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  •  /  Friends  /  S03E06 The One With The Flashback


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Central Perk, the whole gang is there including Janice.

    • Janice
      Janice has a question. Who of the six of you has sleep with the six of you?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Wow, it's like a dirty math problem.
    • ross
    • Ross
      I'm sorry the answer there would be...none of us.
    • Janice
      Come on over the years none of you ever y'know, got drunk and stupid.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, that's really a different question.
    • Janice
      I'm sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?!!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Excuse me, there was no time!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay, but let's say there was. How might that go?
    • Janice
      Okay, okay, well then answer me this. Has any of you ever.... almost?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Does anybody need more coffee?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, I'll take some.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, there's a dog out there!
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Monica and Phoebe's, three years earlier, Phoebe, Monica, and Ross are there

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, that is so unfortunate.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (entering from bedroom) Okay, I'll be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe I'm sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      You didn't leave lipstick marks on the phone.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, then it must've been you. Bye. (leaves)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) That's why I moved out.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey, y'know while we're on that, when are you gonna tell my sister that you don't live here anymore.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I think on some levels she already knows.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Phoebe, she doesn't know that you sneak out every night, she doesn't know that you sneak back every morning, and she doesn't know that you've been living with your Grandmother's for a week now.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, well maybe not on those levels.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (entering, with a goatee) Hey.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I'm never gonna find a roommate, ever.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Why, nobody good?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well let's see, there was the guy with the ferrets, that's plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
    • ross
    • Ross
      So how many more do you have tomorrow?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who I'm not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone 'Chandler Bing,' he said 'Whoa-whoa, short message.'
    • monica
    • Monica
      (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (to Phoebe) Sure, your dresser is missing but this she notices.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?
    • ross
    • Ross
      I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Umm, how's it going with you guys?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh, better, actually. Y'know I-I-I think I finally figured out why we were having so much trouble lately.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, really?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesn't really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think it's gonna make a difference
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      Chandler's, Chandler is interviewing a potential roommate.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Soo, ah, Eric, what kind of photography do ya do?
    • Eric
      Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope that's cool.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know......never.
    • Eric
      Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sister's beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, she's a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think you're chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      Chandler's, Chandler is interviewing Joey.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (running around the apartment pointing out things) Bedroom. Bathroom. Living room. This right here is the kitchen, and thanks for coming by, (opens door) Bye-bye.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Don't you ah, don't you wanna ask me any questions?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Sure. Ummm. What's up?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, ah, I'm an actor. I'm fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and don't worry I'm totally okay with the gay thing.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      What gay thing?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Ah, y'know just in general people being gay, thing. I'm totally cool with that.
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      the hallway, Monica is coming up the stairs.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well okay Jerry, thanks for stopping by.
    • (Joey is leaving and notices Monica, as Monica notices him)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hi.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey!
    • (Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler 'Oh my God!')
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      A bar, Chandler is entering.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey, Mon.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey-hey-hey. You wanna hear something that sucks.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Do I ever.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Chris says they're closing down the bar.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No way!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah, apparently they're turning it into some kinda coffee place.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Just coffee! Where are we gonna hang out now?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Got me.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (to bartender) Can I get a beer.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey, did you pick a roommate?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      You betcha!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Is it the Italian guy?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Um-mm, yeah right!
    • monica
    • Monica
      He's so cute.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh yes, and that's what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh look, the pool table's free. Rack 'em up. I'll be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, but after that, we're shootin' some pool.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I don't think this is.
    • Waitress
      I am so sorry.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      That's all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
    • Friend No. 1
      Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ummm, I think it's time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
    • Friend No. 2
      Oh, isn't it exciting, I mean it's like having a boyfriend for life.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, I know.
    • Friend No. 1
      What?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, I don't know. Well maybe it's just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I don't know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
    • Friend No. 1
      Rachel stop!
    • Friend No. 2
      You're so bad!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I'm serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see.
    • (Chandler throws the cue ball under there table.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Excuse, I seem to have dropped my ball.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, so?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (picks it up) And now I've picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Monica! Look! Hi! What do ya think? (shows her, her ring)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh my God, you can't even see where the Titanic hit it.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yes, his name is Barry, he's a doctor, thank you very much.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Awww, just like you always wanted. Congratulations
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Thank you. So how-how 'bout you, are-are you seeing anybody?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Aww, not right now.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, but that's okay.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I know.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah.
    • (An awkward silence)
    • monica
    • Monica
      So, I'll get-get back to my friend.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the cue ball as a 'Remember me?' thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next time I'm in the city?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, that'd be great.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Thanks.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Bye!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      Monica and Phoebe's, Ross is on the phone, as Phoebe is walking by carrying a lamp.

