• logo Screen Scripts
  •  /  Friends  /  S03E24 The One With The Ultimate Fighting Champion


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Central Perk, the whole gang minus Monica is there.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Do you think that there's a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as you're driving into town there's-there's like a sign, and it says "You're in Sample." (He says it like urine sample.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      (entering) Hey.
    • Everyone
      Hey!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      How'd it go with Pete?!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Tell us!
    • monica
    • Monica
      You're not gonna believe this. Okay, so I go over...
    • [Two guys walk over and interrupt her. They're both names you've already heard. One's Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
    • Billy Crystal
      I'm sorry. Ex-excuse us. I'm sorry, it's a little crowded. Do you mind if we... (motions to the couch)
    • Robin Williams
      Yeah, could you scooch?
    • Billy
      Yeah, move over just a little bit.
    • (Rachel, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey all scooch over to let them sit down.)
    • Robin
      Keep on scooching.
    • [cut to Monica telling the gang about what happened at Pete's]
    • monica
    • Monica
      So guys, listen, I go over there, and umm...
    • (Robin interrupts her again by complaining loudly to Billy as the camera cuts to them.)
    • Robin
      Why? Why?! What's wrong with me?!
    • Billy
      What's the matter?
    • Robin
      I have a feelin'... I, my wife is sleeping with her gynaecologist.
    • (The gang is now eaves dropping in on the conversation, and is shocked.)
    • Billy
      How do you know?
    • Robin
      Well y'know, he's got access.
    • Billy
      Yeah.
    • Robin
      Y'know it's that feeling you get, y'know?
    • Billy
      Like when you go bowling and you know you're in somebody else's shoes?
    • Robin
      That's the one.
    • [cut back to the gang.]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      All right, so, so you went to Pete's...
    • ross
    • Ross
      What happened?
    • monica
    • Monica
      (Robin is speaking loudly again) I...
    • [cut to Billy and Robin]
    • Robin
      Why is this happening to me?! I don't know, maybe it's my wound.
    • [cut to the gang]
    • monica
    • Monica
      Forget it. (they all turn and listen to Billy and Robin)
    • Billy
      So it's-it's not heeled yet?
    • Robin
      No-no, it's ooozing, oozing. (to Rachel) Could you pass me the cream? Is there any-Oh, there's the cream.
    • Billy
      Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
    • Robin
      What is it, Tim?
    • Billy
      It's me, I've been sleeping with your wife.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (to Billy) So you're the gynaecologist?
    • Billy
      (to Joey) Hey, I'm trying to have a private conversation! Is that okay?!
    • Robin
      (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
    • Billy
      Thomas, come back here! (they both leave)
    • [cut to the gang, they're all stunned]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      So Monica, what were you gonna tell us?
    • monica
    • Monica
      (pause) I have no idea.
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Central Perk, continued from earlier.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No-no-no oh, keep your name, don't take his name.
    • monica
    • Monica
      He didn't ask me to marry him.
    • Everyone
      Ohh.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well then definately don't take his name.
    • monica
    • Monica
      He wanted to tell me he's gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
    • The Guys
      Pete?!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Why?! What is it?
    • monica
    • Monica
      I don't know exactly. It's-it's sorta like wrestling.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (intrigued) Oh?!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah, but without the costumes.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (disappointed) Oh.
    • joey
    • Joey
      And it's not fake, it's totally brutal.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, it's two guys in a ring, and the rules are: "They're are no rules."
    • monica
    • Monica
      So you can like, bite, and pull people's hair and stuff?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, anything goes, except ah, eye gouging and fish hooking.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What's fish hooking?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Huh, what's fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Ross's mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
    • joey
    • Joey
      What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      Chandler's office, he is just finishing a meeting with his boss.

    • Doug
      So thanks for the warm welcome. It's good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, let's go out there and get 'em! Huh? And remember, there is no 'I' in team.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yes, but there's two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
    • Doug
      (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! What's your name?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh it's Bing, sir. I'm sorry , I was just ah...
    • Doug
      No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but it's also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      Monica and Rachel's, Ross is making reservations.

