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  •  /  Friends  /  S07E17 The One With The Cheap Wedding Dress


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey are there. Monica is holding a piece of paper.

    • monica
    • Monica
      So the wedding caterer sent me this list of twelve appetizers and I have to narrow it down to six.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Food? Uh-huh gimme! (She hands him the paper.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that we're trying to get to play at the wedding?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Since when are you into swing music?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh since forever! I used to go all over town listening to bands!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Chandler.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Gap commercial. (To Monica) So did you book them? Did you call?
    • monica
    • Monica
      I will.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Do you want me to call?
    • monica
    • Monica
      No, I'll do it. You just stick to your job.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What is your job?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Staying out of the way.
    • joey
    • Joey
      This is impossible Monica, why don't you just pick all 15? (Hands back the paper.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      There were only twelve.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh yeah, I added three.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What are peanut butter fingers?!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh yeah... (He mimes sticking his fingers into a jar of peanut butter, scooping some out, and eating it off his fingers.)
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      A Street, Chandler and Ross are at a newsstand.

    • ross
    • Ross
      (noticing a beautiful woman moving in down the street) Well hello! She's cute! Should we uh, go try to talk to her?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Sure! That's one of the great things about being engaged. I'm not nervous talking to pretty girls anymore.
    • The Woman
      Could you guys help me? (Chandler shyly exhales and looks away.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Uh yeah! Let me, let me get that for you.
    • The Woman
      It-it's really heavy.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (exhales) I got it. (He lifts the box and grunts under the strain.) (Calmly) So hi, I'm uh, I'm Ross and this is my friend Chandler. (He shyly waves.)
    • The Woman
      I-I am Kristen.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Kristen, hi. Are you uh, new to the area, 'cause if you are...I'd love to show you around sometime.
    • Kristen
      I...I uh, actually just moved from four blocks over.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ah.
    • Kristen
      But-but this block is like a whole other world.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Y'know actually it does have a very interesting history. Uh, this street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system. (Kristen crinkles her nose at that.) Before that sewage and waste would just flow right down the street. Yeah, sometimes ankle deep! (He stops when he realizes what he's talking about.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (To Ross) Smooth.
    • Kristen
      (To Chandler) Excuse me? (Chandler does the shy thing again.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Umm, say you're gonna be starving after all this moving. What do you say I take you to dinner tonight?
    • Kristen
      Oh I'd like that.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah?
    • Kristen
      Yeah.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Great! Uh, let me take this up for you. (The box he's holding.)
    • Kristen
      After you.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When she's gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler can't pick it up.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      A Bridal Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for Monica who is trying on her wedding dress.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (wearing a veil) Am I crazy or does this totally go?!
    • (Monica enters from the dressing room wearing her gown.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh my God! You look so beautiful!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (To Rachel) Thank you Rachel but, look at Monica!
    • monica
    • Monica
      This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I can't believe I found it!
    • (Another woman walks up.)
    • The Woman
      Wow you look so beautiful! If I knew you, I'd cry.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well I'm Monica Geller, ball like a baby.
    • The Woman
      I'm Megan Bailey.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Have you found your dress yet?
    • Megan
      Oh no, these dresses are all so amazing but there is no way I could afford one.
    • monica
    • Monica
      No, I can't afford this either. No. I-I-I'm, I'm just to figure out which one I want then I'm gonna get it at Kleinman's, this discount place in Brooklyn, day after tomorrow they are having a huge sale.
    • Megan
      Oh, thanks for the tip.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah! So-so when are you getting married?
    • Megan
      Oh I'm not, I just like to try these on.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I do the same thing.
    • Megan
      I'm just kidding. I'm getting married July 25th.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I'm just kidding too. (Laughs) I'm getting married in December. (Turns away not happy with herself.)
    • Megan
      (To Monica) So when are you getting married?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh May 15th.
    • Megan
      Oooh it's getting close!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah!
    • Megan
      So uh, who's your photographer?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Jeffery.
    • Megan
      We met with him. Did he show you the photos of the nude wedding he did?
    • monica
    • Monica
      The best man? Wow!
    • Megan
      I know! I almost called off my wedding. Oh, who's your band?!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, my fiancee wants the Swing Kings.
    • Megan
      Oh, you're so lucky. My fiancee wants the heavy metal band Carcass.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Ooh, is that spelled with a 'C' or a 'K'? Oh my God! It doesn't matter; they're both great!
    • (Another woman walks past Rachel carrying a wedding dress.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh y'know what? Y'know what? Now that you know what you want you should go to Kleinman's and get it half off. This place is so overpriced.
    • The Woman
      I own this store.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      So, does this (The dress) come in another color or... (The store owner walks away.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      A Street, Joey is walking by Kristen who is still moving in.

