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  •  /  Friends  /  S03E20 The One With The Dollhouse


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Wait a minute, wait. You're telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didn't want you back?!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what it's like to be you?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Wow, you're really crazy about her, huh?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, you have no idea. And-and when we're on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and it's like somebody's ripping out my heart!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, it's so great to see you feeling like this!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (entering) Hey!
    • Everyone
      Hey!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Monica, uh Dad called this morning and ah, Aunt Silvia passed away.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yes!! Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
    • ross
    • Ross
      We were all pretty shaken up about it.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Wait, am I missing something though? 'Cause I thought death was something that's supposed to be sad, in a way.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And I'm sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
    • ross
    • Ross
      You get the dollhouse.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I get the dollhouse!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Uh, Pheebs, you had a barrel for a dollhouse?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, just a barrel.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Y'know what, you can play with my dollhouse.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Really?! Really?!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Any time you want. Y'know, when I was younger, all I wanted to do was to play with this dollhouse, but no!! It was to be looked at, but never played with.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      My Grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me.
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Rachel's office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hey, Sophie!
    • Sophie
      Hey, Rach!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey.
    • Sophie
      Hey.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didn't have to walk me all the way back up here.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, that's-that's okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Honey um, honey, you do realise that we don't keep the women's lingerie here in the office?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yes, I realise that.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Summer catalogue! (hands him the catalogue)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That's the stuff! (quickly grabs it)
    • [Rachel's boss, Joanna, enters]
    • Joanna
      Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You don't work for me.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
    • Joanna
      Bing! That's a great name.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Thanks, it's ah, Gaelic, for 'Thy turkey's done.' So ah, I'm gonna go, nice, nice meeting you.
    • Joanna
      Me too.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Bye, Chandler.
    • Joanna
      (to Rachel) So ah, what's wrong with him?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, nothing, he's just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore.
    • Joanna
      Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No!! No! He's not married, or involved, with anyone!
    • Joanna
      Oh, Rachel, (pause) actually, y'know what, forget it.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, I'll ask him for you, if you want me too?
    • Joanna
      Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
    • Sophie
      Uh, uh, uh, I am here.
    • Joanna
      I know that.
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. It's a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Look at it! Ohhh! Wallpaper's a little faded, that's okay. Carpet's a little loose. Hardwood floors!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (entering) Hey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hello.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh! Ooh! Oh Monica! It's so beautiful.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I know!!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      So, I'm here, ready to play.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      What's this?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      That's a dog, every house should have a dog.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Not one that can pee on the roof.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, maybe it's so big because the house was built on radioactive waste.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (holding a tissue) And is this in case the house sneezes?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, no, that's the ghost for the attic.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I don't want a ghost.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, nobody wants a ghost. But you've got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Wait a minute, the house was built on radioactive waste, and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, obviously you don't know much about the U.S. government.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (entering) Hey!
    • Everyone
      Hello.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I need to talk to you!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Sure, what's up?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, sorry. I meant Chandler.
    • ross
    • Ross
      I-I know. Well if something comes up... (walks away)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, I'm glad you guys are past that little awkward phase.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, my boss, Joanna, when you left, she started asking questions about you...
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh-ho, liked what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checkin' out the Chan-Chan man!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, she seemed cool, attractive. I'll do it.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, she's gonna love me.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.) Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-that's it, that's it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? They're not the right size, they're not Victorian, and they just don't go.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, (starts to pack up her stuff) fine. Come dinosaur, we're not welcome in the house of no imagination.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Uh, Pheebs, while we're hovering around the subject. I just have to say dinosaurs, they-they don't go, rrroof!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      The little ones do.
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      The Theatre, Joey and Kate are getting ready to rehearse the play.