    • ross
    • Ross
      No real-, honey, really it's fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      So what are they doing?
    • ross
    • Ross
      I don't know, something girlie.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (to Monica, who's entering) Hey, you're early.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What are you doing with the lamp?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I'm just taking it to be re-wired.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, well don't take it to the same place you took the stereo, 'cause they've had that thing for over a week.
    • (There is a knock on the door, Phoebe answers it, its Mr. Heckles)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, no, Mr. Heckles no one is making any noise up here.
    • Mr. Heckles
      You're disturbing my oboe practice.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      You don't play the oboe!
    • Mr. Heckles
      I could play the oboe!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Then I'm gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
    • (in the hallway, Eric is moving in)
    • Mr. Heckles
      (to Eric) Who are you?
    • Eric
      Hi, I'm Eric, I'm gonna be Chandler's new roommate.
    • Mr. Heckles
      I'm Chandler's new roommate.
    • Eric
      I-I-I don't think so.
    • Mr. Heckles
      I could be Chandler's new roommate.
    • Eric
      But, he told me over the phone.
    • Mr. Heckles
      He told me in person.
    • Eric
      That's weird.
    • Mr. Heckles
      Well, I'm going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
    • (inside Chandler's apartment, Chandler is coming in from his bedroom, sees Mr. Heckles, and screams.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      the hallway, Joey is moving in, Monica is leaving.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Hi, again.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey! (goes into the apartment)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (leaving to go to work) Hey!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Thank you soo, much.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, don't thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
    • (Joey comes back into the hallway and starts to pick up a heavy box)
    • monica
    • Monica
      You want some help with that?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, no thanks, I got it. (picks it up) No I don't!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Whoa! Are you okay?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Whew! Stood up to fast, got a little head rush.
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's the heat. (has her hand on his chest, and then pulls it away) And-and the humidity.
    • joey
    • Joey
      That's a uh, that's a tough combination.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Do you wanna come in for some lemonade?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Like you wouldn't believe. (they go into the apartment) Wow! This is a great place.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Thank you. Just make yourself comfortable.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Gotcha.
    • monica
    • Monica
      This place is really my Grandmother's. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, I'm 87 year old woman, who's afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, you bet I am!
    • monica
    • Monica
      (turning around) Okay, here's your penis!
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      continued from earlier.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh my God!!! What are you doing?!!
    • joey
    • Joey
      You said, you wanna come in for some lemonade?
    • monica
    • Monica
      So?!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Whoa, ah!! We're you just gonna give me some lemonade?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah huh!! Cover yourself up!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh right, right.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I don't believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well usually...yeah! Well, not just lemonade, iced tea, sometimes juice. Well, sorry, I just, I thought you liked me. I'm such a jerk.
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is vacuuming.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Pheebs?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Huh?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Where's your bed?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      It's not in the apartment? (Monica gives a 'Come on' look) Oh no. I can't believe this is happening again.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, enough with the third degree! I-I've, I don't live here anymore.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What are you talking about?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I'm sorry, I-I-I-I don't live here anymore. I-I didn't know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Everybody knows!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldn't sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, you-you coulda just turned the cushion over.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, I would've except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?!?!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, this is what I'm talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
    • monica
    • Monica
      You can spill. In the sink.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Aw, honey it's not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I don't see that happening.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I love you, too.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Aww, good. (they hug) What?
    • monica
    • Monica
      What? I'm just said.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No you're not, you're wondering which cushion it is.
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Chandler and Joey's, (now) Joey is watching Baywatch, as Chandler enters from his bedroom.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So ah, whatcha watching?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Baywatch.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      What's it about?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Lifeguards.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, it sounds kinda stupid... (looks at the TV) Who's she?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Nicole Eggert. You'll like her.
    • (Baywatch goes into one of those running scenes.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Wow! Look at them run.
    • joey
    • Joey
      They do that a lot. Hey, you want a beer?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, I'll go get one.
    • joey
    • Joey
      No, no, no, don't get up, I got a cooler right here.
    • new scene
    • Scene 12

