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  •  /  Friends  /  S06E07 The One Where Phoebe Runs


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Phoebe and Rachel's new apartment, Rachel and Phoebe are making their answering machine message.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Ready?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hi...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      it's...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Rachel...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      and...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Phoebe's...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      please...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      leave...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      leave...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Wait, I-I just said "leave."
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, I know because you have all the good words. What do I get? I get "it's," "and" oh I'm sorry, I have "A." Forget it.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Phoebe, come on that's silly.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      All right, so let's switch.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No, I have all of the good words. OK, fine, fine, we can switch.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hi...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Everybody...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      It's...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Rachel...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      and...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Phoebe's...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Please...wait, how did you do that?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, you're no ordinary roommate are you?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Really?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, it'll be fun. We'll run in the park. It'll be like our first y'know roommate bonding thing.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, let's go running!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah and there's really cute guys there.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Let's run towards them!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      OK!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      All right, wait just one more second. Hi, it's Phoebe and Rachel's. Please leave a message, thanks!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Now wait a minute. You just took all the words!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Uh-huh. You've met your match Rachel Green.
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Monica and Chandler's new apartment, Ross and Chandler are there.

    • ross
    • Ross
      So, I just finished this fascinating book. By the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same amount of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically you could download your thoughts and memories into this computer and-and-and live forever as a machine.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (not amused) And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open.
    • [Monica enters]
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey!
    • monica
    • Monica
      (jumps over a box) Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I didn't nail the boxes to the floor.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, So you can move them!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.
    • [Joey enters with his new roommate who is played by none other than Elle MacPherson.]
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey everybody! Uh, I'd like you to meet Janine. She's-she's gonna be my new roommate!
    • Janine
      Hi.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hi! (Rushes over to shake her hand instantly.)
    • Janine
      Hi
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, she's gonna live with me!
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's nice to meet you. Janine...?
    • Janine
      Lecroix. Janine Lecroix
    • joey
    • Joey
      I didn't know that! Well, what a pretty last name!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So, uh, wh-where ya from?
    • Janine
      Australia, I just moved here a couple of weeks ago.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (shocked) From the land down under? I didn't know that either!
    • ross
    • Ross
      So uh, wha-uh, what do you do?
    • Janine
      I'm a dancer.
    • joey
    • Joey
      You're a dancer? She-she's a dancer!
    • Janine
      Well, I think I'll go and unpack.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, hey let me. (Opens the door for Janine and after he closes the door behind her gasps ecstatically.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Of course I did.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Uh-huh, what exactly did you ask her?
    • joey
    • Joey
      "When can you move in?"
    • ross
    • Ross
      Thank you for bringing her into our lives.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Unbelievable
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, so you like her too Chandler?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey, look at all the boxes!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Ugh, I cannot wait to ask her out!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Wait a minute...Joey. Joey you can't ask her out, she's your roommate. It-it'll be way too complicated.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, yeah man don't do it. I mean if you date her, then-then-then I can't date her.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      All right, think about it. Now remember when you were going out with that girl Donna and you guys broke up. Remember how horrible it was when you guys bumped into each other at the supermarket?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh God, yeah.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Now imagine you live at the supermarket.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (happily) Okay!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No-no
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, Oh, you're right! I don't want that. I can't date her!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah and you better watch the flirting too, cause you know, in such close quarters, it could be trouble.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (chuckles) Hmm, well you're around me all the time and you don't flirt.
    • joey
    • Joey
      You a little sad about that sweetheart?
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      The Park: Phoebe and Rachel are getting ready to go running

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I have to tie my shoe, so you go ahead, I'll catch up.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay. (Runs off.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay. (Starts running crazily with her arms flapping and her legs far apart) Come on! That's not running! Let's go! (Rachel pauses, then follows, embarrassed.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      Central Perk: Rachel, Ross and Monica are there

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You guys, I'm telling you, when she runs, she looks like a cross between Kermit The Frog and The Six Million Dollar Man.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Monica had such a crush on him. Yeah, she used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh! I used to do that too!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Did you also have his album, It's Not Easy Being Green?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Aw, Mon...(Kisses her on the cheek)
    • monica
    • Monica
      So, Phoebe runs weird huh?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, yeah and you know what, I know she's gonna wanna run again, I just don't know how to get out of it, I mean, I live with her.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Why don't you just be straight with her? Tell her the truth.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You're right, you're right. I should just tell her the truth.
    • [Phoebe enters]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Pheebs, Monica tripped me, I don't think I can ever run again, ever!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Why? Why would you do that?
    • monica
    • Monica
      I don't know. Rachel I'm-I'm sorry that I hurt your ankles.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ankle.
    • monica
    • Monica
      We'll see.
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      Monica and Chandler's new apartment, Chandler is putting something away under the sink.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      OK, I'm officially unpacked. Thanks for helping me man. (Turns around and sees that Joey isn't there.) Joe? (Hears giggling coming from a box) Well, I guess Joey went home. Oh and look, there's still one box that I have to unpack. (Hears the giggling again)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (jumps out of the box) I Gotcha!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (pretending) Oh my God! You-almost-gave-me-a-heart-attack.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Boy, it was so hard not to laugh, I tell ya. Hey, hey, the place looks great!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, not bad right? You know what, Monica's gonna be working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless. You know what else I'm gonna do, know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers. Now who wouldn't wanna live with me?
    • joey
    • Joey
      (raises his hand) I don't! No, I wanna live with the super-hot Australian dancer.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, now how's that going though? Are you okay with the not-flirting thing?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah. Well, so far yeah. But it's tough you know? I got all this built up flirting energy and I don't know how to get rid of it. (Gives Chandler the "Joey-love," look.) How you doin?
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      Joey and Janine's new apartment, Janine is there. Joey walks in to see Janine bent over, stretching.

