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  •  /  Friends  /  S03E21 The One With A Chick. And A Duck


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      So who's idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, some idiot customer put a suggestion in the suggestion box.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh my God, they took my idea!
    • monica
    • Monica
      That was you?!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah! Okay, here you go. (rolls her back to Rachel)
    • Gunther
      (bringing Rachel a mug) Rachel, I made you a cocoa.
    • [He distracts her from catching Monica and Monica slams into her, knocking her down. Monica then falls on top of her.]
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh my God, are you guys okay?
    • Gunther
      Are you all right?
    • joey
    • Joey
      (leaving Central Perk and seeing Monica laying on top of Rachel who is moaning in pain.) Oh my.
    • (They both turn and give him a dirty look.)
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Quincy M.E. as Chandler is walking into the living room from his bedroom.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (sporting a goatee) Hey.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey. Y'know with that goatee you kinda look like Satan.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh, so that's why the priest threw holy water on me. (there's no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey I was crying because, because nobody believed Quincy's theory. Okay?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (entering) Hey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (triumphantly) I'm gonna be on TV!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No way!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah! They're putting together this panel to talk about these fossils they just found in Peru and The Discovery Channel's gonna film it!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh my God! Who's gonna watch that?!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Thanks. You ready to go?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah. (they start to leave)
    • joey
    • Joey
      Saw a girl with that vest.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Thanks. (He takes off the vest and throws it on the floor.)
    • Anchorwoman
      (on TV) While most of us think of chocolate bunnies and baskets as traditional Easter gifts. Some people insist on giving live chicks as presents. (Joey is intrigued by the idea) Unfortunately, the sad fact remains that most of these little guys won't live to see the fourth of July. (Joey starts to call a place to buy a little baby chick) Because of as a result of improper care, they will be dead.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (on phone) Yeah, hi. You guys got any of those baby chicks? 'Cause I was watching this ah, commercial on TV and man, those guys are cute!
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      The Moondance Diner, Pete is entering, Monica is on roller skates.

    • Pete
      Hi!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hi! Hey, Pete you're back! Hey, check this out. (She starts to skate over to him)
    • Pete
      Wow! Skates!
    • (She gets just about all the way over to him and falls into his arms.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Wow! You're a lot sturdier that Chandler. He crumpled like a piece of paper. So how was you're trip?
    • Pete
      Well... (he holds up a gift he brought her)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, what'd ya bring me?! (She opens the gift) Awww, hotel toiletries from Japan. Oh, these are gonna go in my permanent collection. You want some coffee?
    • Pete
      Yeah, sure, that'd be great.
    • (She starts to go and get the coffee and falls behind the counter.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      (popping back up) Regular or decaf?
    • Pete
      Ah, which ever is closest.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay. (hands him a cup)
    • Pete
      So ask me what I did today.
    • monica
    • Monica
      So what did you do today Pete?
    • Pete
      I bought a restaurant and I would like you to be the head chef.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?! Oh.(She turns around quickly and falls)
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Pete's offer.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What a jerk! You want me to kick his ass?
    • monica
    • Monica
      I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monica's Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Pete's just doing this because he has a crush on me.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      And you're still not attracted to him at all?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hmm, no. I mean how can I accept a restaurant from him? I-I-I-I can't. I couldn't even accept a necklace from Stu Vincent in the seventh grade.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, but Mon that's totally different. He was you're health teacher.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, please.
    • (She slaps Rachel's side and Rachel screams in pain.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      What? Honey.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, I am, my side still hurts from when you crashed into me yesterday.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh God, I'm so sorry.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I know.
    • (Monica hugs her goes and hugs her)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ow!!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh God!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (entering, wearing a white suit with a little red bow tie) Hey, you guys! Guess what?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (looking at the outfit) Got a job on a river boat?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Y'know what I didn't wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? You're not my girlfriend anymore so...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh I see, so this suit is making a point.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Right.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Now that you're on you're own, you're free to look as stupid as you like.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (to Monica) You like it right?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh absolutely. I like it even more on you than I did on Colonel Sanders. (Ross starts to leave) Ross! Ross! I'm kidding!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, come here!
    • monica
    • Monica
      What-what was it you were gonna tell us?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah. Oh! Was how you invented the cotton gin?!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay, good bye! (leaves)
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about her suggestion.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So um, after you put the suggestion in the box, how long did it take for the roller skating thing to happen.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Umm, oh, about three months.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, so I guess that's about ah, two weeks before the topless thing kicks in.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (entering carrying a box) Hey!!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey!
    • joey
    • Joey
      I got you something! Open it! Open it!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay. (He opens it and it's a baby chick) It's a chicken.
    • joey
    • Joey
      It's cute, huh?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Whoa-whoa-whoa, you guys, do you know anything about chicks?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Fowl? No. Women? Nooo.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Okay, well they are a huge responsibility, especially at this age. They require constant care. They-they need just the right food, and lot's and lot's of love.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like it's a little baby.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Easy Lenny.
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      The Moondance Diner, Pete is talking to Monica about the restaurant.