    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, Kate!
    • Kate
      Morning.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Listen, I ah, went to that restaurant that you were talking about last week...
    • The Director
      Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (to himself) And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was good, yeah...
    • Woman
      Hi, oh, I'm Lauren, Kate's understudy.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, hey! Joey Tribbiani.
    • Lauren
      I know! I-I'm a big fan of yours.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (looks at her, shocked) What?!
    • Lauren
      I used to umm, schedule my classes so I could watch Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Get out of here, really?!
    • Lauren
      Absolutely!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah?
    • Lauren
      Oh but then, they went and dropped you down that elevator shaft.
    • joey
    • Joey
      They gave me the shaft all right.
    • Lauren
      (laughing) Oh, you're so funny. Listen, umm, what are you doing after rehearsals? Do you want to get a drink, or something?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
    • Lauren
      Cool! I-I'll see you then.
    • joey
    • Joey
      All right.
    • The Director
      All right, it's time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with her own dollhouse, that she made herself.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey!
    • Everyone
      Hey!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Look everybody, look at my new dollhouse!!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Wow!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Look, look! (She lifts up the roof, and the front panel falls revealing the interior.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey, what's this?!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, okay, it's the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. (She slides a doll down the slide)
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's very interesting, Phoebe.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What's this?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed.
    • ross
    • Ross
      This is the coolest house ever!!
    • (Monica is looking on with a hurt expression on her face.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey, does anybody want to join me in the aroma room? (lights some incense)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      All right!
    • ross
    • Ross
      I would!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey, guys, guys, did you see my new, china cabinet?!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Uh-huh.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Watch, watch. (She turns a strand of Christmas lights strung around the house.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ooohhhh!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ahhhh!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (entering) Hey, my Father's house does that!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and there's nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hmm.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Of course, I didn't get to enjoy any of that, because Joanna's such a big, dull dud!
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      Rachel's office, Joanna's telling Rachel, her side of the story.

    • Joanna
      Chandler is fantastic!!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?!
    • Joanna
      Oh God, we just clicked! Y'know how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, I....
    • Joanna
      Oh, and he's got such a good heart! Doesn't he have a good heart?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, I know...
    • Joanna
      Oh, I know and he's soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
    • Sophie
      Isn't this great?!
    • Joanna
      Don't spoil it.
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing.

    • joey
    • Joey
      Come on baby, don't go. Please? What do you say?
    • [A phone rings.]
    • The Director
      (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! It's you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (to Kate) That guy's like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
    • Kate
      He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater you're dating.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, I'm not interested in her sweater! It's what's underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who I'm going out with?
    • Kate
      I don't care. Why, do you want me to care?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Do you want me to want you to care?
    • Kate
      Do you?
    • joey
    • Joey
      What?
    • The Director
      (returning) Okay, I'm afraid to say this, but let's pick it up where we left off.
    • [They resume rehearsing.]
    • joey
    • Joey
      Come on baby, don't go. Please? What do you say?
    • Kate
      I've got no reason to stay.
    • (Joey grabs her and kisses her.)
    • The Director
      Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! I'll see you in the morning. (exits)
    • Kate
      I can't believe we go on in, in a week.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey, it's gonna be all right.
    • Lauren
      (to Joey) Hey! So since we're getting off early, do you want to go and paint mugs?
    • joey
    • Joey
      What?
    • Lauren
      You know! At the place I told you about last night?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
    • Lauren
      Oh, okay.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay. (he gives her a peck on the cheek)
    • Lauren
      I'll see you tomorrow. (she kisses him full on the mouth.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay.
    • Lauren
      G'night. (exits)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (to Kate) Ah, are you okay?
    • Kate
      Yeah, I guess. Look, what are we gonna do about this scene, huh?
    • joey
    • Joey
      I don't know.
    • Kate
      Well umm, maybe if it had more heat.
    • joey
    • Joey
      How do you mean?
    • Kate
      Well, Adrian's looking for a reason to stay, right? Victor can't just kiss her, he's gotta, gotta really give her a reason, y'know?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Maybe he could slip her the tongue.
    • Kate
      Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, yeah, and then Adrian, she maybe she could wrap her legs around his waist.
    • Kate
      And then she could rip off his shirt and kiss his chest, and, and his stomach!
    • joey
    • Joey
      And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and, and, and bite her!
    • Kate
      And then right, right when the scene ends, he could take her with this raw, animal....
    • [cut to Joey's bedroom, Joey and Kate are emerging from under the covers.]
    • joey
    • Joey
      Something like that?
    • Kate
      Yeah, that's pretty much what I had in mind.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah.
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are eating breakfast as Joey enters, very happily.

    • joey
    • Joey
      (to Ross) Hey.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hi.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (to Monica) Hey.
    • (He walks up behind Monica and gives her a big hug and a kiss on the neck.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hi.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey.
    • (He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      It's a little early to be drinkin'.
    • joey
    • Joey
      No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ohhhhh!
    • monica
    • Monica
      You're kidding?! That's great!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, it was so amazing. After the (pause) love making...
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh my.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming 'cause, 'cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like he's been processed by the devil, or something.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (entering with Rachel) I'm telling ya, Joanna's got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, 'This was fun. Let's do it again sometime. I'll give you a call.'
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks you're going to call her?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That's what you say at the end of a date.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You can't just say, 'Nice to meet you, good night?'
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      To her face? Look it's the end of the date, I'm standing there, I know all she's waiting for is for me to say 'I'll call her' and it's just y'know, comes out. I can't help it, it's a compulsion.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Come on Rach, when a guy says he's going to call, it doesn't mean he's going to call. Hasn't it ever happened to you?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, they always called.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hmm, bite me.
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      Rachel's office.

