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  •  /  Friends  /  S10E04 The One With The Cake


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Central Perk

    • monica
    • Monica
      (she enters) Hey guys!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Honey, I got us that room at the Woodford Inn this weekend.
    • monica
    • Monica
      That place in Vermont? You can take a hint!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Wait, you can't go away this weekend! It's Emma's birthday!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      We're having a party.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, can't you just have the party when we get back?
    • ross
    • Ross
      No.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No, that day... that won't be her real birthday!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Gee if only she were one and had no idea what the hell a birthday was!
    • ross
    • Ross
      C'mon you guys, this is really important to us.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, I'm sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away. You know, to reconnect... emotionally.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, can't you just go to Vermont the next day?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, we want everyone to be there. As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle!
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right, we'll stay. We can just drive up after the party.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Fine, but if we end up not doing this Maxim thing because of this party...
    • monica
    • Monica
      Believe me, that is not why we won't be doing that!
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Rachel and Joey's apartment

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (he enters) Hey guys!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hi!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey, I brought the camera for Emma's video.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, COOL!! Wow, it's like a time capsule!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, just think... she's gonna be watching that video on a TV that hasn't even been invented yet! With friends who right now are just like babies! And they'll be living in a floating city that the humans built to escape the ant people!
    • ross
    • Ross
      That's the hope! So, is Emma awake yet?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh no, it's still nap time. But she'll be up soon.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ah, and where is Joey?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I said it's still nap time.
    • (Joey comes out from his room, yawning)
    • ross
    • Ross
      (taping Joey with the cam) Hey, there is uncle Joey!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey, say something to Emma on her 18th birthday!
    • joey
    • Joey
      18, uh? (starts to prepare himself to say his "How You Doin'" line)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Joey, NO!
    • joey
    • Joey
      What, what!? it's for her hot friends!
    • ross
    • Ross
      When they see this you'll be 52!
    • joey
    • Joey
      And starting to think about settling down!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hey Joey, will you please set this up for people to put Emma's presents on?
    • joey
    • Joey
      I'd love to! Yeah!
    • joey
    • Joey
      (To Phoebe) We were supposed to bring presents?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah! I wrote Emma a song.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, yeah! How was I supposed to know?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Joey, it's a birthday party.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
    • (Monica and Chandler enter)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey hey! Where's the birthday girl?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, she's still napping
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, sure, she was probably up all night, excited about the party she knows is happening.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right... you're right. We're sorry. Now let's wake up Emma and get the fun time started!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No really, she didn't sleep well last night, so we can't wake her up.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Are you freaking kidding me, Green?
    • (someone knocks on the door. Rachel goes to open it)
    • Jack and Judy
      HI!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (points the camcorder towards them to record their entrance) Hey!
    • monica
    • Monica
      So glad you came!
    • Jack
      I can't believe Emma is already one!
    • Judy
      (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that.
    • Jack
      Thank you!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us!
    • Jack
      Which one are you?
    • (Time lapse)
    • monica
    • Monica
      I can't believe Emma is still asleep!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I know, what are we gonna do?
    • monica
    • Monica
      I've got a plan. I've got a plan. I'm going to ram this platter really hard into your ribs. You're gonna scream out and that'll wake her up!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I'm not going to Vermont with this Monica!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey Pheebs, you know what? I was thinking... since you wrote a song, maybe I could do something for Emma using my talents!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      So you're gonna... hit on her?
    • joey
    • Joey
      No, no, no! My talents as an actor!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh!
    • joey
    • Joey
      You know, I could like maybe... I could do a dramatic reading of one of her books!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Or you could stick a fork in an apple!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, I think Emma might like it!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh! Emma might like what?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Um, my present!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What did you get her?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Actually we prepared performances.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Separate performances.
    • joey
    • Joey
      But equally real!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, this sounds like fun! Well, you know what? Actually? People are getting a little antsy waiting Emma to wake up from her nap, so would you mind performing them once now?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Sure, yeah!
    • joey
    • Joey
      (unconfidently) O K.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (to everybody) All right, let's get this party started, huh? Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh, great!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (to Joey) Are you gonna be embarrassed going up there having nothing prepared?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      So, Joey, what are you gonna do for us?
    • joey
    • Joey
      I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma's books.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, ok, which one?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Uh, why, it's a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) "Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression" eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) "Love you forever". Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be". (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be".
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (crying) Wow! That was amazing!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Thank you so much for that gift!
    • Chandler (nearly weeping)
      I was not ready for this today!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Amazing... amazing.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, Phoebe, I'm sorry! Phoebe has prepared something as well.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      That's right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there's no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Is that it?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, of course not! I also, you know, prepared a reading (she picks up a book). "Sex and the single mother. (pause) Finding your G-spot.
    • Everybody
      No, no, no, no, no!
