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  •  /  Friends  /  S06E18 The One Where Ross Dates A Student


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are there as Ross enters.

    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Geller's class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ahh, Hotties of the Paleontology Department, there's a big selling calendar, eh?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Who wrote it?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh hey, do you still have their final exams?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, 'cause you can just match the evaluation to the exam with the same handwriting and boom, there's your admirer. (Ross is stunned.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      A hot girl's at stake and all of the sudden he's Rain Man.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, why are we so sure that this is a girl?
    • ross
    • Ross
      It's a girl! Anyway, it wou-it wouldn't matter. Okay? Because I'm a teacher and she's a student.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, is that against the rules?
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, but it is frowned upon.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I see.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Besides, there's a big age difference.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, well think of it like this, when you're 90...
    • ross
    • Ross
      I know when I'm 90 she'll be like 80 and it won't seem like such a big difference.
    • joey
    • Joey
      No that's not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when you're 90 you'll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are eating breakfast as Joey enters.

    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey Chandler! Y'know that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh yeah, Dana Keystone. She was in my Movement class.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What's a Movement class?
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's Chandler's way of pretending he didn't take mime.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh well listen, anyway she's directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, I don't know man. I haven't talked to her in like ten years.
    • joey
    • Joey
      No-no-no, please-please Chandler I-I-I would owe you so much!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      You do owe me so much. You owe me three thousand, four hundred...
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey-hey dude, why are you changing the subject? Why? Will you make the call or what?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh okay, I'll-I'll try.
    • joey
    • Joey
      All right! Thanks! You're the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah so, Tuesday?
    • joey
    • Joey
      (angrily) Thursday! Look if you need help remembering think of like this, the third day. All right? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when? Huh? What day? Thursday! The third day! Okay?!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (sarcastically) Thank you.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? I'm gonna check my messages.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      You just thought of that in there?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah sure, nature called, she wanted to see who else did.
    • (Rachel dials her number.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!
    • monica
    • Monica
      You're on the phone!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (on phone) Oh my God! Oh my God! Thank you! (Hangs up) That was the fire department, there was a fire at our place!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh my God! How bad was it?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, he didn't say, but it was a fire. I'm guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      What are you smiling about? What is so funny?
    • joey
    • Joey
      The part I want to audition for is a fireman, this is so meant to be!
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      N.Y.U. Paleontology department, Ross is putting up the grades on the message board.

