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  •  /  Friends  /  S07E14 The One Where They All Turn Thirty


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Joey and Rachel's, Joey is knocking on Rachel's door, whose door frame is decorated with balloons. The rest of the gang is there as well. Rachel opens the door and the gang blow on noisemakers.

    • ross
    • Ross
      Happy birthday!!!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Happy birthday!!!
    • (Rachel glares at them and goes back into her room, closing her door.)
    • Everyone
      Rach! Come on! Rach!
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's your birthday!
    • Tag
      (entering from her room) Hey.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (To Monica) She's not as pretty as she was when she was 29.
    • Tag
      Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you don't use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      They do!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Chocolate-chip pancakes!
    • (There is no response from Rachel.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      We've got presents!
    • (She opens the door.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Good ones?
    • monica
    • Monica
      They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, can I keep the presents and still be 29?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Come on Rach! Look, turning thirty is not that big a deal.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh really. Is that how you felt when you turned thirty?
    • [Flashback to Joey's thirtieth birthday party. It is being held in Monica and Chandler's apartment.]
    • joey
    • Joey
      (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebe's lap for comfort.)
    • [Cut back to Rachel's party, everyone is now eating breakfast, except Rachel.]
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Y'know, I'm still 29 in Guam.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey, 30 is not that old! Do you know how old the Earth is?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No Rach, it's not just you. My thirtieth birthday certainly wasn't that much fun.
    • [Flashback to Chandler's thirtieth birthday party. It is also being held in Monica and his apartment. He is about to blow out the candles on his birthday cake.]
    • joey
    • Joey
      (screaming) And now Chandler! We're all gettin' so old! (Looking up) Why are you doing this to us?! (Turns away crying.)
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachel's still down.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Rach, you're in a great place in your life. Come on, you've got a great job! Good friends...
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, you're roommate is a soap opera star.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Look, y'know I know my life's going pretty well, but I look around and I just see so many people who've accomplished so many other goals by the time they're thirty.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, but you shouldn't compare yourself to me.
    • [Flashback to
      The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
    • Everyone
      Come on Phoebe! You can do it Phoebe! Come on!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      There you go!
    • (She crosses the line and they all cheer again.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! That's it!! That's everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      Joey and Rachel's, continued from earlier.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
    • Tag
      Come on, let's have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Nothing. I don't want to do anything.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, doing nothing on your thirtieth is better than doing something stupid, like Ross.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!
    • [Flashback to
      A street, Ross is sitting in his newly purchased MGB. Which is one of the better British sports cars ever made. Of course, 'better' is a relative term. Which reminds me of a joke. Why don't the British make computers? Because they couldn't figure out how to make them leak oil. Anyway, the gang is all staring at his new purchase.]
    • ross
    • Ross
      How hot do I look in this, huh?!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ross, a sports car? Wouldn't it have been cheaper to just stuff a sock down there?
    • ross
    • Ross
      That's not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, what's the horsepower on this thing?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (giddy) I don't know, but-but look how shiny!
    • monica
    • Monica
      I can't believe you bought this.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know it's really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, well get in line missy. (To Ross) So, can I have a ride stud?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hop in. (Phoebe hops in.) Get ready for the smoothest ride of your life.
    • (He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. He's completely boxed in and can't move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Damnit! (Shuts the car off.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (getting out) Okay, who's next?
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Y'know what? I am going to do something today. I'm not just gonna sit around like some old lady. I'm gonna get something pierced. Like my uh, like my nose or my tongue or something.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Really?! 'Cause y'know that hurts.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      So what?! Y'know what? The way I see it-(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)-Ow! Son of a bitch!!
    • Tag
      Look Rachel, I know what you're going through. I'm totally freaked about turning 25.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right Rach, for what it's worth, I think that you're doing great. I mean y'know let's face it, no one handles this well.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Least of all you.
    • Tag
      Why? What you'd do?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Weren't you asked to leave sonny?
    • [Flashback to Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monica's gonna be here any minute!
    • joey
    • Joey
      But it hurt's my Joey's Apple.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (frustrated) Okay, for the last time. It's not named for each individual man.
    • (Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
    • Mr. Geller
    • Mrs. Geller
      (To Chandler) You've done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh well, not as lovely as you. I mean, I can't believe that you would have a thirty-year-old daughter! (To Mr. Geller) And you! I can't believe that you would have a tux that's thirty years old! (Puts his hand on Mr. Geller's shoulder.)
    • Mr. Geller
    • Mr. Geller
      It's older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ohh! (He quickly removes his hand and looks at it.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (entering) Hey! Everybody hide! Hide! I saw her! She's coming!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay! Okay! Everybody down! Everybody down! (Rachel turns off the lights and everyone crouches. As everyone crouches, a ripping noise erupts from the assemblage.)
    • Mr. Geller
    • Mr. Geller
      Crap.
    • (We hear some fumbling at the door, then silence.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (getting up to investigate) Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out what's going on.
    • (He goes out into the hall and finds a very drunk Monica lying up against Joey and Rachel's door.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Heyyy!! You got the door open!! (Giggles.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey-hey are you drunk?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joey's doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Noo!!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yes!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Noo!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yes!!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, here's the thing. We're gonna get you some coffee and they will never know that you're drunk.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Really?! You promise?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, I'll take care of it.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay. I love you so much. (Kisses him.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (laughing) Okay we have to do something about your breath.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What about your breath?! (Breathes on him.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That's still yours. Okay, now remember it's a surprise party. So, when you go in, act surprised.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay. I can do that.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay.
    • (Chandler opens the door and Monica sneaks up on it. They go inside.)
    • Everyone
      Surprise!!!
    • (Monica screams and they all stare at her.)
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      Ross's birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.