    • joey
    • Joey
      (voice cracking) Ohhhh man
    • Janine
      Sorry, there's just more room out here.
    • joey
    • Joey
      No-no-no-no-no, it's-it's uh, you just uh, uh reminded me that uh, I need to do my stretches too. (Starts to stretch, groans painfully)
    • Janine
      (touches his waist) Why don't you try to do-
    • joey
    • Joey
      (jumps up and yells)
    • Janine
      What's wrong?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Uh-uh nothing. I-I-I-I didn't want you to touch me cause I'm -I'm all sweaty from the workout. I better hit the shower. (Goes into the bathroom and comes back out quickly) Oh my God!
    • Janine
      Oh, sorry about that stuff hanging in there. It's just my thongs are too delicate for the dryer.
    • (Joey laughs nervously and goes to his bedroom.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      The Park, Rachel is running and Phoebe is hiding behind a tree.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (jumps in front of Rachel) Hi! Oh yeah, uh-huh, it's me. I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out. You lied so you could run by yourself.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No, no Phoebe no, I was...no. You know what, I was, I was actually just checking to, see, if I could run. And I can!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Please Rachel, I am not an idiot. (Runs off)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No, wait Phoebe.
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there. Everything is out of its place and Chandler's cleaning.

    • ross
    • Ross
      (enters) Wow, couples who live together do start to look alike. So, Mondler...uh, what uh, what 'cha doin?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      What does it look like I'm doing? I am cleaning!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Did you get Monica's authorization to move all of her stuff?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Authorization? I don't need that. I'm gonna put everything back.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Put it back exactly where you found it?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yes I'm gonna put it back (Mocking Ross) exactly where I found it.
    • ross
    • Ross
      'Kay, first of all, this attitude is not helping.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Whoa, hello, did you just meet Monica?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      She is gonna recognize that I did a nice thing and-and, appreciate it.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I see, I see, y-y-you're trying to freak me out.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak...out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No, she's not okay? And I'll prove it to you. I'm gonna call her right now. (Picks up the phone and wipes it off) Phone's done ehh.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (on phone) Hi!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey Mon, how's it going?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Terrible. If-if I want something done right, I have to do it myself. Other people just wreck stuff. I really think I might kill someone tonight.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh come on, come on, it can't be that bad.
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's worse. The only thing that's getting me through is knowing that I'm gonna be seeing you soon. I think I may even try to get out of here early.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No! No-no-no-no-no-no. It sounds like they really need you down there.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, are you just hanging out with Ross?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      It's, all good! Okay bye-bye Mon! (To Ross) She's-she's gonna kill me.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, the phone was facing the other way. (Chandler fixes it and a picture frame off the table.) And that goes back up there.
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      Monica and Chandler's, continued from earlier.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      We should start with the big stuff. Y'know? That'll be the easiest. Uh, let's start with the couch. (He picks up one end and Ross doesn't help) I got it. (He moves it back to where he thinks it goes.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah that-that, doesn't look right.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Whoa, whoa, but then the back of the couch won't line up with he back of the carpet.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      OK well here, we'll just move the coffee table closer to the couch.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, but then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yes, but the coffee table doesn't match the...blahebdmsdlkhdyslkd;btyds...Rooosss!!!!
    • joey
    • Joey
      (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey, I've been married 3 times
    • (Chandler gives him a round of mock applause.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      No-no-no I've seen it happen, you-you get a rapport going with a woman but somehow you manage to kill it. What's your secret?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Look, we do not repel women OK? That is completely untrue.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh no, yes we do my man. Remember when we were back in college and we went to that spring dance and you walked right up to that girl you liked and you could not stop talking about the Irish potato famine?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, well what about you? You weren't you know, so hot in college either. After everything he said, he'd go "ba dum bum chessh"
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, Monica doesn't like that either, Maybe I should stop doing that.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh y'know what, girls don't like it when I start talking about science.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That's not specific to girls.
    • joey
    • Joey
      This is great, this is great, what else, what else?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Uh, they don't like it when you correct their grammar.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      And they don't like it when you explain why your jokes are funny.
    • ross
    • Ross
      They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Man, I'm so lucky I have Monica.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (nonchalantly) I'm never gonna find love again.
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      Phoebe and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Phoebe enters.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hey Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Sure
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, um, I...(Phoebe walks into her room.) All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      So, what should you have done?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, I-I should've told you the truth.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Uh-Huh, Which is...?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, y'know, the reason I didn't wanna go running with you is because um, well y'know the way that you run is a little...(Starts flapping her arms)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      So?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, it's embarrassing. People were looking at us like we were crazy.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Why do you care?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Because they're people.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      But people that you don't know and will never see again.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yes, but still. They're people...with eyes.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss (panting). But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I-I am not uptight-Hey-hey-hey-oh-oh! Listen, I am not uptight, man.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      That's okay Rachel. I'm not judging you; that's just who you are. Me. I'm more free y'know? I run like I did when I was a kid, cause that's the only way it's fun. Y'know, I mean didn't you ever run so fast you thought your legs were gonna fall off? Y'know, like when you were like running towards the swings or running away from Satan? (Rachel looks confused) The neighbor's dog.
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has the tape measure out and is busy lining up the lamp on the kitchen counter, Ross is supervising the whole operation.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, is this lamp in the same place?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Who cares? I repel women.
    • [Monica tries to come in]
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (blocks the door) No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no!!! You can't come in here! R-r-r-r-Ross is naked.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (whispers) What?!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (to Ross) I couldn't say that I was naked because she's allowed too see me naked.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Why does anyone have to be naked?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Why is Ross naked?
    • ross
    • Ross
      I-I had to show Chandler something?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Naked?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah-yeah I uh, I have a uh, a guy problem.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Is it the same thing that Chandler had?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Look, uh, just come later, we'll get everything squared away and you can come back later.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, listen, there's still some of Chandler's medicine under the sink in the bathroom. Bye!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Bye! Thank God
    • ross
    • Ross
      Dude, what'd you have?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Look, we have no time okay? We must focus. We gotta get everything back into its original place.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (realizes something) The photo album! There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album. We just go through it and match everything to the pictures.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That's perfect! That's brilliant! (Starts going through the photo album)
    • ross
    • Ross
      So really, what'd ya have?
    • new scene
    • Scene 12