    • joey
    • Joey
      (checking her out) Hi! You uh, movin' in or movin' out?
    • Kristen
      I'm moving in.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh uh, can I give you a hand?
    • Kristen
      Oh okay. But y'know what? Be careful. Because a guy was helping me before had to leave because he hurt his back.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Boyfriend?
    • Kristen
      No.
    • joey
    • Joey
      I'm Joey. (They shake hands.)
    • Kristen
      Kristen.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh wow, what a beautiful name! (Pause) What is it again?
    • Kristen
      Kristen.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Got it! (He picks up a lamp.) So...
    • Kristen
      So uh, do you live around here?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. (Points.) Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop (Points to hers) or you can wake up with your shoes gone.
    • Kristen
      I'll remember that.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay. Yeah. Listen would you uh, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
    • Kristen
      Oh I, I have plans tonight.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh.
    • Kristen
      But how about tomorrow?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? (The lamp he's holding.)
    • Kristen
      You look strong, why don't I take that and you grab one of the boxes.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay. Yeah. (She leaves and he goes to pick up a box marked books, but decides to take the box marked pillows instead.) Yeah, I'll grab this one. (He follows her upstairs.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      Kleinman's, a horde of women including Rachel, Phoebe, and Monica are waiting for the store to open.

    • A Woman
      What is taking so long?! I mean whatever!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (To Phoebe) So this is Brooklyn.
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what you're looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Got it.
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right.
    • (A worker comes to open the door and the horde starts to press forward.)
    • A Woman
      Here he comes! Hurry!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh they're pushing! They're pushing!!
    • monica
    • Monica
      (To Rachel) Hey! Don't be a baby!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well I...
    • (The door opens allowing the horde to charge in, knocking Rachel out of the way and to the ground.)
    • A Woman
      Let's go!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (coming back out) Hey! Rachel! Come on!!!!
    • [Time lapse, inside the store, Monica is frantically looking for her dress.]
    • monica
    • Monica
      No. No. Not it. Not it. Not it. (Checks another rack and another woman tries to reach around her.) (To the woman) Don't crowd me! (Finds it) This is it! This is the dress! Oh my God, it's perfect! (She takes it off of the rack and someone has a hold of it on the other side of the rack and tugs on it.) I'm sorry, this one's taken! (The other woman tugs harder pulling Monica through the rack.) Whoa!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Megan!
    • Megan
      Monica!
    • monica
    • Monica
      You came?!
    • Megan
      Yeah!
    • monica
    • Monica
      This is my dress!
    • Megan
      No!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yes it is! You saw me wearing it!
    • Megan
      And now you'll see me buying it.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What? You freak! You wouldn't even have known about this place if it wasn't for me!
    • Megan
      Look, you don't want to fight me.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Maybe I do! I'm pretty feisty! (She blows the signal.)
    • [Cut to Phoebe in another part of the store.]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (hearing the signal) I'm coming! I'm coming! (She takes off towards the signal and almost knocks another woman over.)
    • Woman
      Hey!
    • (She hears another signal in another direction.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay! (Runs that way and hears another whistle blast.) Hey! (Heads the other way and hears another blast.) What do I do?!! (She runs in the second direction and finds that the whistling is coming from inside a rack. She moves the dresses out of the way to find Rachel curled up in a fetal position frantically blowing on the whistle.) What are you doing? (Rachel doesn't stop.) Did you find the dress? (Rachel won't stop so Phoebe pinches her nose shut which causes her to spit the whistle out.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Did you find the dress?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No! You gotta get me out of here Phoebe! These bargain shoppers are crazy!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I-We gotta get Monica. (She starts to leave.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No! You gotta hold my hand!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh my God!! (She grabs Rachel's hand and drags her towards Monica.) Excuse me! Excuse me! (She's knocking women and veils out of the way as she moves.)
    • (She gets to Monica who has the dress balled up in one hand and is sitting on Megan who is sprawled out on the floor.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      (handing Phoebe the dress) Go! Go! Go!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (seeing who's trapped) Hey...
    • monica
    • Monica
      NOW!!!!!!!! (Rachel runs off and Monica gets up to follow her.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      Central Perk, Chandler and Ross are there.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So Ross, how was your date the other night? Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying she'd like to go out again.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Huh.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah in fact, I'm gonna go call her right now. And I'll make sure to tell her my friend Chandler says... (He mimics the shy reaction Chandler did.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (entering) Hey Chandler!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Listen, sorry I didn't stop by last night but I had a date.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Uh Joe, when it's one o'clock in the morning and you don't come by? That's okay!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well check it out, I was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Really? Right across the street?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      When'd you meet her?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Two days ago.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Excellent! Y'know Ross met somebody too!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh yeah?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (returning) Hey.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hi! How'd it go?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh great! We're going out again Saturday. But I just found she's also seeing some other guy.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (sarcastically shocked) Really?! Joe? What would you do if you were in Ross's situation?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, I'm dating this girl who's also seeing another guy. But, I don't know, I'm not to worried about it.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well you shouldn't be. Believe me I wouldn't want to be the guy who's up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So this is nice! I wish I didn't have to go, believe me! But unfortunately I have to. (He gets up and Joey moves over next to Ross.) Oh uh, by the way, what's the name the girl you're dating?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Kristen Lang.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Bye! (Exits.)
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      Central Perk, time lapse from the earlier scene.