    • Burt
      (another professor) Wow! It looks like you were very generous with your grades this semester! (Ross frantically starts to change some as a female student, Elizabeth, approaches.)
    • Elizabeth
      Professor Geller?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (startled) Yeah?
    • Elizabeth
      I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your class.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh thank you. Thanks very much. (Leans up against the board and on a thumbtack.) Ow! (He pulls away.)
    • Elizabeth
      Uh, I'm a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie on my evaluation...
    • ross
    • Ross
      That was you?
    • Elizabeth
      Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. You're a teacher. I'm a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh I, I don't-I don't think that would be the best idea.
    • Elizabeth
      Oh, because I was thinking, the semester's over; you're not my teacher anymore.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What time?
    • Elizabeth
      (checks her grade) Oh, y'know what? Forget it, you already gave me an A.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Gotcha. (Starts to leave.)
    • Elizabeth
      I'm kidding!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh! So-so seriously, what time?
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      Phoebe and Rachel's, everyone minus Ross are arriving to inspect the damage. The fire department is still there.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Coming through! (Has to dodge a fireman) Oh! Coming through! (Sees a cute one.) Oh! Hello! Hi! (Smiles then realizes) No! Right! Coming through!
    • (They start to look around seeing that the living room is undamaged.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh well, it's not so bad.
    • Fireman #1
      Yeah, most of the damage is pretty mostly contained in the bedrooms.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      My God! (They both run into the bedrooms.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
    • Fireman #1
      Excuse me?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Joey! He's working! (To Chandler) You would look good in that.
    • (Phoebe and Rachel return)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, how bad is it?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, it's bad. It's really bad. The only thing in there that isn't burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      How's your room Rach?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Everything's ruined. My bed. My clothes. Look at my favorite blue sweater. (Hold it up.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Isn't that mine?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Fine! I'm sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
    • Fireman #1
      So uh, you're not gonna be able to live here for a while, you ladies have a place to stay?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (pulling Rachel back down) Yes, they can stay with us.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Have you figured out what started the fire Mr. Fireman?
    • Fireman #1
      Well uh, do either of you smoke?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now.
    • Fireman #1
      No-no-no, do you uh light candles? Burn incense?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! It's me! It's me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay Phoebe calm down, there's no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is on the phone as Joey enters.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      God, it's great to catch up! I can't believe how long it's been!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Chandler, is that... (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (on phone) Oh that's great! Good for you.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey-hey listen... (Chandler waves him away.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay! So yeah, maybe we can get together umm... (Joey mimes throwing something in the air, catching it, rolling it out, putting it in an oven and cutting it.) Can you hold for one second please? (To Joey) What?!
    • joey
    • Joey
      When you're off the phone, do you wanna get a pizza?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (on phone) Hi! I'm back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, we'll do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey listen, so when's-when's my audition? I mean I know it's Thursday, but what time?
    • (Monica enters.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hi.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (To Joey) We didn't get to the audition. I'm gonna take her to coffee and then we'll do it then.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Ah-ha!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Wow! So, now you're going on a date with this girl?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Honey, it is not a date! I haven't talked to her in ten years! You can't just call up somebody you haven't talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, y'know? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
    • monica
    • Monica
      You're right, I'm sorry. It's not like you're y'know, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No, we only went out once.
    • monica
    • Monica
      You dated her!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Not once!
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right, well why don't I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, you wanna do Joey a favor, maybe you go out with Joey. (He turns around to see Chandler glaring at him.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      Central Perk, Chandler is having coffee with Dana.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (laughs) Oh that's great, my friend Joey's in the movie business.
    • Dana
      Y'know who I ran into from school? Howie.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (giggles) My friend's name is Joey.
    • Dana
      Apparently Howie's editing now. Yeah, he-he-he calls me up and asks me if he can edit my new movie. Can you believe that?! Y'know I-I-I haven't spoken to him in like ten years and he asks me for a favor!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, I've always hated that Howie.
    • Dana
      No, no "How you doing?" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      The nerve huh?
    • Dana
      Yeah!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Refill?
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      Monica and Chandler's, Monica is about to debut Hotel Monica (formerly known as Rachel's Room) to Phoebe and Rachel.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Now, this is last minute so I want to apologize for the mess. Okay?
    • (They walk into a completely redecorated and repainted room. And of course, the room is immaculate. Only an obsessive-compulsive like Monica could find fault with the room.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh my God! It sure didn't look this way when I lived here.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I know! Now look, there's only one problem though. There's only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joey's.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hey! Hey-hey, now this was no one's fault Pheebs. Okay? It was an accident.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well no, it was my fault so you should get the nice room.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay! (She jumps on the bed.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      So Rach! You're the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, you'll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, y'know, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I have.
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      Joey's apartment, Joey is showing Phoebe around.

    • joey
    • Joey
      This right here is where I keep the pizza. (He points to the chair.) And uh that's where the napkin is. (Points to the floor next to the chair.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What's that smell?
    • joey
    • Joey
      I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      A street, Ross is walking with Elizabeth on their date.

