right, he can have his job back. I'm glad we got that all straightened out. There you go, Joey, you got your job back.
    • joey
    • Joey
      That's great. Thanks Rach.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, pretty nice, huh? Now who's a pushover?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (returning from the bathroom) Rach, you're in my seat.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, I'm sorry. (Gets up and moves.)
    • CLOSING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 13

      Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I pick you, Phoebe.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, yeah. Definitely you, Pheebs.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, well, I kinda thought.
    • (Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
    • (Joey, Chandler and Ross enter.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
    • ross
    • Ross
      No way.
    • joey
    • Joey
      I'm not answering that.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. I'm not answering that.
    • END