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  •  /  Friends  /  S03E17 The One Without The Ski Trip


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch reading.

    • joey
    • Joey
      Can I see the comics?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      This is the New York Times.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay, may I see the comics?
    • [Monica and Phoebe enter.]
    • monica
    • Monica
      Guys. I thought you were taking Ross to the game?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      We are. He's meeting us here.
    • monica
    • Monica
      No! Rachel is meeting us here.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh come on, they can be in the same room.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, you shoulda been there last night.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Why? What happened now?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well Ross was hangin' out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah y-you, how hard is it to say something? Rachel came over to borrow something.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Anyway! Her and Ross just started yelling at each other.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Wait. Why was he yelling at her? He's the one who slept with someone else.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, I guess he says that because they were on a break when it happened, that she should of forgiven him by now.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Whoa!! He is soo unreasonable! God, although I think I understand what he means. Oh my God, this is like 60 Minutes, okay, when, when, at first you're really mad at that pharmaceutical company for making the drug and then y'know you just feel bad for the people because they needed to make their hair grow.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesn't try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Y'know I had a dream where Ross and Rachel were still together, they never broke up. And we were all just like hanging out, and everyone was happy....
    • joey
    • Joey
      I had the same dream!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, I had the opposite dream.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Y'know what maybe it's gonna be okay, I mean it's been a week.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, I mean it's never taken me a week to get over a relationship.
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship.
    • [Rachel enters.]
    • monica
    • Monica
      (seeing her) Okay, let's go!! Let's hit the road!!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hey!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Let's get the show on it!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, let me just get a cup of coffee.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and it's sooo close.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Closer than here?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (turning around and picking a cup off of a table) Oh, hey, look, I found coffee! (handing her the cup) Okay, let's skedaddle.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Wait, I'm not just gonna drink somebody's old coffee.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, your highness.
    • [Ross enters behind Rachel, and look at each other for a moment.]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (in a deep voice, imitating Ross) Um, Rachel I'm really sorry. (imitating Rachel) That's okay, do you wanna get back together? (imitating Ross) Yeah, okay. (in her normal voice) Did anyone else hear that?!
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Chandler and Joey's, the whole gang is there, except for Ross and Rachel. Joey is trying to eat Chinese with chopsticks and fails miserably. There's a knock on the door, and Chandler answers it to reveal Rachel

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (softly) Is he here?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh. (smiles) Here's your moisturiser. Hi!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (they're all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yes, yes, it's just that we ah, we kinda all ready, made plans with Ross.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, well okay. Well, there you go.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, it's just that he got this new like home theater dealie, and he wants y'know, us to check it out.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hm-mm.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, he's really excited about it too, he even recorded show times on his answering machine.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ohh!
    • monica
    • Monica
      We're sorry honey.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, it's okay. (starts to leave)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Rach, it's, it's ah, it's not that we don't want to, really. (quietly) Are we talking models in their underwear?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      And heels.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths 'Come on!') (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No, hey, come on, if he asked you first, that's only fair. (leaves)
    • [Chandler makes a noise of absolute disgust and heads into the living room.]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Ohhh boy, do I feel bad.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh yeah.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Very bad.
    • [We see Chandler lighting up a cigarette.]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Chandler what are you doing?!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Chandler!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (jumps back and points at the cigarette) Oh my God!
    • joey
    • Joey
      You're smoking again?!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm, I'm smoking still.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Why would you start again after chewing all that quitting gum?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Look, I'm telling you this is just like my parents divorce, which is when I started smoking in the first place.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Weren't you nine?!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeahhh. I'm tellin' ya something, that ah, first smoke after nap time....
    • [There's a knock on the door.]
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh that's great, with my luck, that's gonna be him.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Him? Him, Ross?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Nope, hymn 253, His Eyes Are On The Sparrow! When my parents got divorced is when I started using humour as a defence mechanism. (answers the door and it's Rachel again.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hi! Uhh, do you guys have plans for the weekend? Because I have my sister on hold, and she said that we could use her cabin for the weekend and go skiing. Huh? I'm asking you first, right?!. I mean I'm playing by the rules.
    • Everyone
      Absolutely, yeah!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Chandler! You're smoking? What are you doing?!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey, shut up!! You're not my real Mom!!
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      Ross's, the gang, minus Rachel of course, is there. Chandler is forced to smoke by an open window.