    • Joanna
      (entering) Did he call?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No. Sorry.
    • Joanna
      Why?! Why?! He said he'd call. Why hasn't he called?
    • Sophie
      Maybe he's intimated by really smart, strong, successful women.
    • Joanna
      Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasn't he called, Rachel? Why?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, okay. Umm, well ah, maybe he, maybe he feels awkward because you are my boss.
    • Joanna
      Awkward? Why should he feel awkward?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well...
    • Joanna
      The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didn't tell him not to call me, did you?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No. I...
    • Joanna
      Because if you feel uncomfortable with your friend dating someone you work for, there are always ways to fix...that.
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (grabbing the magazine out of his hands) Call her! Call her now!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Multiple, so many paper cuts.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Why hasn't he called Rachel? Why? Why? I don't understand. Why? He said he'll call. Why? Why? Chandler I'm telling you she has flipped out, she's gone crazy!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (sarcastic) Oh, well give me the phone then.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Come on, this isn't funny. She thinks it's my fault that you haven't called her. You have to call her!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Look, you can't call somebody after this long just to say, 'In case you didn't notice, I don't like you!'
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well then you're going to have to take her out again.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Nooo!! She's really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I don't care! I don't care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows it's actually ended. And, I don't care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      All right! Fine! But it's just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I don't want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      That's fine!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That's just a lot of big talk, y'know.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I know.
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.

    • ross
    • Ross
      Mon?
    • monica
    • Monica
      (from the bathroom) I'm in the shower!
    • [He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell something and turns around to see Phoebe's dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh, fire! There, there's a fire! Fire!!
    • [He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesn't work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesn't work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
    • new scene
    • Scene 12

      The Theatre, Kate is arriving for rehearsal.

    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey.
    • Kate
      Hi.
    • joey
    • Joey
      So I ah, talked to Lauren, kinda told her how things were with us. Did you ah, did you talk to Marshall?
    • Kate
      About what?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Y'know, about what happened with us.
    • Kate
      Nooo. And there's really no reason he should find out, so ah let's not make a big deal about it, okay?
    • joey
    • Joey
      What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you can't tell me last night didn't mean something to you. I-I was there, you're not that good an actress.
    • Kate
      Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. That's all it was. Joey, I'm-I'm sorry you feel bad, but haven't you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Nooo.
    • Lauren
      (entering) Hi, Kate!
    • Kate
      Hi, Lauren.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hi, Lauren.
    • Lauren
      Hi, pig!
    • new scene
    • Scene 13

      Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.

    • ross
    • Ross
      Sorry I ah, I scared you in there.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, that's okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (entering) Hey!
    • monica
    • Monica
      (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. There's....been a fire.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What?! Oh my... (sees the remains of the house) Oh my God!! What happened?!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      All right. Did everyone get out okay?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, the giraffe's okay. And so is the pirate.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      No Phoebe, don't look! You don't want to see what's under there!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the Foster puppets!
    • (She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 14

      Rachel's office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      It's not a big deal. It's, just it's right here, (points to his eye) and it's all the time.
    • Joanna
      Well, thanks again for lunch.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (He looks over at Rachel, who nods her head) Yes, this, this was pleasant.
    • (Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
    • Joanna
      It was, wasn't it?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      The food there was, was great.
    • Joanna
      Wasn't it?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So take care.
    • Joanna
      You too.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, this was great. I'll give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
    • Joanna
      Great! I'm looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Sophie's desk.
    • (Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (whispering) Chandler!! Are you gonna call her!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Noo!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Chandler!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Look, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm weak, and pathetic, and sorry.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, you are going to tell her and you're going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ahhhh-I'm not going to call you.
    • Joanna
      What?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I'm sorry. I'm-I'm-I'm sorry that I said I was going to when I'm not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isn't Rachel's fault. It's me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And I'm really sorry, it's just that this is not, this isn't going to work out.
    • Joanna
      Well, this isn't how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, o-okay.
    • Joanna
      So...
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well this is great! I'll give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
    • (Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)
    • CLOSING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 15

      Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.

    • joey
    • Joey
      (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what I'm saying is I should've considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. I've ah, I've recently learned what's it like to be on your side of it, and I'm sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, she's not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
    • END