      Monica's, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, hello!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Do you have any beers? We're out of beers.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (all depressed) Help yourself.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      You okay?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Phoebe moved out.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Right.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I don't understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I don't have a boyfriend?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Noo!! You don't have a boyfriend because....I don't, I don't know why you don't have a boyfriend. You should have a boyfriend.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, I think so.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman I've ever known in real life.
    • new scene
    • Scene 13

      the bar, Ross is entering, Phoebe is at the bar, they are the only two in the place.

    • ross
    • Ross
      (all depressed) Hi. Where is everybody?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, it's already closed, Chris gave me the keys to lock up-what is wrong?
    • ross
    • Ross
      My marriage, I think my marriage is um, is kinda over.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh no! Why?
    • ross
    • Ross
      'Cause Carol's a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and I'm not one. And apparently it's not a mix and match situation.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh my God! I don't believe it! Oh, you poor bunny.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) I'm an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and I'd be out and she'd, she'd see some beautiful woman, and, and she'd be Ross y'know look at her, and I'd think, God, my wife is cool!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Aw! Hey, do you think that Susan person is her lover?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, now I do!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I'm sorry.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Seven years. I mean we've been together seven years, she's the only woman who's ever loved me, and the only woman I've-I've ever....
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Aw, God Ross. Oh.(goes over and hugs him)
    • new scene
    • Scene 14

      Monica's, Chandler and Monica are still hugging each other.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Umm, this is nice.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I know, it is isn't it?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah! And I got it on sale, too.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, if you wanna get a drink later we can.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh yeah, that sounds great. (starts to leave) Oh, and listen, it's, it's gonna be....
    • monica
    • Monica
      I know. Thanks. (Chandler leaves)
    • new scene
    • Scene 15

      the bar, Phoebe is still hugging Ross.

    • ross
    • Ross
      Maybe this would've happened if I'd been more nurturing, or I'd paid more attention, or I... had a uterus. I can't believe this!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I know no, no, y'know you don't deserve this, you don't Ross. You're, you're really, you're so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Thanks.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      And you're so sweet. (kisses him on the other cheek) And you're kind (kisses him on the lips)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Thanks. (kisses her on the lips)
    • (They pause, and they the start kissing passionately, and taking off each others clothes, and they start to lie down on the pool table.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Huh?
    • (Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, it's okay.
    • (Phoebe jumps on to the table and lays down, Ross follows her and hits his head on the light hanging over the pool table.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh. (they start kissing again)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Wait, wait, wait.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What?
    • ross
    • Ross
      My foot is stuck in the pocket.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What?
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, I can't get it out.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, that's not something a girl wants to hear.
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, come on don't start. (they start kissing again) Ouch!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Stupid balls are in the way. (holds up two balls)
    • (They both look at each other and start laughing (Lisa almost lost it there), and sit up. Ross hits his head on the lamp again.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh well. It probably would've been the most constructive solution.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      You have chalk on your face.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Huh? (the rest of the gang enters)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, Ross you're right, I don't know why I always thought this was real grass.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey, are you okay?
    • ross
    • Ross
      My wife's a lesbian.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Cool!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ross-Joey, Joey-Ross. (they shake hands)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hi.
    • CLOSING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 16

      the bar, Chandler is playing pool, as Rachel enters.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I can't believe you came back.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Don't say anything. I don't wanna speak, I don't wanna think. I just want you to take me and kiss me and make love to me right here, right now.
    • (She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and It's That Time of Season starts to play, as they start to kiss.)
    • Friend No. 2
      Rachel! Rachel! (stirs Rachel from her dream, she's in her car driving back from the city)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?
    • Friend No. 2
      You missed the exit!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, sorry.
    • Friend No. 1
      My God, what were you thinking about?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Um, (shyly) Barry.
    • Her Friends
      Awwww!!
    • END