    • ross
    • Ross
      (on phone) That's right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yes!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      All right buddy, way to go! (smacks him on the butt)
    • ross
    • Ross
      (stunned) Dude, what are you doing?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Thank you! Today, my boss keep slapping my butt and he was acting like it was no big deal.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeesh, what'd you do about it?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, I didn't do anything. I didn't want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I gotta tell ya, I think it's okay to be that guy.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, maybe it's like y'know, that jock thing. Y'know how football players pat each other after touchdowns. (pats Ross on the butt)
    • (Ross throws his hands out in a "What are you doing?" gesture)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Y'know I don't, I don't understand guys, I mean I-I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by y'know, grabbin' her boob.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between 'em.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, can we please go eat?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah. What are we getting?
    • monica
    • Monica
      (to Chandler) Anything but stew.
    • ross
    • Ross
      All right so, Chandler, from now on, don't give your boss a chance to get you. Y'know just ah, don't turn your back to him.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (to Ross and Monica) What if Joey were president?
    • (Monica, Ross, Chandler, and Joey exit.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Umm, hey Rach, can I ask you something?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, you can totally say no, but umm, would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, ah with who?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Umm, my friend, Bonnie. She just always thought Ross was really cute, and now that you two aren't together, she asked if I could set it up, but if you're not cool with it...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh-oh-oh, which one is Bonnie again?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. She's yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh! (laughs) That's fine.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      A Gym, Pete is training for the Ultimate Fighting Championship, with his trainer, Hoshi.

    • Hoshi
      You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
    • Pete
      I told you, we're adding new operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training?
    • Hoshi
      It's just hard when I know I have e-mail I can't get!
    • monica
    • Monica
      (entering) Hi!
    • Pete
      Monica! (runs over and kisses her) Hi honey.
    • Hoshi
      All right, on the table. (Pete gets on the table for his rubdown)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I don't want you to get hurt, 'cause I kinda like you.
    • Pete
      Oh, believe me, I don't want to get hurt either. I'm being smart about this. See these guys? They're the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. (Hoshi yells at him in Chinese) A house painter! He used to be a house painter.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Promise me you'll be careful.
    • Pete
      I promise.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey, are we still on for tonight?
    • Pete
      Yeah.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, good, 'cause umm, well maybe we could have a little workout of our own...
    • Hoshi
      No! No boom-boom before big fight!
    • monica
    • Monica
      How 'bout just a boom?
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      Central Perk, Phoebe is there with Bonnie, as Rachel enters.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (to Phoebe) Well that was depressing, I think I just bought a soft pretzel from one of the kids from Fame. Ready to go to the movies?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way)
    • Bonnie
      Hi!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      This is Bonnie? (to Phoebe) This is Bonnie? (to Bonnie) You're Bonnie?
    • Bonnie
      I can show you an ID if you want?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh no, I'm sorry, you look a lot different from the last time I-I saw you.
    • Bonnie
      Oh yeah, well I just started wearing bras again.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, that must be it.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (to Bonnie) Well I hope you have fun tonight.
    • Bonnie
      Thanks! You too.
    • (Phoebe starts to leave, Rachel slowly follows, shocked about how good Bonnie looks now.)
    • [cut to outside of Central Perk]
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (to Phoebe) You said she was bald.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, she was bald, she's not now.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      How could you not tell me that she has hair?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I don't know, I hardly ever say that about people.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (looks in the window) Ohh, well, this is just perfect!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well I'm sorry, I thought you said it was okay.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, I said what was okay when I thought she was some weird bald chick. I mean, y'know, that girl has hair got all over head!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, maybe it won't work out. Maybe Ross won't like her personality.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Why, does she have a bad personality?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh no, Bonnie's the best!
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      Chandler's office, Chandler is bent over getting some water as his boss approaches.

    • Doug
      Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandler's co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (to his co-workers) What is with him?
    • Phil
      With him? You're is favourite, you're his guy!
    • Stevens
      We never get smacked.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Well, that's not true, he-he smacked you once.
    • Phil
      Not on purpose, he ricocheted of you and got me.
    • Stevens
      I'm telling you, I need some smacks. I got a kid starting Dartmouth in the fall.
    • Doug
      (coming out of his office) Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks. Did you go to Dartmouth Bing?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No sir.
    • Doug
      There you go. (smacks him on the butt)
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      The Ultimate Fighting Championship, Ross and Monica are there watching Pete.