    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay, forward. Forward-Stop! (The car moves an inch and Ross runs to the back of the car.) Okay, back-Stop! (The car barely moves and Ross runs back to the front.) Okay, forward-Stop! Stop! Stop!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Ross, just forget about it. This guy's got you totally wedged in.
    • (A beautiful woman approaches.)
    • Woman
      (To Joey) Is this yours?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well actually...
    • ross
    • Ross
      No-no-no! It's mine! It's-it's mine. (The woman walks away.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Dude, you soooo need this car.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (running up) Okay. Okay, here's what we're gonna do. Okay, I'm gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
    • (The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross who's tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      Phoebe's birthday, she's taking the hippity-hop to Ursula's apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) It's for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!
    • Ursula
      Right, why do you keep saying that?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Because it's our thirtieth birthday.
    • Ursula
      Yeah, no we're not thirty. We're 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
    • Ursula
      Oh, it's you.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah. What?!
    • Ursula
      Yeah, we're not thirty, we're 31.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Nu-uh!
    • Ursula
      Yea-huh! That's what is says on my birth certificate.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      You have your birth certificate?
    • Ursula
      Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Our mom.
    • Ursula
      (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Do you have my birth certificate?
    • Ursula
      No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (reading the certificate) Oh my God! Oh my God, we are 31.
    • Ursula
      Yeah.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I just lost a whole year of my life.
    • Ursula
      (sarcastic) Okay.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Your middle name is Pamela?
    • Ursula
      Yes.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, I never knew mine. Do you remember what it is?
    • Ursula
      Yes! Phoebe.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      That's my first name.
    • Ursula
      Right, okay, then no.
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      Monica's birthday, it's just after the surprise.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yay!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller who's sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller who's standing next to him.)
    • Mr. Geller
    • Mr. Geller
      Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
    • Mr. Geller
    • Mrs. Geller
      (stopping him) Don't get up Jack! The safety pins are about to blow.
    • (They continue their trek.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      (sees someone) Paul!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (correcting her) Phil.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Phil!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Now, there is a dress laid out on your bed. (Monica stumbles on the steps.) Okay, (catches her) you're doing great. You're doing great. You're doing fine.
    • (Phoebe approaches as they almost get to their room.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey, what's going on?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Monica's a little drunk.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yay! I love drunk Monica!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Awwwww... (Giggles.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesn't want her parents to know she's drunk.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Ohh! All right! All right. Here's what we'll do, I'll get twice as drunk as Monica and then no one's will even notice her.
    • (Chandler walks over to where the rest of the gang is.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What's-what's going on? Phil's really pissed!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Monica's wasted.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Maybe that will liven up this party.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, but taking care of a drunk, naked woman seems like a job for Joey.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yep. (Starts for Monica's room, but Chandler stops him.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      Rachel's birthday, everyone is presenting their presents to Rachel.