    • ross
    • Ross
      Well obviously only one of us can keep dating her.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Obviously! So, how do we decide?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well now let's-let's look at this objectively, I think I should date her...
    • joey
    • Joey
      (not buying it) Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Or, or I'm the one who dates her.
    • ross
    • Ross
      That's interesting, but check this out. I date her...
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah-yeah I like that but just to go in another direction...
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay, okay. This can go on for a while.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah well we should order some food then.
    • ross
    • Ross
      No Joey! Look why don't, why don't we just let her decide? Okay? Hey-hey, we'll each go out with her one more time. And-and we'll see who she likes best.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (smiling) That sounds fair.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Maybe I'll take her to that new French restaurant down the street...
    • joey
    • Joey
      Ah yeah-wait a second now! Look we're gonna have to set a spending limit on the date. I don't have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well sorry, that's what I do on dates.
    • joey
    • Joey
      All right, well I guess I'll just have to do what I do on dates.
    • ross
    • Ross
      So let's decide on the spending limit...
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah. Uh, (thinks)...a slice...(Thinks)...six dollars?
    • ross
    • Ross
      I was thinking more like a hundred.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay. Can I borrow 94 dollars?
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are admiring Monica's wedding dress.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I know. Hand me a tissue. (Monica hands her one.)
    • (Rachel goes to the fridge, opens it, and blows on the whistle Monica gave her at the store, which causes Phoebe and Monica to turn around and look at her.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You're out of Diet Coke.
    • (The phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel goes into the bathroom.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hello? (Listens) What?! (Listens) You what?! (Listens) Hey you listen here missy! (Listens) Wh-(She is hung up on.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What?!
    • monica
    • Monica
      That was that girl Megan! She booked the Swing Kings on the day of our wedding and said that I couldn't have them back unless I gave her the dress!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (gasps) Does that mean Carcass is available?
    • monica
    • Monica
      What am I gonna do?! That is the dress! That is the dress! Wh...Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well just figure out a way to talk him out of it.
    • monica
    • Monica
      How?
    • (There are three short whistle blasts from the bathroom.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You're out of toilet paper!
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      Ross's apartment, Ross is getting ready for his date with Kristen.

    • joey
    • Joey
      (entering) Hey!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey! What's up?
    • joey
    • Joey
      I just wanted to come by and y'know, wish you good luck on your date.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh thanks!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah. What time are you meeting her?
    • ross
    • Ross
      We have 8:00 reservations at Grammercy Bistero.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Wow, that's in like 20 minutes. You'd better get dressed.
    • ross
    • Ross
      I am dressed.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh. Well good! (To himself) For me. (He picks up a jar of lotion.) What is this? Did you give yourself a facial?
    • ross
    • Ross
      I have an oily T-zone!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay dude! (Finds a receit.) Hey you uh, you sent Kristen flowers.
    • ross
    • Ross
      That's right.
    • joey
    • Joey
      You spent a hundred dollars. That's the limit. You're screwed!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Uh actually, I sent the flowers before the actual date. So techincally, technically I didn't break any rules. Thanks for stopping by though.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh-oh! So that's the way it's gonna be huh? Yeah I can break the rules too y'know!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh yeah? What are you gonna do?
    • joey
    • Joey
      I don't know.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Why am I not surprised?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Y'know what Ross? I'm not gonna let you get away with this!
    • ross
    • Ross
      I don't think you have much choice.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well we'll see!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Bye-bye!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah bye-bye! (Exits and comes back in still holding the lotion.) Hey! So just a light layer?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yes. Yes. Just here (Runs his fingers down the bridge of his nose) and there (Runs his fingers across his forehead).
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering without touching anything with his hands. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Joey got meat sauce on the banister again! (He goes into the bathroom to wash his hands.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, swing music is so out.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Phoebe, he's gotta be in the room for that to work.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (returning) What are you guys talking about?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well umm, we were just talking about the y'know, the Swing Kings and just wondering whether y'know, they were the right way to go.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, I went to a wedding once where they had swing music and uh, two months later the couple got divorced. And now I'm not saying that there's any connection here y'know, but they did tell me that's why they got divorced.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      But I love swing music!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah but the Swing Kings? Y'know they suck so much that people actually die at their concerts-They just stop living.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Look all I know is when Monica and I went to see them, we had fun! And there's another reason too.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, what is the other reason?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I don't want to say.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well you have to because maybe it's stupid.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well it's just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was...the first time I knew that...you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh crap!
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matire'd.