    • joey
    • Joey
      (obviously cold) Hey, can you close that window Chandler? My nipples can cut glass over here!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Wait. Really?! 'Cause mine get me out of tickets.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. It's been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Can somebody else hug him? I have to stay by the window.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh hey, hey, huh, how about this weekend we have a laser disc marathon okay, and maybe a tournament on my new dart board? Huh, huh, what do you think? (in an Irish accent) Two days of darts, it'll be great!
    • joey
    • Joey
      It'll be great for next weekend.
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, no, no, this weekend guys!
    • joey
    • Joey
      It'll be great for next weekend. I mean, (in an Irish accent) it'll be grrreat.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What's going on?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, we were um, sorta invited to go skiing, y'know Rachel's sister's cabin. (Chandler goes back to the window to smoke again.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      So, for the whole weekend?
    • monica
    • Monica
      We're really sorry, but um, she did ask us first.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, that's okay, I mean if you guys all have to go away for the first weekend I'm alone by myself, y'know then I totally, totally understand.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Y'know what, I can stay, I'm gonna stay. 'Cause the last time I went skiing I was to afraid to jump off the chair lift, I just went around and around.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmother's cab, but y'know what, I'll stay.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Noo! I'll stay. He's my brother.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What a pity stay?
    • monica
    • Monica
      No! We're gonna have fun. We can make fudge!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Pity food? Y'know what that's okay, all right, I don't need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, then, I might as well offer to stay.
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      In Phoebe's Grandmother's cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebe's driving, Rachel's sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.

    • joey
    • Joey
      (to Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Why? Do you think he's still mad at us?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (to Joey) Well he's probably mad after you called him this morning to borrow his goggles.
    • joey
    • Joey
      What? Mine aren't tinted.
    • [Chandler starts to light a cigarette.]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Chandler!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      What?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What does the sign say?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Beam me up Jesus.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, the 'No Smoking' sign. There's no smoking in my Grandmother's cab.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom.
    • Everyone
      Oh!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Please!
    • monica
    • Monica
      No Chandler no! No unscheduled stops. You can go when we stop for gas.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, come on, there's a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, now I have to go!!
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      The rest stop, Phoebe's pulling in.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Here we go. Okay, brace yourselves.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?
    • [Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesn't and gets thrown up against the glass.]
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Ow!
    • [Joey gets out and sprints to the bathroom and Chandler follows with a cigarette in his hands.]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (to Rachel, who's staying in the cab.) Aren't you gonna go?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No. Thank you.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (getting out) No, Rachel never pees in public restrooms.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is 'no tissue, no tuschy.' (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybody's going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, y'know what don't close it (Rachel slams the door shut locking themselves out.) 'cause the... keys...are in there.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, no-no-no-no-no-no!!
    • joey
    • Joey
      What's going on?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (to Joey) My lighter's in there! (points to the cab)
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      The rest stop, the gang is still stuck, Chandler is kneeling at the rear bumper.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Damn! (stands up) The tailpipe's not hot enough to light this!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Relax okay, I-I-I can get this open. Anybody have a coat hanger?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh I do! Op, no, wait a minute, I took it out of my shirt when I put it on this morning.
    • monica
    • Monica
      So, if you're parents hadn't got divorced, you'd be able to answer a question like a normal person?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Look, I just need a wire something to jimmy it. Oh hey, one of you guys give me the underwire from your bra!
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Come on! Who has the biggest boobs?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Please!!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Whoever has the biggest boobs, has the biggest bra, therefore has the biggest wire.
    • The Girls
      No, not getting my bra!
    • joey
    • Joey
      If you wanna get back in the car, we need the wire, your call.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, Monica's are the biggest.
    • monica
    • Monica
      These tiny, little non-breasts?! Please, it's gotta be Rachel.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What, no, no, no, mine are deceptively small I mean, I-I-I actually sometimes, st-stuff my bra.
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right then, your bra would still be big.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No, I stuff outside the bra.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ladies, ladies, let's just compromise okay? Phoebe, Rachel take off Monica's bra.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      All right, forget it, nevermind, you can have mine.
    • [Chandler crumples up his cigarette pack and throws it on the ground.]
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (seeing him) Chandler, what are you doing? There is a trash can right there.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, I thought if I littered, that crying Indian might come by and save us.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (finishing removing her bra) Okay, there.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Thank you Phoebe, that is very, very generous.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, now let's decide who has the nicest ass.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (opening the door) And there you go!
    • Everyone
      Oh, yeahhhhh!!!
    • [They all run to get in the cab, and Chandler pulls out a smoke.]
    • monica
    • Monica
      Chandler!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      At least let me smoke it to the good part.
    • [Phoebe puts the car in gear and starts to back out.]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay. (The car moves a few feet and sputters to a stop.) Oh, no!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What, what's it, what's going on?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, this has happened before.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      So you know how to fix it?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yep. Put more gas in.
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      Carol and Susan's, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.