    • Tag
      (handing his to her) This one's from me.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ahh!
    • Tag
      It wasn't on your list, but hopefully you'll think it's really fun.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (opening it) A scooter! (She's not happy.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      (to Tag) Stick to the list. Always stick to the list.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No! No-no, I love it. Thank you. (Kisses him.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, open ours next. Open ours next!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Now that you're a couple, we don't get two presents from you guys?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay. (Opens the card and reads it.) Happy birthday Grandma! It's better to be over the hill (starting to cry) then buried under it. (Breaks down as everyone glares at them.) All our love Monica and Chandler. (Crying) That's funny, yeah!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No-no-no-no! That was the joke!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (crying) No, I know! I get it! It's funny!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No, because you're not a grandmother!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I don't have any of those things. That's why it's so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      All you had to do was buy the card!
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      Rachel's birthday, a time lapse has occurred. Rachel is coming back into the living room carrying a notepad.

    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey! Look who's back! It's the birthday girl! How's the birthday girl feeling?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, I feel fine, but I think you're bumming out the rest of the kids.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What? (Glances over and sees the faces of the rest of the group, then goes and sits down.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay! Y'know what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      As I was saying... I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time I'm 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      If you could do that, I'd marry the hippity-hop.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      So, if I wanna have my kid when I'm 35, I don't have to get pregnant until I'm 34. Which gives Prada four years to start making maternity clothes! Oh wait, but I do want to be married for a year before I get pregnant...
    • monica
    • Monica
      Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, it's happening!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No, so I don't have to get married until I'm 33! That's three years, that's three whole years-Oh, wait a minute though. I'll need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and I'd like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged... Which means I need to meet the guy by the time I'm thirty.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Which is fine! Because you just turned-(Removes two candles from the cake)-twenty-eight!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No! Ross, no! It is not fine! Eh-eh-according to my plan I should already be with the guy I wanna marry!
    • (We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Will you quit hoggin' it!
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      Monica's birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (To Chandler) I'm telling you it's like watching Bambi learn how to walk.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (To Monica) You're drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe I'm a little drunk.
    • (Monica sits down on the barca lounger.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (to a waiter) Oh that's great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (To Monica) How are you feeling?
    • monica
    • Monica
      You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now! (Growls and pulls him into a kiss.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      I really wish that you wouldn't.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and don't talk to anyone.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (clinking two glasses together) Speech! Speech! Let's hear from the birthday girl! Huh?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Pheebs!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Don't you see? Everyone's looking at me! The plan's working! I didn't even have to take off my top yet!
    • Mr. Geller
    • Mrs. Geller
      Speech! Come on Monica!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Come on!
    • Everyone
      Come on! Speech!
    • (Monica stands up and wobbles slightly and Chandler runs over to catch her.)
    • Mr. Geller
    • Mr. Geller
      (filming this) Hey Chandler, you can't keep your hands off her for one second!
    • Mr. Geller
    • Mrs. Geller
      Oh-ho, I think it's nice.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I think it's necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      I-I-I wanna thank you all for coming. My family and my friends...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (screaming) Wooo!! Hoo!!
    • monica
    • Monica
      I really like to say that I'm-um... (Pause) Y'know what I'd really like to say? I'm drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) That's right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dad's hands.) And guess what! I've been drunk before! And I've smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! It's all okay. It's okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah!!
    • (Ross pans the camera over to Phoebe.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Phoebe's birthday, she's telling everyone what she found out at Ursula's while sitting in Central Perk.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I lost a whole year! I can't believe it! This is so unfair!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, I don't know Pheebs. It'll be okay.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Will it? Will it?! I mean, how would you feel if you found out you were 31?
    • joey
    • Joey
      That's not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I...I haven't done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Like what?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Like okay I-I-I, I haven't met any Portuguese people! I, I haven't had the perfect kiss! And I haven't been to sniper's school!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Phoebe, y'know why don't we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, I just feel like being by myself for a while. All right? I'll see you guys later. Thanks. (Gets up and exits.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hey. (After she leaves.) Oh, poor Pheebs.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, y'know what you guys? I think I'm gonna go walk her home. (Gets up and runs out.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh man!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      What?
    • monica
    • Monica
      He's gonna eat the cake!
    • [Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
    • joey
    • Joey
      Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe that's one thing you can cross off your list.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh yeah.
    • (Joey starts to walk away, but stops.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, and plus I'm 1/16th Portuguese.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh! (Phoebe walks away smiling.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 12