      Joey and Janine's, Janine's there. Joey enters

    • Janine
      Hey Joey, I got some beer for you.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Uh, don't you mean "for whom?"
    • Janine
      Sure, listen I was gonna order some pizza, you wanna share one?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Pizza, heh, its not like I never had that before...ba dum bum cheshhh.
    • Janine
      Is there something wrong?
    • joey
    • Joey
      All right, All right, let's just get this out in the open okay? You're hot. I'm lovable. Clearly there's a vibe going on between us. But, we're roommates and it's a huge mistake for us to continue down this road.
    • Janine
      Joey...
    • joey
    • Joey
      No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do?
    • Janine
      Well, I don't think there is anything to do. I mean I think you're really sweet, but I'm just not interested in you like that.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh!
    • Janine
      No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
    • Janine
      I don't think so.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, I do. (Gives her the Joey-love look.) How you doin?
    • Janine
      I'm OK
    • joey
    • Joey
      What?!?!
    • Janine
      What?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh dear God!
    • new scene
    • Scene 13

      The park, Rachel's running by herself and panting. After a little while she decides to run like Phoebe.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (Runs into Phoebe.) Hey!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh honey, I'm so sorry, you were right, this feels great!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      See? And you don't care if people are staring, it's just for a second cause then you're gone!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Gone! I mean its amazing Pheebs. I feel so free and so graceful. (Turns and bumps into a mounted policeman and falls) Hey! Look out for the horse! Sorry! (Runs off.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 14

      Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Ross are there. Monica enters

    • monica
    • Monica
      Is it okay for me to come in now?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Uh-huh
    • monica
    • Monica
      Why is everything different?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Bye! (Runs out)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No, I don't see anything different other than the fact that the room got so much brighter when you came into it. (Forced laughter)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, the end table is wrong, The couch looks bizarre and don't even get me started on the refrigerator magnets.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay look, don't...don't be mad okay? But after I unpacked the boxes I wanted to do something nice for you, so, I-I-I cleaned the apartment. So I moved everything around and then I forgot where it, where it went back and I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's okay. Chandler, are you afraid of me or something?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Do you want me to be afraid of you?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Of course not. I mean gosh, Chandler what you did, it's, it's a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place, but I'd never expect you to worry about that.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Really?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Of course!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh well you're the best. You come here to me.
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right, hold on okay? First thing's first. (Gets her cleaning gloves on) Okay, now did Ross sit anywhere while he was naked?
    • CLOSING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 15

      Central Perk, Ross, Janine and Chandler are there

    • ross
    • Ross
      So it said that by the year 2030, there'll be computers that can carry out the same number of functions as an actual human brain. So theoretically we could download our thoughts and our memories into this computer...
    • Janine
      ...and live forever as a machine!
    • ross
    • Ross
      That's so Janine, you-you-you know what, do you know we're doing right now? You and I, we're interfacing.
    • Janine
      Yeah, I gotta go.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ba dum bumb cheshhh!
    • END