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  •  /  Friends  /  S05E13 The One With Joey's Bag


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Chandler's bedroom, he is giving Monica a massage.

    • monica
    • Monica
      I can't believe we've never done this before! It's sooo good! So good for Monica!
    • (Chandler picks up the timer being used and turns it to zero at which it chimes.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh! Look at that, time's up! My turn!
    • monica
    • Monica
      That was a half an hour?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      It's your timer.
    • (They change places.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Y'know, I don't like to brag about it, but I give the best massages!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      All right, then massage me up right nice!
    • (She starts the massage, only she is doing extremely hard and Chandler is gasping in pain.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ah! Ahh!! Ahh!!
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's so good, isn't it?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      It's so good I don't know what I've done to deserve it!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Say good-bye to sore muscles!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Good-bye muscles!!
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I just-I didn't know what it was!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Look, for the first time in my life I'm in a real relationship. Okay, I'm not gonna screw that up by y'know, telling the truth.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (walking up with Rachel and carrying coffee) Hey.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Sorry.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (examining the hat) And the bunny got away. (Turns and starts looking for the bunny as Joey puts the hat on.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      And you're gonna make them all disappear.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.
    • (Chandler picks up a basket from the table and puts it on his head.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Done.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Great! Thanks, Rach!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Sure! (Pause) God, please take those off!
    • joey
    • Joey
      All right.
    • (Both of them remove their hats as Phoebe enters.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey Pheebs, how's it going?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey! Umm, well, only okay because I just got back from, from the hospital.
    • (All at once.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Is everything okay?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Are you all right?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh yeah, no-no-no. I'm fine. I'm okay, but umm, my Grandma sorta died.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Pheebs! Sorry!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well maybe, maybe she's with us right now?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, her first day on a new spiritual plane and she's gonna come to the coffeehouse!
    • monica
    • Monica
      (entering, in a hurry) Guys! Guys! I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Uhh, Pheebs' Grandmother just died.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Ohh my God, I'm so sorry.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      It's okay. Actually y'know what, it's kinda cool. 'Cause it's like y'know, one life ends and another begins.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (to the guys) Not the way they're doing it. What, what happened? How did she die?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well umm, okay we were in the market and she bent down to get some yogurt and she just never came back up again.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Pheebs, I'm so sorry.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      Bloomingdale's, Rachel is fixing Joey up with some new clothes.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
    • joey
    • Joey
      All right, then you'd better show me some of that too then.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Really? A purse?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      It's not a purse! It's a shoulder bag.
    • joey
    • Joey
      It looks like a women's purse.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. (Shows him.) See look, men, carrying the bag.
    • joey
    • Joey
      See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Exactly! Unisex!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, I ain't gonna say no to that.
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.

    • Ursula
      Who is it?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      It's Phoebe.
    • Ursula
      Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in?
    • Ursula
      Umm, yeah-no thanks.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Umm, well, umm Grandma died.
    • Ursula
      Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, she just died today! Okay, umm, we're having a memorial service tomorrow.
    • Ursula
      Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No you didn't!
    • Ursula
      Well, then who's been dead for five years?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
    • Ursula
      Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So... I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Fine. Okay, enjoy your concert. (Starts to leave.)
    • Ursula
      Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.