    • Pete
      So? I mean have you thought about it?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay. Here's the thing.
    • Pete
      Oh no, not the thing. I hate the thing. What's the thing?
    • monica
    • Monica
      I can't do it. I'm sorry, I wish I could, but umm, see you have these feelings for me....
    • Pete
      Wait, wait, wait, wait, that's-that's what you're worried about? If that's the problem, we've got no problem.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Huh?
    • Pete
      No! Look, I was gonna tell you this over dinner, but I met somebody else. On my trip.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh?
    • Pete
      Her name's Ann, she's a journalist. Ahh, we met on the plane. She asked me if she could finish off my peanuts, I thought she said something else, we had a big laugh. Yeah, I just, I mean I got, I got tired of waiting.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, that's great! I mean I'm-I'm sorry, but I'm so happy for you. And now I can work for you!
    • Pete
      I guess you can.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! (she rolls over and kisses him on the cheek) All right, y'know what? I'm just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!
    • Pete
      All right.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay. (she gets ready to go) Can you give me a little push?
    • Pete
      Yeah, sure. Good luck!
    • monica
    • Monica
      (rolling towards the office) I'm quitting!! Woo-hoo! (She rolls through a doorway and out of sight. We then hear a big crash, and see Monica roll past the door the other way.) I'm okay!! I'm all right!!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (to Pete) Wow! That's exciting, you went to Japan, made up a woman.
    • Pete
      What?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I'm just saying, this woman, I mean she's fictitious. No?
    • Pete
      Why would you say that?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      'Cause you're still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so 'cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
    • Pete
      You're good. You're good!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Yeah, no, I'm fairly intuitive and psychic. It's a substantial gift.
    • Pete
      Listen, can you promise me that you won't tell her though?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Absolutely, oh I promise. Tell her what?
    • Pete
      Thanks a lot.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No I'm serious. I mean I'm intuitive, but my memory sucks.
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is baby-chick sitting.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay, but this is the last time. (singing) With a chick-chick here, and a chick-chick there. Here a chick, there a chick, everywhere a chick-chick-(Joey enters)-chickeeeen.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey.
    • joey
    • Joey
      How's she doing?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      She?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well yeah, don't-don't you think it's a she?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I don't know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I can't tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, anyway, I got to go change, I'm ah, meeting some of the cast for drinks.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Excuse me?
    • joey
    • Joey
      What?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I stayed home from work today while you were at rehearsal so somebody could be here with our chick!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey! Who was up from 2 o'clock this morning until 5 o'clock this morning trying to get her back to sleep?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      You don't think I get up when you get up?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Ohhh, here it comes.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yes, here it comes! I'm stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I don't think so mister!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey!! I need to relax! Okay? I was working all day!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      And you don't think taking care of our chick is work?
    • joey
    • Joey
      That's not what I said. Okay, I just meant...
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I know what you meant!! (pause) You notice that ever since we got this chick, we've been fighting a lot more than we used too?
    • joey
    • Joey
      I don't know, maybe we weren't ready to have a chick.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I'll take her back tomorrow.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Do you think we'll get our three bucks back?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (entering carrying a garment bag) Hey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, the brown one brings out your eyes, but your butt looks great in the blue one.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Really? (Joey gives him a 'Like I would know' look)
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Wow! That aspirin dance really works!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (She bends over to try and pick up the aspirin) Oww!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh my God, is that still...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I'm fine, I'm fine.
    • ross
    • Ross
      No you're not.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yes I am!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Rach!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Look, I'm fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (stopping her from falling) Okay, okay. Look, you have got to go to a doctor! Okay?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No. I have got to get ready and go to a dinner at my bosses house. It's a very big deal, there's a lot of people there I have to meet.
    • ross
    • Ross
      And I'm sure you're gonna make a big impression. Hi! I'm Rachel Green. It's nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well, I will go to the hospital tomorrow, it'll still be broken then.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Rach...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      But y'know, I could use a hand getting ready.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Rachel...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Look, either help me or go.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Fine. I'll go.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (with a hurt expression on her face) Okay, but before you go, could you help me first?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (He checks his watch) Sure. I'll help you.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (rushing in) Oh, good! Good! Do you guys know how to get a chick out of a VCR?!
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      Rachel's bedroom, Rachel is trying to put on eye liner with her left hand, as Ross is setting out her shoes.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (She drops the brush) Y'know what? I cannot do this with my left hand! Would you please, help me with this too?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ohh. (He drops the shoes, takes the brush from her, and licks the tip. He doesn't like how it tastes.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (taking the brush back) Okay. Let's use this brush. (Hands him another one.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay. This stuff?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah.
    • ross
    • Ross
      All right.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Careful. Light. Okay, do you know how, just sweep it across the lid. Okay? Just sweep it.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oke-dokey. (He pokes her in the eye with the brush.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh-ho!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Sorry.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hey! That's just poking me in the eye!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Sorry, I'm sorry. Close, close, close...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, just sweep it.
    • ross
    • Ross
      I'm sweeping...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Right.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Sweep, sweep....(He starts to paint it on her eye, making it look like she has a black eye.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, now make it even, 'cause we don't...
    • ross
    • Ross
      What? What?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      We don't want it-it to be too much, we want it to be subtle.
    • (Of course it's too late for that.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      No. No, y'know you don't, you don't wear enough of this. (Rachel is shocked) What?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Since when, since when do you think I don't wear enough of this?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well I, close your eyes, I just think you're gonna like this a little better, 'cause, close-close... (He gets some more on the brush)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Blow it.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (blows it) Sorry. 'Cause umm, I think this will make you a little more sophisticated.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Sophisticated like a hooker?
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      Central Perk, Monica is entering, Phoebe is already there.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey, guess what I'm doing tonight.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What?
    • monica
    • Monica
      I'm checking out the restaurant with Pete.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I know.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Ooh, I have to tell you something.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      But I can't tell you.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, but wouldn't it be easier if you had to tell me something that you could tell me.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Well, sure in a perfect world. But, no, I promised I wouldn't tell, and I swore to like all my gods.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Does it have to do with Joey?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Does it have to do with-with Chandler and that sock that he keeps by his bed?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No, but let's come back to that later!
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Rachel's Bedroom, Ross is finishing up her make-up.