      Ross's birthday, his car is still trapped in it's spot. Now Joey, Phoebe, and Ross are at the front of the car with Monica, Rachel, and Chandler at the rear of the car.

    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay, is everybody clear? We're gonna pick it up...and move it. Now all we need is teamwork, okay? We're gonna lift the car...and slide it out. Lift and slide!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ross, I really don't think...
    • ross
    • Ross
      (interrupting her) Lift!! And slide!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, here we go.
    • ross
    • Ross
      All right everyone, lift! (They and try to lift the car, of course it doesn't raise up) And slide!! (Everyone leans over, but the car still does not move.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 13

      Rachel's birthday, she is coming into the hallway where Joey and Tag are playing with the scooter.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hey Joey, can I...
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, come on Rach! My turn just started!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Actually, I just wanna talk to Tag.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh. Okay. Hey, can I ride this outside?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Whatever! Okay, I'm not your mother.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay! (Runs off downstairs.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Not in the street!!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yes!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (to Tag) Hi.
    • Tag
      Hey.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hey.
    • Tag
      How are you doing? Are you feeling any better?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, I'm doing okay. I'm um...let's talk.
    • Tag
      Okay. (They sit on the step.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Umm...
    • Tag
      What's up?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ohh Tag, umm...you're such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I don't-I don't...
    • Tag
      Wait! I think I see where you're going, but before you say anything else, can I just say one more thing? (Kisses her.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think I'm past the point where I think I can y'know, just have fun.
    • Tag
      Rachel, don't do this. This is just because you're turning thirty.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, it is! But you're just a kid! I mean you're 25!
    • Tag
      Twenty-four actually.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh God! Y'know what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if I'm wishin' for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
    • Tag
      Me too.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, I'm sorry. (They hug.)
    • [Time lapse, Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey! How'd it go?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, if I only want two kids, can I keep him for another year?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      You did the right thing.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (entering, limping, and holding his arm) I don't like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, here we are, just a bunch of thirty year olds.
    • ross
    • Ross
      God, do you realize in ten years we're gonna be 40?
    • joey
    • Joey
      (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Ross's shoulder.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 14

      Ross's birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.

    • ross
    • Ross
      Yes! My baby's finally free!
    • joey
    • Joey
      All-all right! (They run and jump in the car.) Start it up! Let's go!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (starting it) Woohoo!
    • (Just as they are about to pull away, a big, fat, bald guy pulls up in the exact same car as Ross and stops next to him.)
    • The Man In The Sportscar
      How hot are we? (He drives off.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      You wanna buy a car?
    • joey
    • Joey
      No.
    • (Ross shuts it off and they get out.)
    • CLOSING CREDITS
    • {Transcriber's Note
      There was no credits scene with this episode.}
    • END