    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey!
    • (As he walks past both Chandler and Ross notice the bag and stare at each other in shock.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Wow! You look just like your son Mrs. Tribbiani!
    • joey
    • Joey
      What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Your make-up!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, but sandwich time is right now. (Removes a sandwich and starts eating.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Why would I return it? I love this bag!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      All right, then you owe me $350.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (glaring at him) Joey...
    • joey
    • Joey
      All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What's the part, Anti-man?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hey, don't listen to them. I think it's sexy.
    • joey
    • Joey
      U-N-I-sexy? (Smiles provocatively.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      Phoebe's Grandmother's memorial, Phoebe is at the door welcoming people.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
    • (The gang arrives.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hi sweetie!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey, how are you holding up?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey Pheebs, I'm so sorry.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (notices his bag.) Hey, y'know what? My Grandma had the exact same bag!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Thanks!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Pulling flowers out it makes the bag look a lot more masculine.
    • (Another man, an older man, enters, looking around and bumps into Chandler.)
    • Man
      Oops, I'm sorry. Excuse me. Is this the umm, the memorial?
    • (The gang moves off as Phoebe greets the new guest.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, welcome.
    • Man
      Hello. Hello.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Umm here's your 3-D glasses.
    • Man
      Oh, umm, all right.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      So how did you know Francis?
    • Man
      Well I actually, I-I really, I haven't seen her for years. But umm, well I-I was pretty tight with-with her and her daughter.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Really?! What's your name?
    • Man
      Umm, Frank Buffay.
    • (Needless to say, Phoebe is stunned into silence. And one audience member gasps.)
    • Frank Sr.
      (Seeing the look on her face) Y'know what? Strike that. My name uh, actually is-is Joe. Uh, Joe umm, Hill.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      You're Frank Buffay?
    • Frank Sr.
      Shh! (Whispers) No! Joe Hill!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      You just said...
    • Frank Sr.
      Y'know what, I gotta go. And thank you so much for coming. (Hands back his glasses and hurries out.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      But...
    • (Phoebe takes one step after him and stops.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh my God!
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?! What honey?
    • ross
    • Ross
      What happened?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      That was my dad!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh my God!
    • (They all look down the hall he left from.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      The Funeral Home, continued from earlier. Phoebe is returning after looking for her father.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, did you catch him?!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Uh-huh.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Wh-what did he say?!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Why?! Why not?!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
    • joey
    • Joey
      What did you say to him?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, I said, I told him y'know, that I was the executor person of Francis' will and that I needed to talk to him so I'm gonna meet him at the coffee house later.
    • The Pastor
      Could everyone please take their seats?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      All right, well, I just can't think about that right now. I just wanna say good-bye to my Grandma.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay.
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right, let's go say good-bye.
    • (They put on their glasses and try to find their way to their seats.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      Monica and Rachel's, after the funeral, everyone is there.

    • joey
    • Joey
      (entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      And a date with a man!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Umm, no, not at first 'cause I-I don't want to freak him out
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, at least you scared someone.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Y'know it's funny, you'd think I'd be angry. I mean, you'd think I'd wanna rip his tiny little head off. Fortunately, I'm past it.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      All right.
    • (She goes over and tries to give Phoebe a massage. Phoebe yelps in pain and jumps away from her.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
    • monica
    • Monica
      What are you talking about?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
    • monica
    • Monica
      (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
    • monica
    • Monica
      No he's not!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (wincing) Yes, he is!
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I'm sorry but, ow-owww-owww!
    • monica
    • Monica
      You've been lying to me? I can't believe you'd do that.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, maybe he just didn't want to hurt your feelings.
    • monica
    • Monica
      But the minute we start to lie to each other... (Pauses after she realizes what she's saying.) And by 'we' I mean society.
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      Joey's audition, he is with bag.