    • ross
    • Ross
      (walking up with this huge tub-o-popcorn and drink) Hey!
    • monica
    • Monica
      God Ross, what is that?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah, it's the Ultimate Fighting Combo. Yeah, I saved thirty cents, plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!!
    • Announcer
      From New York City, New York! Appearing in his Ultimate Fighting Championship debut! He's known for his confrontational business style. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Pete Beck-errrr!!
    • [Pete enters with his entourage all pumped up, and Ross and Monica are the only ones who stand up and cheer.]
    • monica
    • Monica
      I love you, Pete!!!
    • Announcer
      And his opponent, from Hunnington Beach, California! He's a 300 pound street fighter, Tank Abbottttttt!!!!
    • (The crowd goes wild, and Ross is the only one boo-ing him.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      (going up to the ring) Pete! Pete!! That guy's pretty huge!
    • Pete
      Don't worry, Hoshi taught me how to use an opponent's strength and weight against him.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
    • (Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths "I love you." to him.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      All right! You go get him! Let's go!
    • Referee
      Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, "Yes.") Let's get it on!!
    • (They both rush each other. Tank picks Pete up and carries him over and slams him into the fence surrounding the ring.)
    • Pete
      Uh-oh.
    • (Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.)
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      The Arena, after the fight. Monica is walking up to a defeated Pete.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey! (she sits down next to him) It's me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you.
    • Pete
      It would be nice after hearing 20,000 people chant "You suck!"
    • monica
    • Monica
      I mean I-I thought you were nuts at first, but you-you did it. And now you can just look back at this thing with no regrets.
    • Pete
      What, look back?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, you're not gonna get going are you?
    • Pete
      Well let me ask you a question. Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well, no. But...
    • Pete
      Well I'm not gonna stop until I'm the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
    • monica
    • Monica
      That guy stood on your neck until you passed out!
    • Pete
      Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dad's garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
    • monica
    • Monica
      You didn't know that already?
    • Pete
      Look, I'm gonna get better. Okay? I promise you.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, just get a lot better. (pause) Fast.
    • Pete
      Oh, one other thing. Hoshi thinks that you being ringside may have affected my concentration.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah. That-that was the problem.
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      Monica and Rachel's balcony, Ross and Phoebe are grilling some burgers and hot dogs.

    • monica
    • Monica
      (joining them) Hey.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hey! How long until Pete's fight?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, about five minutes. Right now they're interviewing his opponent. Apparently he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Hot dog?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Four, please. (Ross looks at her) I'm really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      So Ross, how umm, how did it go with Bonnie?
    • ross
    • Ross
      What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasn't expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasn't expecting to like anyone right now, but she's really terrific.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Ohh, that's too bad!
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, I-I'm saying I liked her.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, y'know what, there are other fish in the sea.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Pheebs, I think she's great. Okay? We're going out again.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, I hear you! Are you capable of talking about any thing else?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (joining them) Hey! Which one's my turkey burger?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ahh, the one next to my foot. Sorry.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (sticking his head out the window) Hey, the fight's starting!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay, we'll be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Nine times! Okay, I had to put on lotion! But, it's gonna be okay, because as of tomorrow I'm conducting an experiment, and if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack free.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (sticking his head out the window) Fight's over!
    • (Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Chandler's office, Chandler is confronting his boss about the butt smacking thing. His boss is writing on a white board.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Excuse me, Doug? (no reaction) Hey there sports fan!!
    • Doug
      (turning around) Bing! You got those numbers for me?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No, I ah, I didn't do them.
    • Doug
      Oh, you forgot?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No, no I just ah, didn't do them. Instead, I ah, hung out with a couple of friends and had a couple of beers so I certainly don't deserve any praise, verbal or otherwise.
    • Doug
      Well, I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home, Tapanzi Bridge never looked smaller. (laughs) That's okay, you're still my number one guy! (slaps him on the butt) Bing!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Doug!!
    • Doug
      Hmm.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I'm a little bit uncomfortable with the that way you express yourself.
    • Doug
      Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No, no. It-it's not about the swearing, it's more about ah, the way, that you ah, occasionally, concentrate, your enthusiasm on my buttock.
    • Doug
      Oh?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, and don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment. It's just that I, I have a rather, sensitive posterior, and ah, besides, it's making all the other guys jealous.
    • Doug
      Well, say no more. Y'know it takes guts to bring this up. Bing! You're okay.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay. (he starts to leave)
    • Doug
      Ha! (goes to smack him on the butt, but stops, faking Chandler out) Ahhhhhhh!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ahhhhh! (walks out, imitating shooting himself in the head)
    • new scene
    • Scene 12

