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  •  /  Friends  /  S07E04 The One With Rachel's Assistant


    • new scene
    • Scene 1

      Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there and they are finishing watching the first episode of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. Joey is of course Mac.

    • Mac
      (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives don't mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica aren't amused.)
    • C.H.E.E.S.E
      You can say that again Mac.
    • Mac
      Well, I couldn't have done it without you buddy. You're a genius.
    • C.H.E.E.S.E
      Oh yeah? Well then how come I can't get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
    • (They both break into a huge laugh and do that stop motion thing they had at the end of ChiPs.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (laughing and turning off the TV) So, what did you guys think?
    • (They all make happy faces as they are unable to express their feelings verbally. Finally, the phone rings and the race to answer it is won by Monica.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, it's your mom. (Hands him the phone.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      It's your mommy. It's your mommy.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ohhhh...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      That's nice.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (on phone) Mom, so what did you think? (He walks away allowing the gang a chance to figure out what they're gonna say.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well that was umm...Okay.
    • ross
    • Ross
      It wasn't the best.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That was one of the worse things ever. And not just on TV.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Wh-what are we gonna tell him?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, the lighting was okay.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ohh no you don't! You got lighting last time, lighting is mine!
    • monica
    • Monica
      And I have costumes.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh great! That means I'm stuck with, "So, we were watching you in there (Points to the TV) and you were sittin' right here! Whoa!"
    • (Phoebe gets up.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      What are you gonna do Pheebs?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      I don't know. I don't know. I can't lie to him again. Oh no I-no! I'm just gonna press my breasts up against him.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      And say nothing?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Uh-huh, yeah that's right.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (hangs up the phone) Wow! Well, my folks really liked it! So what-what did you guys think? (Phoebe smiles, walks up to him, and presses her breasts against him.) It wasn't that good.
    • OPENING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 2

      Central Perk, Phoebe and Monica are reading on the couch.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Phoebe, do you think that your favorite animal says much about you?
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What? You mean behind my back?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (entering, excitedly) Oh! Hi you guys, oh my God! You'll never gonna believe happened to me today! I am sitting in my office and...
    • joey
    • Joey
      (entering from bathrooms excitedly) You guys! You guys! You're not gonna believe what my agent just told me!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Joey! Kinda in the middle of a story here!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Ooh, sorry. Sorry. You finish, go.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, so anyway I'm sittin' in my office and guess who walks in.
    • joey
    • Joey
      I'm gonna be on two TV shows!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, that's great!!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Joey!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Oh, you weren't finished?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Uh Rach, if you're gonna start another story, at least let me finish mine.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      It's the same story.
    • joey
    • Joey
      (groans in disgust) Wow, it's really long.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (ignoring him) Anyway, Ralph just came in to tell me that he's so happy with my work that he wants me to be the new merchandising manager for polo retail.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Still get a discount on wedding dresses?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah!
    • monica
    • Monica
      I'm so happy for you!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, these really are the days of our lives.
    • monica
    • Monica
      What?!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, since you ask. They want me back on Days of Our Lives!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (gasps) Oh God!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I got-I get a big pay raise!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh hey!
    • joey
    • Joey
      I'll be playing Drake Remoray's twin brother, Stryker!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oooh!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I get to hire my own assistant!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Ahhh!!
    • joey
    • Joey
      (jumps up) Well-I got a head rush from standing up to fast right there.
    • new scene
    • Scene 3