    • ross
    • Ross
      There you go! Good enough for your party, huh?
    • (She turns and looks in the mirror, and it's way, way over done. She looks like she has two black eyes.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Sure.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yep?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Sure, I'll just sit next to the trans-sexual from purchasing.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay, come on! All right, I gotta go! So good luck at the party. Okay?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh wait, Ross, would you just stay and help me get dressed?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (checks his watch) Sure, okay.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay. Okay, great! Umm, okay, just turn around.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I don't want you to see me naked!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Rachel, I've seen you naked a million times. I ate hot fudge off you naked. Remember, I-I sucked that mini-marshmallow out of your belly button?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, but that was different. Y'know? I mean, we were, we were going out then, now I think it's weird.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Rach, y'know I can see you naked any time I want.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What?
    • ross
    • Ross
      All I have to do is close my eyes. See? (closes his eyes) Woo-hoo!!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ross! Stop that!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ah, I'm sorry.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Come on! I don't want you thinking of me like that any more!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ahh, sorry, nothing you can do about it. It's one of my ah, rights as the ex-boyfriend. (closes his eyes again) Oop, oh yeah!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Stop it! Cut it out! Cut it out!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay, okay, I'm sorry, it will never happen... (closes eyes) Uh-oh! Wait a minute! Wait-wait, now there are a hundred of you and I'm the king.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Rosss...
    • ross
    • Ross
      Come on, would you grow up? It's no big deal.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      All right. (She starts to take off her robe) Fine.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yowzah!!!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      O-kay!! See what you did, I'm gonna be doing it by myself now. Okay?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Aww, come on.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      That's it. (She crawls onto the bed) Ow!!!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh my God!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh-ow!
    • ross
    • Ross
      All right.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ow!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Look...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ow!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ow!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Rach?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ow! Ow!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Easy. Easy. You have to go to the hospital. Okay?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, I do.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I really do.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay, I'm gonna get your coat and then I'll-I'll put you in a cab.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay. Oh wait, wait-wait, you're not gonna come with me?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (He thinks about it) Of course I am. I just have to make a call.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay? (goes into the living room)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Thank you. (She goes to take off her make-up and screams in pain) Oww!!!! God!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (rushing back in) What?! I wh-, what's wrong?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I'm sorry, I just can't go to the hospital lookin' like this.
    • new scene
    • Scene 12

      Central Perk, Monica is trying to find out what Phoebe won't tell her.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Does it involve travel?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Noo!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Does it involve clogs?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, wait, wait. Clogs, or claws?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Clogs.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Claws?!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      No.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, so it doesn't involve Ross or Rachel or Chandler or Joey. But, what about Pete?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (Shaking her head yes) No!
    • monica
    • Monica
      What is it?! What about Pete?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I don't know! (frantically points at Monica)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, I feel like I'm talking to Lassie. All right, Phoebe would you just tell me!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I can't!!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, I gotta go. (gets up)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I, but you're so close! No!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, does it involve something to do with Pete's computer company?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, just go. You're never gonna get it!
    • new scene
    • Scene 13

      Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Baywatch with the baby chick. He's on one leather chair, the chick is on the other. It's watching Yasmine Bleeth run and is chirping.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I know. See, yes. That's Yasmine Bleeth, she's a completely different kind of chick. I love you both. But in very different ways.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (entering) Hey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey!
    • joey
    • Joey
      (sees he's watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I did! But the store wouldn't take her back! So then I took her to the shelter, and you know what I found out?
    • (Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesn't want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      If they can't find a home for her, they kill her! And I'm not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay, good, good, good, 'cause, good, 'cause I was kinda having second thoughts too.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay. And it's not just chicks y'know? It's all kinds of other animals!
    • joey
    • Joey
      That's horrible! Well, you did the right thing man.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Thanks, I'm glad you see it that way.
    • (He hear a duck start quacking, and see it waddle into the living room from the bathroom. Joey wants to know what's with the duck.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ohhh-hoo, funny story!
    • new scene
    • Scene 14

      Pete's Restaurant's Kitchen, Pete is showing Monica around the kitchen.

    • monica
    • Monica
      I don't believe this! Wow, look at this refrigerator! It's gigantic! I mean I could live in this thing! I'd be cold, but I'm always cold. Oh my God, look at these spider burners! I love spider burners.
    • Pete
      So you like it?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
    • Pete
      Oh, you're welcome. (He takes a deep breath)
    • monica
    • Monica
      Did you just smell my hair?
    • Pete
      Nooo. Uh-huh, no way. What? No.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh God.
    • Pete
      What?
    • monica
    • Monica
      You still have feelings for me don't you?
    • Pete
      Now, nooo! I'm just excited about the restaurant, that's all.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Pete.
    • Pete
      Okay, I love you. Is that so bad?
    • monica
    • Monica
      No, it's not bad. It's not bad at all. It's-it's really nice.
    • Pete
      Look, the only who stands to get hurt is me. And I'm okay with that.
    • monica
    • Monica
      You may be okay about getting hurt, but I am not okay with being the one who hurts you. That's why I can't take this job.
    • Pete
      What?
    • monica
    • Monica
      And well, we probably shouldn't see each other anymore. I'm sorry.
    • Pete
      Okay, yeah. I mean... If that's, if that's really what you want, okay.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay, bye.
    • (She kisses him on the cheek, and he kisses her back on the mouth.)
    • Pete
      I'm sorry things didn't work out...
    • monica
    • Monica
      All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 15

      The Hallway Between The Apartments, Ross and Rachel are coming back from the hospital. Ross is helping her up the stairs.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, you'd tell me the truth. Right?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Rach, you can't look fat in an x-ray.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay.
    • (As they approach the door, Chandler comes out carrying his duck.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay! Now you stay out here, and you think about what you did!!
    • ross
    • Ross
      (to Chandler) That's a duck.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That's a bad duck!!! (to Ross) How'd the thing go tonight, Ross?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh, it was, nah, well....
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What thing? What thing?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Nothing, ah there was this thing at the museum. Come on. (they go into her apartment) Easy.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (to the duck) Okay, now when you come back I hope you remember that, that chick is not a toy! (He goes back into the apartment)
    • [cut to inside Monica and Rachel's]
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What thing? What is this thing?
    • ross
    • Ross
      I was kinda, supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh my God!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Yeah.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ross, why didn't you tell me that?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Eh, 'cause I knew that if I told you, you'd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I cannot believe you.
    • ross
    • Ross
      What?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      That is the sweetest thing, I just....
    • (They both look at each other for a while)
    • ross
    • Ross
      (breaking the silence) You should get some sleep.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay.
    • ross
    • Ross
      So, I'll umm...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, I'm sorry I spoiled you're evening.
    • ross
    • Ross
      No, that's, no, as long as you're okay. So I'll ah, I'll see you tomorrow.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Um-hmm, yeah.
    • (He leaves)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (After he closes the door) See ya.
    • (In the hallway, Ross all dejected, sits down on the step.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (coming out of his apartment and seeing Ross) What did you do?
    • CLOSING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 16

      Chandler and Joey's Bathroom: Chandler is watching the duck swim in the bathtub.

    • joey
    • Joey
      What 'cha doing?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Having a swim.
    • joey
    • Joey
      What about the chick?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Chicks don't swim.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Are you sure?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I don't know. Should we try it?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Sure.
    • (Chandler picks up the chick and drops it in the water.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      See, I told you they don't swim. (He goes to take it out)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (stopping him) Wait. Give him a minute.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Noo! (takes him out) Oh, it's okay, it's okay, baby, baby, baby.
    • (Joey picks up and turns on a hair dryer.)
    • END