    • Carol
      (answering the door) Hi!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (entering) Hey.
    • Carol
      Hey, what are you doing here?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, oh just ah, I was just wondering, when you and I split up, did you get the tape that was half the last episode of M*A*S*H and half the hostages coming home?
    • Carol
      Ah yeah, but now it's Susan and me in Mexico and the hostages coming home.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Where's Ben?
    • Carol
      He's sleeping.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ahh. (notices the table) Ooh, is this a ah, is this a bad time?
    • Carol
      Umm, yeah, actually, Susan's gonna be home any minute, it's kinda an anniversary.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh! I thought you guys got married in uh, January?
    • Carol
      It's not that kind of anniversary.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ah! (realises) Oh.
    • Carol
      Sooo!! Anyway...
    • ross
    • Ross
      Umm, candles, champagne, yeah anniversaries are great. 'Cause you know love lasts forever, y'know. Nothing like it in this lifetime, money in the bank, so Rachel and I broke up.
    • Carol
      Oh God, Ross I am so sorry.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, well.
    • Carol
      Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh yeah, I'd love that.
    • Carol
      Oh, great! Me too.
    • ross
    • Ross
      I guess it all started when Rachel got this new job. (he sits down at the table.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      The rest stop, Phoebe is on the phone to the motor club.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Great!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, what town are we near?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Freemont. West-Westmont, ah Westburg?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route we're on?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, we are definitely on Route 27.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay. (on phone) We are at a rest stop on Route 27. Okay. (to Rachel) There is no Route 27. (listens) (to Rachel) Okay, either 93 or 76?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I don't know, I'm sorry, I always slept in the back when we drove up here.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay. (on phone) Hey, can you send somebody up and down 76 and check every rest stop, and, and also 93? (listens) Okay! (hangs up) Yeah, no they don't do that.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ugh, okay, well somebody will come and save us.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Who? I mean have you seen a car come by here in the last hour and a half? I think we should call Ross, maybe he can get a car and come pick us up.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      But if...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, you'll have to think of something else.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh good, oh Joey and Chandler are back.
    • [Joey walks up helping Chandler.]
    • monica
    • Monica
      So the going for help went well?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh yeah, Smokey Joe here got half way to the highway and collapsed.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I have the lung capacity of a two year old. (starts to light another cigarette.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Then why are you smoking?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well it's very unsettling.
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      Carol and Susan's, Ross is eating the dinner Carol made for Susan.

    • ross
    • Ross
      ....right? Right? I mean it's pretty unbelievable y'know, I mean they just took off, took off without even looking back. Y'know I don't, I don't need them, huh, I've got you guys now as friends, you and Susan.
    • Carol
      Ah, Susan will be so pleased.
    • [Ross's beeper goes off.]
    • ross
    • Ross
      (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Where's 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, you've have more of these for Susan right?
    • Carol
      No. But it's okay, I'll just put out pickles or something.
    • [Cut to the rest stop, Monica and Phoebe are waiting anxiously by the phone as it rings.]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (answering the phone) (whispering) Ross, thank God.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Pheebs? What, why are you whispering?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I ate a bug.
    • [Rachel starts to walk up.]
    • monica
    • Monica
      (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Let's stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Listen Ross, we ran out of gas, and we don't know where we are, so we can't get a tow truck.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh, now you want a favour?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yes, please.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, oh, I'm sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but I'm a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay?
    • Carol
      (running over and grabbing the phone away from Ross) (on phone) Phoebe, hang on a second. (Hands Ross her keys) Here, take my car, go pick up your friends.
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, I'm not gonna pick them up.
    • Carol
      Listen, we both know you're gonna do it 'cause you're not a jerk. Okay? So you can either sulk here for a half hour and then go pick them up, or save us both time and sulk in the car.
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, Rachel doesn't want me to....
    • Carol
      Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you 'cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but don't punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, you're right.
    • Carol
      (on phone) Phoebe hang on a second Ross wants to say something. (listens) What? (listens) (to Ross) You slept with someone else?!
    • ross
    • Ross
      We were on a break!!! Okay!! (grabs the phone) We were, we were..., (calms down) yeah. Where are you? I'll find you. (hangs up)
    • Carol
      You slept with another woman?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh, you-you're-you're one to talk.
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      The rest stop, Joey is making a sign.