    • Elizabeth
      Oh please! It was such a big class! You never even noticed me!
    • ross
    • Ross
      What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.
    • Elizabeth
      Who?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyone's name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
    • Elizabeth
      Oh yeah. So umm, did you have a nickname for me?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Umm, no. No.
    • Elizabeth
      Yes you did! What was it?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Umm, it's Cutie McPretty.
    • Elizabeth
      Ohh that's so sweet!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-I'm having a great time! Y'know how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but it's not. I mean it's not at all.
    • Burt
      (exiting from a restaurant) Dr. Geller!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (pushing Elizabeth into a doorway) Burt!
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are cleaning up the mess.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      So did you sleep well last night?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I did.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Y'know what Joey left on my pillow?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Gum!
    • Fireman #2
      Well, we determined the cause of the fire.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle!
    • Fireman #2
      No, there was an appliance left on in the bathroom. It's looks like a curling iron.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I don't use a curling iron.
    • Fireman #2
      Well someone does.
    • (Phoebe looks at Rachel.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, don't look at me! My hair's straight! Straight! Straight! Straight!
    • Fireman #2
      It could've been a hair straightener.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh.
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Joey's apartment, Joey is now showing Rachel around.

    • joey
    • Joey
      This is where I keep the pizza. (It's the same location as before.) And-Hey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in it's spot.)
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 12

      Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe is reading and Monica runs over and turns on the lamp behind Phoebe.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Now there you go! I wouldn't want my best guest to strain her eyes!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Thanks Monica!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Does that smell bother you?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What the smell from Joey's? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well you let me know if you can, because y'know I can bake a pie to cover it.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay.
    • (The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hello? (Listens) Oh yes, one minute please. (To Phoebe) It's for you. It's the fire inspector.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh! (Takes the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Yeah this is Phoebe. (Listens) Really?!
    • [Cut to Joey's, he's on the phone.]
    • joey
    • Joey
      (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasn't the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. It's very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is... (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh... Uhh... Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 13

      Joey's apartment, Ross is telling Monica and Joey about his date with Elizabeth.

    • ross
    • Ross
      We had such a great time! She's-she's incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasn't. It wasn't at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
    • monica
    • Monica
      So it's okay to date a student.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, not really. I mean technically it's-it's not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well Ross, you be careful now. You don't want to get a reputation as y'know Professor McNailshisstudents.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah. What-what should I do?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean what's more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Joey that is so sweet.
    • (He turns his back to Monica and does the international sign for big boobies again.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (entering) Hey.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey-hey-hey! So, how did it go with Dana? Any reason I should leave a block of time open say Thursday?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I couldn't do it.
    • joey
    • Joey
      You couldn't do it?!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey, relax I just need more time. We're going to dinner tonight.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?! You're going out with her again!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Going out with who?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Uh, Dana Keystone from college.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh yeah! Wasn't she uh... (Does the international sign for big boobies.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No, that was Dana Caplin.
    • The Guys
      Ohhhh! (They all look up in a moment of reflection.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Joey! You didn't even know her!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Ah whatever!
    • new scene
    • Scene 14

      A Restaurant, Chandler is having dinner with Dana.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Great story again! The yarns that you weave! Woo-hoo-hoo!
    • Dana
      Y'know uh, actually I-I-I should get going.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh no-no-no! Stay! Stay! Because you-you should you-you-you should stay!
    • Dana
      Wow. Oh, I am really flattered, but I just I don't feel that way about you.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh no-no-no, that's not-No-no-no!
    • Dana
      I'm sorry Chandler, y'know you are such a sweet guy and I, I don't want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No-no-Really?!
    • Dana
      Of course!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh...
    • Dana
      Ohh, I'm sorry.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well maybe there is one thing you can do.
    • Dana
      What?! Anything! Anything!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
    • Dana
      Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, the heart wants what it wants. I'll see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 15

      Hotel Monica, Phoebe is on the bed playing her guitar as Monica enters.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey! How's it goin'?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, not much has changed in the last five minutes.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yes it has! I made cookies!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh that's all right. I'm still full from your homemade potato chips.
    • monica
    • Monica
      But you should eat them now because they're hot from the oven.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay. (Reaches for one.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      (pulling the plate back) Oh-ho! But not in here! Can't eat 'em in bed, remember? No crumbies!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (gritting her teeth) Okay, I'll be out in a second.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay!
    • (Monica leaves and Phoebe closes the door behind her and tries to lock it.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      (opening the door) What are you doing?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      That doesn't lock does it?
    • new scene
    • Scene 16

      Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are eating spaghetti in the living room while watching TV and Rachel drops some on the floor.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, Joey! Sorry!
    • joey
    • Joey
      No that's all right. Don't worry about it.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh but look! That's gonna leave a stain!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Rach! Hey! It's fine! You're at Joey's!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Really?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah! Look! (He throws some of his spaghetti on the floor.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I've never lived like this before.
    • joey
    • Joey
      I know.
    • (Rachel throws some of hers down.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      All right, don't waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 17

      Central Perk, Ross and Elizabeth are deciding what to do on their second date.