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      Joey's Apartment. Ross is filming his parents

    • Judy
      Hello Emma. Happy eighteenth birthday.
    • Jack
      Right now that seems so far away, seventeen years.
    • Judy
      Yes, you'll be all grown up by then. We'll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
    • Jack
      That's true! This message could becoming to you from beyond the grave, Emma!
    • Judy
      After all, my parents died very young.
    • Jack
      And my cholesterol's off the charts!
    • Judy
      Remember, Emma, heart disease kills women too!
    • Ross (stops recording)
      Ok, cut! Great. That was... that was just... yeah!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ross, um, don't forget to get a shot of Emma's cake. It's in a box in the fridge.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Sure.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino's.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes, in all different shapes, and if you give them a photo, they'll copy it in icing!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, did you do a picture of Emma?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yes! On a cake shaped like a bunny.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Uh, Rach? Does this bakery by any chance also bake erotic cakes? Say for bachelorette parties?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ross, what are you talking about? (she sees the cake) oh! Oh my God! They put my baby's face on a penis!
    • Phoebe (sees the cake)
      oh! Now it's a party!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
    • Joey (staring at the cake)
      Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
    • Judy
      (to Jack) Jack, look at this.
    • Jack
      I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
    • ross
    • Ross
      I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.
    • Rachel (on the phone)
      No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter's birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby's face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
    • joey
    • Joey
      I'm so confused!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      To be fair this one does have nuts.
    • (Time lapse)
    • (Ross, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen area)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey Mon, that was really nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could go and get the cake.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh. So nice of her to pull my hair, 'till I dropped the key!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? (takes the camcorder and points it at Monica and Chandler) Ok!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hi Emma! It's the year 2020. Are you still enjoying your nap?
    • monica
    • Monica
      We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      We used to be married, but then we missed a weekend away together and things kind of unraveled. Because of you! Happy Birthday. (Ross looks disappointed and switches the camcorder off)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      And you know, I have a massage client soon.
    • ross
    • Ross
      You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Alright, 5 more minutes.
    • (The phone rings, Ross picks up)
    • ross
    • Ross
      (Into receiver) Hello? (listens) Oh no! What happened? (listens some more) Ok ok, where are you? (Grabs a pen and starts writing). Ok, I'll be right there. (Puts the phone down)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Was that Emma? Is she up?
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, if you're leaving, I'm definitely gonna go.
    • monica
    • Monica
      No! Wait! If anybody gets to go.. it's us (Points at herself and Chandler) We've been complaining the longest!
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, wait ! You guys, no, no, you can't leave! Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up. How do you think she's gonna feel when she comes back here and all you guys are gone?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I don't know! You'll tell us on Monday!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Joey! You're in charge, ok? You make sure nobody leaves! (leaves)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      To the bathroom!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Alright, well the rest of you get comfortable, ok, because we're gonna be here for a li...(stops and thinks) Wait a minute, there is a window in there!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh no! He's not getting away that easy! (Phoebe and Joey run towards the bathroom and enter)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (Yelling) What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! (Phoebe and Joey come out looking shocked)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, it did not.
    • joey
    • Joey
      No.
    • Judy
      Well, we better get going, it's late. Jack's not allowed to drive at night anymore. He has trouble staying in his lane.
    • Jack
      Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.
    • Judy
      Anyway, it was lovely seeing you.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Ok! (Opens the door for them)
    • Judy
      Bye... Bye dear.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Nighty-night!
    • Judy
      Nighty-night!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Bye, bye.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Joey? How could you just let them leave?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, hey, hey, hey! I'm not gonna mess with Jack, he's a great man, he fought for our country.
    • monica
    • Monica
      No, he didn't! He pretended to be a Quaker to get out of Korea.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      You do know, I can just turn them the other way around, right?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
    • (The phone rings, Joey picks up)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hello?
    • Estelle
      (on the other side of the line) Joey! It's Estelle!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey! (smiles)
    • Estelle
      So, how did your audition go today?
    • joey
    • Joey
      (smile fades) What audition?
    • Estelle
      The one I told you about last week?
    • joey
    • Joey
      What? You never said anything about an audition!
    • Estelle
      (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
    • joey
    • Joey
      A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah, and we've paid for a room, that we're supposed to be in right now!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
    • monica
    • Monica
      No! no! Let's figure out a fair way to decide who's staying.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (She gives Joey a you-are-so-stupid-look) Ok, ten.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay, Monica picks ten, I call nine! Anyone else?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, lets just draw straws.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Or.. we could flip a coin, and then multiply the..