      Rachel's New Office, she's interviewing a potential new assistant, Hilda.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (reading the resume) And you were at this job for four years?
    • Hilda
      That's right.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, um I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay?
    • Hilda
      What?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I've never interviewed anyone before. I've actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isn't the same thing.
    • Hilda
      No dear. It's not.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No. Yeah, and I know that. All right, well thank you so much for coming in it was nice to meet you.
    • Hilda
      Thank you! Good meeting you.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      All right. (Hilda exits) I'm a total pro!
    • (There's a knock on the door and a handsome man enters.)
    • Man
      Hello?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (seeing him) Wow! H-umm! Hi! Yes, uh I'm sorry the models are actually down the hall.
    • Man
      Actually, I'm here about the assistant job.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Really?! (Taking his resume) Okay well then, all right, well just have a seat there. Umm, so what's-what is-what's your name?
    • Man
      Tag Jones.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Uh-huh, go on.
    • Tag
      That's it. That's my whole name.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      That's your whole name, okay of course it is! Okay, well let's-let's just have a look-see here. (Looking at his resume)
    • Tag
      I know I haven't worked in an office before, and I really don't have a lot of experience, but uh...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh come on, what are you talking about? You've got three years painting houses. Two whole summers at T.G.I. Friday's, come on!
    • Tag
      It's lame, I know. But I'm a goal-oriented person, very eager to learn...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) I'm sorry, it's for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
    • new scene
    • Scene 4

      Central Perk, Chandler is sitting on the couch when some unknown guy comes in and sits in their easy chair.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No-no-no-no. (Waves him away as Monica and Phoebe enter whispering to each other.) Hey! (Monica shushes him.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      (To Monica) Anyway, I should go. Okay, bye.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (To Chandler) Hey sweetie.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hi sweetie. So, what was with all the whispering?
    • monica
    • Monica
      I can't tell you. It's a secret.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Secret? Married people aren't supposed to have secrets between one another. We have too much love and respect for one another.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Awww. (Kisses him.) But still no.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No I'm serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Really? Okay, so why don't you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh no-no, I can't do that.
    • monica
    • Monica
      If you tell me, I'll tell you what Phoebe said.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Okay.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Okay.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, we're on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh my God. He threw up?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No, he visited a little town south of throw up. (Monica laughs hysterically.) So what was Phoebe's secret?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebe's old massage place is getting fired.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That's it?! I gave up my Disneyland story for that?
    • monica
    • Monica
      That's right! You lose sucker!! (Pause) Please still marry me.
    • new scene
    • Scene 5

      Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Chandler, you have an assistant right?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (angrily) Did she call? You-you told her I was sick right? Always tell her I am sick!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      No, I-I just don't know how you decide who to hire. I mean I've got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then there's this guy...
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      What about him?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I love him. He's so pretty I wanna cry! I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Come on you know what to do! You hire the first one! You don't hire an assistant because they're cute, you hire them because they're qualified.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Uh-huh. No, I hear what you're saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense but can I just say one more thing? (Takes out his picture.) Look how pretty!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Let's see. (Looking at the picture) Oh my God! Oh... But no! No! You can't-you can't hire him, because that-it's not professional. Umm, this is for me (The picture) yes? Thanks. (Puts it in her pocket.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Okay you're right. I'll hire Hilda tomorrow. Dumb old perfect for the job Hilda!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Don't show this to Monica! And don't tell her about the W-H-Wow!
    • new scene
    • Scene 6

      The Days of Our Lives producer's office, Joey is entering to find Terry there.

    • Terry
      Hey-hey-hey Joey!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey Terry!
    • Terry
      Good to see you again!
    • joey
    • Joey
      It's been a while, huh? Wow, it's funny these halls look smaller then they used to.
    • Terry
      It's a different building.
    • joey
    • Joey
      So! Stryker Remoray huh? When do you want me to start?
    • Terry
      Why don't we start right now!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Okay.
    • Terry
      Here are the audition scenes. (Holds out the script.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
    • Terry
      Why would you think that?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Stryker's twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
    • Terry
      Everybody has to audition.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Y'know Terry, I-I don't really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
    • Terry
      I'm sorry Joey that's...that's the way it is.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well. I guess you think you're pretty special huh? Sittin' up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin' stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well y'know what? (Throws the script away) This is one star who's hoop... This is a star that the hoop-this hoop-I was Dr. Drake Remoray!
    • new scene
    • Scene 7