    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay, done.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (reading the sign) What's 'pleh'?
    • joey
    • Joey
      That's 'help' spelled backwards so that the helicopters can read it from the air!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Huh. What's doofus spelled backwards?
    • [Ross drives up.]
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (all excited) Op, op, car! Car!! (sees it's Ross) Ugh!!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, it's Ross on one of his drives!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hi!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What is he doing here?!
    • ross
    • Ross
      He is saving your butt, ah, unless of course I'm stepping on some toes here, in which case I can just mosey on, I've got plenty of people to help on the Interstate.
    • Everyone
      No! Come on!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      All right!! Fine! Fine.
    • [Ross grabs the gas can he brought along, and walks through Joey's sign destroying it.]
    • joey
    • Joey
      Arrrghh!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh no, now it's not gonna make any sense!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and we're then gonna go skiing?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, this is horrible, it's just horrible.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Guys, do you think we should ask Ross to come along?
    • monica
    • Monica
      I know, what about Rachel? I mean how are we even gonna ask her?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ask me what?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Umm, if ah, it might be okay if Ross came skiing?
    • joey
    • Joey
      No, I wasn't gonna ask you that, no.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You guys are unbelievable. No! He cannot come.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Excuse me?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      It's horrible.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (sarcastic) Oh please, can't I come to your special, magical cabin?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Why would you even want to come Ross? You're a horrible skier.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh-oh, hitting me where it hurts, my ski skills.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Here we go again.
    • joey
    • Joey
      I-I can't handle this, you guys.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Y'know what, I can handle it, handle's my middle name. Actually it's the ah, middle part of my first name.
    • ross
    • Ross
      All right Pheebs, your cab's ready.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      All right, let's go!
    • ross
    • Ross
      You're welcome.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, I'm sorry, were you speaking to me or sleeping with someone else?
    • ross
    • Ross
      We were on a break!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Y'know Ross why don't you put that on your answering machine!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey-hey, it's valid okay? And I'm not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (to Monica) What?!
    • monica
    • Monica
      (shyly) I don't know.
    • ross
    • Ross
      That's what you said last night.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What I said was, was that I understood. Joey's the one who agreed with you!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Really Joey?
    • joey
    • Joey
      (pause) What?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Y'know what, but there is, there is no right or wrong, here.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No, I think it's very obvious who's wrong here.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Obviously not to Joey.
    • [They all turn around and look at Joey.]
    • joey
    • Joey
      (pause) What?
    • [They all start fighting with each other.]
    • ross
    • Ross
      (to Rachel) Look both, Joey and Monica feel the same way that I do. No-no-no-no.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Guys, guys, guess who I am?! (starts dancing around in an effort to stop the fighting.)
    • [They stop briefly to look at Chandler, but then start fighting again.]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what you're doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You don't, all right you don't have to love each other, okay? You don't, you don't even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, and not put us in the middle.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, otherwise, I mean that's, that's, that's just it for us hanging out together. Y'know is that what you want? (they both look away) Can you be civil?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah.
    • ross
    • Ross
      I can.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay. Good, all right, let's get back in the car, 'cause it's freezing, and my chest is unsupported.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh what, wait, wait a second, I mean, what are we doing? Who's going with who?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, I'm, you, you planned this all out, and I don't want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Come on man, you drove all the way up here.
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, no, really, I've got to take the car back anyway, I'm spending all day tomorrow with Ben, It's fine, no guilt I promise.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Thank you.
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right, we'll call you when we get back.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Maybe we can like go to a movie or something.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Or, or the rodeo!!
    • ross
    • Ross
      That would be great.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I was being Shelly Winters from The Poseidon Adventure.
    • ross
    • Ross
      I know!
    • [They all get in the cab and drive away.]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Bye!!!
    • [Ross tries to start the truck, and discovers the battery's dead.]
    • CLOSING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Carol and Susan's, Carol is running to answer the door.

    • Carol
      (looking through the peephole) Ugh. (opening the door) Ross!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (entering) Hi! Sorry I'm late. Were you sleeping?
    • Carol
      Ahh, nooo!!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, 'cause that's not where you want to skimp.
    • Carol
      You're a genius, Ross.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, well it came to about $112, but what the hell, just call it an even 110?
    • Carol
      Okay, I'll pay you tomorrow. (pushes him out the door)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay.
    • Carol
      Okay, bye!!
    • ross
    • Ross
      So they ah, they all took off, it was pretty hard watching them go, y'know?
    • Carol
      Yeah, okay, bye. (closes the door, turns out the lights, and runs back to the bedroom)
    • ross
    • Ross
      (outside the door) So I'm gonna take off then!
    • END