      The street outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are talking and walking.

    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (seeing Ross and Bonnie inside Central Perk) Oh my God! Phoebe look, it's Ross and that girl.
    • (We see Ross and Bonnie laughing and having a good time.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No! No! Look at that! (drags her away from the window) It's a line of ants! They're working as a team!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Phoebe! (goes back to the window)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Let's go.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay that's, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, that's what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh no! That really is nothing, she is very sexually aggressive.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, he's gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      You said it was okay!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      You said she was bald!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What?! What-what-what-what-what?!!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Phoebe, we can't, we just can't just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I don't get it. Aren't you the one that decided that you didn't want to be with Ross?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (quietly) Yes.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well isn't he your friend? Don't you want him to be happy?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yes.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      So?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I just y'know, I didn't expect him to be this happy so soon. Ufff. Ooo-ooh! (sits down on the curb)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (sits down next to her and hugs her) Oh no.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, we killed them all.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh!
    • (They both jump up and wipe off their butts.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 13

      A locker room, Pete is in a full upper-body cast. Monica enters, sees him, and gasps. Pete tries to turn around, and winces in pain.

    • Pete
      It's okay, it's not as bad as it looks, it's a precaution. Ah, I'm not supposed to move my spine.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Please tell me you're stopping now.
    • Pete
      I'm fine! I'd fight tonight, if they'd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle I'm marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
    • monica
    • Monica
      You are insane! You-you gotta give this up!
    • Pete
      I can't until I'm the ultimate fighter. I will do it. I'm telling you, the day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight, me or Superman. Now, I'm not saying I could beat Superman, but y'know, kids are stupid.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Sit down. All right? Please, just listen to me. You are terrible at this! Okay? You are the worst ultimate fighter ever! Ever!!
    • Pete
      Y'know I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm, and a severely bruised Adam's Apple, but that really hurt.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then you're gonna have to do it without me.
    • Pete
      Well if you're asking me to quit, then you're asking me to be someone I'm not. I've got to do this.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Then I've gotta go. Bye. (kisses him and starts to walk out)
    • Pete
      Mon-Monica?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yes?
    • Pete
      Could you leave a note? 'Cause I'm on a lot of pain killers now, and I don't know if I'll remember this tomorrow. (She leaves.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 14

      Chandler's office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.

    • Doug
      So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so I'm happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldn't have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Thank you, sir.
    • Stevens
      (coming back in) Oh, excuse me. I forgot my briefcase y'know, by accident.
    • Doug
      Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? You're not feeling left out or anything are ya?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No. No, not at all, that's-that's ridiculous.
    • Doug
      Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Don't you?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ye-ye-yeah, yes I do!
    • Doug
      Now get on out of here, you! (smacks him on the butt)
    • CLOSING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 15

      Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching Pete fight on TV. Monica is hiding in the kitchen, not watching.

    • TV Announcer
      Pete Becker is circling the ring now. It looks like, he's just trying to feel him out. Oh, Bruiser is just...
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Run! Run you crazy, rich freak!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, I can't watch this. (turns her eyes away)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Check it out, he's winning! (to Monica) Pete's winning!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Really?!
    • joey
    • Joey
      No-o-o!!
    • TV Announcer
      Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on the canvas and is going for his favourite area.
    • Everyone
      Oh! Oh! (they all recoil in horror)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Wait, if that's his favourite area, why is he being so mean to it?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, this is ironic. Of your last two boyfriends, Richard didn't want to have kids, and from the looks of it, now Pete can't.
    • Everyone
      Ohh!! (they all start pointing at the screen)
    • END