    • The Casting Director
      Any time you're ready, Joey.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (reading from the script) Well, you must be new here. Why don't we get a table and I'll buy you a drink.
    • The Casting Director
      (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we should-I'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)
    • The Casting Director
      Sure. What?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, first it's not a purse.
    • The Casting Director
      Okay, anytime.
    • joey
    • Joey
      I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag!
    • The Casting Director
      Okayyyy! Anddd, go!
    • joey
    • Joey
      All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
    • The Casting Director
      Umm, do you sell these bags?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Noooo. No-no-no, these babies sell themselves.
    • The Casting Director
      Okay! Thank you! That was great!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah but I didn't read anything.
    • The Casting Director
      I think we've seen enough!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay! All right, I'll see ya. (As he's walking off stage.) (Patting the bag.) We got it! We got it!
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is poking his head in.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey, is Rachel here?
    • monica
    • Monica
      No.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (coming all the way in) Listen, I just wanted to apologize about this afternoon and the whole massage thing. Y'know? I-I really like 'em.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell me-just say, "I don't like your massages."
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (falling into that trap) I don't like your massages.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (starting to cry) See? It's no big deal.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, but now see you're crying!
    • monica
    • Monica
      I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      What?
    • monica
    • Monica
      (bursting into tears) My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, you give the worst massages in the world.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I'm crying here!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
    • monica
    • Monica
      So maybe they could umm, call the award the Monica?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Absolutely!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay. I suck!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah! (They hug.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Central Perk, Frank Sr. is just arriving.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
    • Frank Sr.
      Thank you. All right.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I just-I need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
    • Frank Sr.
      Oh yes. Yes, yes, I am, uh-hmm.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay.
    • Frank Sr.
      So, what did Francis leave me?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Huh?
    • Frank Sr.
      Well, that's why you wanted me to come, right?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh yes. Yes. Yeah-no. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
    • Frank Sr.
      Oh. Huh. It's huh, well it's (opens it) oh it's-ew used. Umm, cool.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
    • Frank Sr.
      Yes, yes I was.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, umm, question 2) Umm, did that marriage end A. Happily, B. Medium, or C. In the total abandonment of her and her two children?
    • Frank Sr.
      It really says that?!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah. See? (Quickly shows him.)
    • Frank Sr.
      Well then I guess then I-I would I would have to say C.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hmm, okay, total abandonment. Okay, reasons for abandonment, A. Top secret government work, B. Amnesia, or C. Or you're just a selfish, irresponsible bad, bad man?
    • Frank Sr.
      Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. (Gets up to leave.) But umm... Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please? (Hands her a note.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What?!
    • Frank Sr.
      Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      But you-you-you came to see Lilly?
    • Frank Sr.
      Yeah, yeah. Why?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
    • Frank Sr.
      She what?!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      She's dead.
    • Frank Sr.
      Are you sure?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, if she isn't then cremating her was a big mistake.
    • Frank Sr.
      I can't believe this. I just-I can't believe this. How-how-Oh my God. How long ago?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      17 years ago.
    • Frank Sr.
      Oh! What about, what about the girls?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
    • (Silence ensues.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!
    • Frank Sr.
      Phoebe, I-I-I-umm, (Sits down next to her and brushes against her leg.) Oops. (He backs up.) I just, I-I-I-I don't, I don't know what to say. I just can't believe that you're my daughter, you're so pretty.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yes. Well, that's neither here nor there.
    • Frank Sr.
      So would it, would it make you feel better if I said I was very, very sorry that I left?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Y'know what, it doesn't matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
    • Frank Sr.
      All right. Well, y'know in my defense I was a lousy father.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      That's a defense?
    • Frank Sr.
      Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      You make up songs?
    • Frank Sr.
      Well no, just-just that one. But, it was stupid. Let's see, how did it, how did it go. Umm. (Singing.)
    • Sleepy girl, sleepy girl.
    • Why won't you go to sleep?
    • Sleepy girl, sleepy girl.
    • You're, you're, you're keeping me uppp! (Yeah, that's to the tune of Smelly Cat.)
    • Yeah.
    • (Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
    • Frank Sr.
      I just, I y'know, I'm not very good at this. So, umm... (Backs away.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)
    • (She holds his hand for a little while then...)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Not yet, no. (Drops his hand and moves back.)
    • CLOSING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 12

      Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.

    • joey
    • Joey
      (dejected) Hi.
    • Everyone
      Hey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey man, how did the audition go?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Estelle said I didn't get it. (Sits down next to Rachel on the couch.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?! Why? Joey you were so ready for it!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, I thought so too but, she said the casting people had some problems with me.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What kind of problem?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh my God!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Nooooo!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Y'know what? It was a stupid play anyway!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
    • joey
    • Joey
      I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Honey wait, Joey, I'm sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it... (Looks for help.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, hey! (Ross nods in agreement as well.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      ...I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
    • joey
    • Joey
      I can't believe I'm hearing this!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldn't have a bag, I just-it's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah umm, they're called wallets.
    • END