      Rachel's office, she's there as Tag knocks on the door and enters carrying a plant.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hi! Tag. What are you doing here?
    • Tag
      I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there aren't any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first... (Notices her plant) There is a plant in your office.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Kinda.
    • Tag
      Right. So I guess I shouldn't put good at noticing stuff on my resume. (Sets the plant down on her desk.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh-ohh, thank you.
    • Tag
      Anyway, I'm guessing you hired somebody.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well...
    • Tag
      Gotcha. Thanks again for meeting with me. (Starts to leave.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      But I hired you!
    • Tag
      What?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah! You-you got the job! You're my new assistant!
    • Tag
      I am?!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah!
    • Tag
      I can't believe it!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Me either. Umm, all right, first thing I need you to do is go downstairs and find a women named Hilda and tell her to go home.
    • new scene
    • Scene 8

      Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is setting the table for dinner as Chandler enters.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey! Good, you're home!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh it's always nicer to here than, "Aw crap! You again!"
    • monica
    • Monica
      Hey baby. (Kisses him.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey.
    • monica
    • Monica
      I made you a surprise.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Oh yeah?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah, tacos! Ever since you told me that story I've had such a craving for them.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Did you not understand the story?
    • ross
    • Ross
      (entering) Hey!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey! What's up?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Ross!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh, nothin' much. Just trying to figure out what I'm gonna do for dinner.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Huh.
    • ross
    • Ross
      (notices the table) Hey-Ooh! What's-what's that, dinner stuff? You making dinner?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      No! (The oven dings.) Shhh!
    • ross
    • Ross
      What you got over there? Tacos?
    • monica
    • Monica
      No! No. They're umm... They're just uh...ground beef smileys. (Holding up one of the shells.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Uhh, those are tacos.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Excuse me Mr. Mexico.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Eh, either way I'll pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still can't eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) What's so funny?!
    • monica
    • Monica
      (trying not to laugh) I'm not laughing.
    • (Ross and Chandler move closer to her and she starts laughing again.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      (To Chandler) You told her!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Nancy Thompson's getting fired! (Monica slaps him on the shoulder.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      (To Monica) Look, okay-okay I had food poisoning! It's not like I choose to do it! It's not like-It's not like I said, "Umm, what would make this ride more fun?!"
    • monica
    • Monica
      You're right. I mean I'm sorry. Yeah, I shouldn't be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! (Runs off laughing which gets Chandler laughing.)
    • ross
    • Ross
      (To Chandler) How could you tell her?!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      I had too okay?! We're getting married! Married couples can't keep secrets from one another!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh really? Well I-I guess Monica should know about Atlantic City.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Du-ude!
    • monica
    • Monica
      (running up to Ross) What happened in Atlantic City?!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Well, Chandler and I are in a bar...
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Did you not hear me say, "Du-ude?!"
    • ross
    • Ross
      And this girl is making eyes at Chandler, okay? So after awhile he-he goes over to her and uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you're thinking, Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls, and you're right, Chandler's not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with...girls.
    • monica
    • Monica
      (To Chandler) You kissed a guy?!! Oh my God.
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh Mon, I laughed so hard...
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ho-ho, so hard we had to throw out your underwear again?
    • ross
    • Ross
      Whatever dude, you kissed a guy.
    • COMMERCIAL BREAK
    • new scene
    • Scene 9

      Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is giving Joey a massage as Rachel enters.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hi!
    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hey-Ooh, how's Hilda? Is she working out?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ohh, my new assistant is working out, yes.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Was she happy you gave her the job?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, my-my new assistant has very happy that I hired my new assistant.
    • (The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
    • joey
    • Joey
      (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) It's the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next week's script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like they're taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) We're not even shootin' them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Sorry.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      I'm sorry Joey.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Why would they do that?! It was a good show right?!
    • (Phoebe and Rachel both pause, look at each other, and go press their breasts against him. Which Joey doesn't mind, of course.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 10

      Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.