    • ross
    • Ross
      What do you want to do now? Huh? You wanna go get a drink?
    • Elizabeth
      Uhh, I can't.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh, you have some studying to do?
    • Elizabeth
      No, I have some turning 21 to do.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Y'know I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to... (He sees some of his colleagues enter and puts his head on her lap.)
    • Elizabeth
      What are you doing?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Nothing, I'm-I'm just, I'm so comfortable with you!
    • Elizabeth
      Do you not want to be seen with me?
    • ross
    • Ross
      What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone?
    • Elizabeth
      Uh no, they're still here but I think I'm about to leave.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What?! No! No! Wait! You're right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? There's nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
    • Elizabeth
      Hi!
    • Lydia
      Aren't you in my Popular Culture class?
    • ross
    • Ross
      That's right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, we're dating. And you may frown upon that, but we're not gonna hide it anymore.
    • Mel
      You are so fired.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What?
    • Burt
      They're gonna fire you! You can't date a student! It's against the rules.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Really? Its not just frowned upon?
    • new scene
    • Scene 18

      Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are throwing huge spitballs at the entertainment center.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I love it at Joey's!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, here you go. (Hands her another one.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (entering, sees Rachel's throw) Ni-hi-ice!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Thanks!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, very funny. I don't know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesn't say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Let's hug it up! (They hug.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay. Okay. (Joey puts him down.) What are you gonna do to me if you get the part?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (entering) Hey! Hi!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hi!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Uh-huh.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think I'm partly at fault. You see, I didn't, I didn't tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so y'know let's just face it, that's just kindling! So I think it's better that I stay at Joey's.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides y'know what? I'm fine here.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay. Oh umm, Chandler, Monica is looking for you.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Really?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah she said something about crumbies.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (To Rachel) Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy!
    • joey
    • Joey
      That's right, all the ladies want to stay at Joey's.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No! No! Phoebe, come on! I don't want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No but at Monica's you can eat cookies over the sink!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I know. I'm sorry.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      All right fine! This looks like so much fun. (Examining the bowl of wet paper towels.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      God, what a mess. (She grabs the bowl and heads for Monica's.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 19

      Ross's apartment, Ross is looking at his handbook. Elizabeth is also there.

    • ross
    • Ross
      Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I can't date you or have a hot plate in my office. I can't believe we have to stop seeing each other.
    • Elizabeth
      For what it's worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more.
    • ross
    • Ross
      I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we can't date. It's against the rules. It's forbidden.
    • Elizabeth
      Wow!
    • ross
    • Ross
      What?
    • Elizabeth
      Just hearing you describe it as forbidden, it's really hot.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Really?
    • Elizabeth
      Yeah.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well I-I-I don't care how hot it is it's-it's uh, it's wrong.
    • Elizabeth
      Stop it! (She starts to get all worked up.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      (feeling it too) No! No! It's wrong! It's-it's-it's naughty. It's taboo.
    • Elizabeth
      Shut the book!
    • (They frantically start making out.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Let's also get a hot plate!
    • (They start making out again.)
    • CLOSING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 20

      Joey's apartment, Joey is eating pizza as Chandler enters.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So?!
    • joey
    • Joey
      So?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      It's Thursday! How was the audition?!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Wh? Monday, one day. Tuesday, two day. Wednesday, when huh what? Thurs-(He gasps in horror.) Oh! (Runs out and Chandler just shakes his head. After a second Joey runs back in to grab a piece of pizza and runs back out.)
    • END