    • ross
    • Ross
      So they said our table will be ready in just a few minutes.
    • Kristen
      Oh great!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah.
    • Kristen
      Is your back feeling better?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh yeah it's fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (entering) Kristen?
    • Kristen
      Joey!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hi!
    • Kristen
      Hi! What are you doing here?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh I like this place. And technically, technically I'm not breaking any rules so I...
    • Kristen
      Well uh, Ross? This is Joey. Joey? Ross.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hi!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hi. (They shake hands.) It's nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I don't anymore.
    • Kristen
      Our table will be ready in a couple minutes.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah. So...
    • joey
    • Joey
      Sure! I would love to wait with you guys! Thanks! (Sits down.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      So Joey umm, you look familiar. Are uh, are you on TV or something?
    • Kristen
      Well Joey doesn't like to talk about it but, he's one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives.
    • ross
    • Ross
      That's right! That's right, don't you play a woman?
    • joey
    • Joey
      A woman in a man's body.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Much better.
    • joey
    • Joey
      So y'know Ross it's funny 'cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how I've been married and how I have a son.
    • Kristen
      Yeah, little Eric.
    • ross
    • Ross
      That's right! Wait no, Ben.
    • joey
    • Joey
      So you've just married the one time then?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well umm...
    • Kristen
      You've been married twice?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yes. And another time after that. Boy I'm getting hungry! Hey Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date that when a girl goes to the bathroom you eat some of her food?
    • Kristen
      You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well now-why did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
    • Kristen
      Do you two know each other?
    • ross
    • Ross
      No. No.
    • joey
    • Joey
      No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
    • (Kristen is not enjoying this.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Wait a minute! Were you on a poster for gonorrhea?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey you leave Marcel out of this!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Fine! Have you ever got stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey-hey have you ever locked yourself in a TV cabinet VD boy?!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Monkey lover!
    • (They both notice that Kristen has left.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      When do you think we lost her?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Probably around gonorrhea.
    • new scene
    • Scene 12

      Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hi, honey! I'm home!
    • monica
    • Monica
      (from the bedroom) Don't come in here!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Why? Do you another boyfriend in there or something?
    • monica
    • Monica
      No! We only mess around at his place!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Y'know it's funny I started it but, now it's scary me. So could you come out here please?
    • monica
    • Monica
      No, I'm wearing a wedding dress.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh you got a wedding dress? That's great!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah but I'm not keeping it.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well then why can't I see it?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh. I guess you can. Okay but; I-I have to return it, so you can't like it.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay I promise. I'll-I'll hate it. (She enters.) Wow! You-you look...hideous.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Really?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, that's like the most ugliest dress I've ever seen. Wh-why do you to return it?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh because it doesn't...really fit. Oh by the way, I-I booked the Swing Kings.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh that's great! Great! Thanks! But that dress I mean it's like yuck! It's terrible! It makes me wanna just rip it right off of you!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay! But you can't rip it. Well, maybe a little.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay!
    • CLOSING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 13

      Monica and Chandler's, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are watching a basketball game on the couch.

    • monica
    • Monica
      (entering) Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? (They ignore her.) Guys?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (without turning around) I thought you were gonna be gone all day.
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right? What's going on?
    • (They all slowly turn around to reveal that they are giving themselves a facial.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I-I should probably leave you girls alone. (She heads for the bedroom.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, laugh all you want but in ten minutes we're gonna have younger looking skin!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Y'know, she could use a little...(Whistles that she needs to do what they're doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
    • END