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I'm begging you stop.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Right.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Ok, how about this: We got wind up toys for Emma for her birthday. We can make them race, and whoever comes in last, stays!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (Visibly excited) Yeah!! Let's do that!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (Also very excited) That sounds more fun than the thing we were going to do in Vermont!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Everybody get your toys! (They all run toward the table with toys)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Ok! I want the dolphin!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Thats a bear.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I'm too excited!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Ok, ladies and gentlemen, wind your toys! (they do so)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ok, on your mark... Get set... GO!!!
    • (Monica, Phoebe and Joey release their wind-up toys.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Go! Go!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Come on robot!
    • (Phoebe's bear takes the lead, followed by Joey's robot, and far behind is Chandler and Monica's dog, which walks a few paces, stops and starts barking, sits, walks again, and so on... )
    • monica
    • Monica
      (to the dog) What are you barking at?
    • (While Phoebe's bear is still in the lead, it is now closely followed by Joey's robot. Chandler and Monica's dog however, sits down, barking... and does a backflip.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Wha... How the hell is that gonna help?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I bought you. How did I forget that that's all you do?
    • (Meanwhile the race has been won by Phoebe's bear, followed by Joey's robot)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Way to go robot!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Good job Alan!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, good race you guys.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, see you later!
    • (Joey and Phoebe leave for the door)
    • monica
    • Monica
      No! No, no... wait! We didn't lose. (turns to Chandler) The rules clearly stated that the last one to cross the finish line was the loser. Well, our dog never crossed the finish line, so technically...
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      They left.
    • (Monica turns to see the closed door.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      The freeway. Rachel is driving Monica's Porsche, while using her mobile phone. Ross is sitting next to her.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (into the phone) No, there isn't time to go to the bakery. We're just gonna come home... Everybody left? Alright, well just tell Emma we're gonna be there as soon as we can. (emotionally) Bye...
    • (She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      RACHEL!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      OOH! God! Sorry!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (sarcastically) I can't believe they gave you a ticket. You're such a good driver.
    • (Ross fastens his seat belt.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Emma's awake.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Rach, she's not going to remember this.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (looks back at the cake) Hey!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?
    • ross
    • Ross
      It's not bad.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, I'm very impressed.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Some can sing, some can dance. I apparently can turn phallic cakes into woodland creatures.
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      Rachel and Joey's apartment. Chandler, Monica and Emma are sitting on the floor, and Emma's stuffed animals are lined up in front of them.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Now another way to organise your stuffed animals, is by size.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I'm sorry, is this a game for Emma or for Monica?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Game?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Emma, you even know it's your birthday today? You're one! One-year-old, that's little.
    • (With his index finger he shows her how old she is. Emma also points her finger and babbles...)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ooh! That's my girl!
    • monica
    • Monica
      That's how old you are.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Did I teach her that? Did I just... impart wisdom?
    • monica
    • Monica
      (embraces Emma tightly) Ooh, I want one...
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Me too...
    • (There's a couple of seconds of silence. Then Chandler looks around...)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      There's no-one around. Why don't we just take this one?
    • monica
    • Monica
      ...and head to Canada!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I was kidding.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I wasn't. Let's get going!
    • (Phoebe enters the apartment again.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey, are Ross and Rachel back?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No, not yet.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh good, I didn't miss the party.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What about your massage client?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
    • (Joey comes running into the apartment, out of breath.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay, if Ross and Rachel ask, I've been here the whole time. THE WHOLE TIME!
    • (Ross and Rachel enter.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (to Ross and Rachel) I've been here the whole time!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Joey, we just saw you come in. You ran past us on the stairs.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey, guys! Come on! You gotta see what Emma just did.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Emma, how old are you? How old are you today? (holds up his index finger again)
    • Emma
      Wo-ish. (and holds up her finger)
    • (Ross and Rachel gasp)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh! Emma, that's right! You're that many!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh my God! Our daughter's a genius! Rach, this means...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (angrily) NO, no science camp!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Damnit! I'll put a candle on the cake.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh!... Oh and Emma, look at your stuffed animals lined up so neatly!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Thanks!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay, here we go! Emma's first birthday cake... Well hey... well, blow out the candle. Come on Emma.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Let's do it, come on!
    • (Rachel wipes away some tears.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      What's wrong? Are you okay?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh yeah, nothing! These are happy tears! This is just what I wanted.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (pointing at cake) Hey, you made it into a bunny.
    • joey
    • Joey
      What is wrong with me. It looked more delicious when it was a penis.
    • ENDING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      Rachel and Joey's apartment. It's just Ross and Rachel. They put the camera on a tripod in the kitchen and they are standing in front of the camera.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay, you ready?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah.
    • ross
    • Ross
      A-a-and... record.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
    • (There's a lot of yelling and screaming coming from the hallway, and they get up to look at what's the noise all about. In the hallway, Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe are having another wind-up animal race, yelling and screaming fanatically.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (yelling at the top of her voice) Go, go, go Alan! Run you, hairy bastard!
    • END