    • chandler
    • Chandler
      You wanna tell secrets?! Okay! Okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers!
    • ross
    • Ross
      All right! All right! Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Ross came in forth and cried!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Oh my God! (Laughing)
    • ross
    • Ross
      Oh, is that funny?! Oh, you-you find that funny?! Well maybe Chandler should know some of your secrets too!
    • monica
    • Monica
      I-I already told him everything! (Threateningly) You shush!!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box she'd made.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Monica couldn't tell time 'til she was 13!
    • monica
    • Monica
      It's hard for some people!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (To Monica) Of course it is. (Mouths to Ross) Wow-whoa!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Chandler one time wore my underwear to work!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Hey!!!
    • monica
    • Monica
      Ohh, I'm sorry I couldn't think of anymore for Ross!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Ohh! Ohh! In college, Chandler got drunk and slept with the lady who cleaned our dorm!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      That was you!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Whatever dude, you kissed a guy.
    • new scene
    • Scene 11

      Joey and Rachel's, Joey is still bumming about cancellation of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.

    • joey
    • Joey
      How could this happen to me?! Yesterday I had two TV shows! Today, I got nothin'!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well wait a minute, what happened to Days of Our Lives?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Uh, well they might be a little mad at me over there.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      What happened?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Well maybe I got a little upset and maybe I told them where they could go.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Joey, why would you do that?
    • joey
    • Joey
      Because they wanted me to audition!
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      You! An actor?! That's madness!
    • new scene
    • Scene 12

      Rachel's Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.

    • Tag
      Rachel Green's office. (Hangs up.)
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Tag? (He turns and looks at her.) Hi, who was that?
    • Tag
      (shyly) Nobody. I was just practicing.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Really? (Giggles.)
    • (Phoebe rounds the corner.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Hi!
    • Tag
      Hi! Rachel Green's office.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      You must be Hilda.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah, this is Tag. Tag, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, can I see you for a second? (Goes into office.)
    • Tag
      Phoebe! That's a great name.
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (grabbing Phoebe) Okay. We'll be right back. (They go into her office and she closes the door.)
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      So you hired yourself a little treat did ya?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      All right I know, I know how it looks Pheebs, but I'm telling you...
    • phoebe
    • Phoebe
      But-but you know you cannot get involved with your assistant.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that I've ever done. But I'm telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. (There's a knock on the door.) Yes?
    • (Kathy enters (Because she's listed in the credits).)
    • Kathy
      Hey Rachel!
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Hi!
    • Kathy
      Cute assistant! What's his story? Is he...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Gay? Yeah. (Kathy leaves dejectedly.)
    • new scene
    • Scene 13

      Terry's office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.

    • joey
    • Joey
      Hey! Terry.
    • Terry
      Joey Tribbiani! I'm surprised your big head could fit through our small halls! (Gets up) I gotta go Joey.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Wait! Terry! Wait-Look-Wait I-I... Look, I'm really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking I'm too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance.
    • Terry
      I can't help you Joey.
    • joey
    • Joey
      Wait! Terry! Please! Look, I just lost my other job. Okay? You have no idea how much I need this. Please, help me out, for old times sake.
    • [Cut to a hospital room set on the Days of Our Lives stage. Two nurses are standing next to a bed with a man whose face is completely covered in bandages and reading his chart.]
    • Nurse #1
      This poor guy's been in a coma for five years. It's hopeless.
    • Nurse #2
      It's not hopeless! Dr. Stryker Remoray's a miracle worker. Look, here he comes.
    • (Stryker enters, only it's not Joey playing him.)
    • Dr. Stryker Remoray
      Good morning. (He walks over to the bed, leans down, and whispers to him.) Drake, it's your brother Stryker. Can you hear me?
    • The Director
      And cut!
    • joey
    • Joey
      (jumping up and removing the bandages) I'm back baby! Ha-ha-ha!
    • new scene
    • Scene 14

      Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are sitting there and not talking to each other.

    • monica
    • Monica
      Y'know, in my defense, umm there was no glitter on the macaroni and very little glue.
    • ross
    • Ross
      And in my defense, the cleaning lady came on to me!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      (To Monica) You have no trouble telling time now right?
    • monica
    • Monica
      No!
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Quick! What time is it?! (Holds his watch in front of her face.)
    • monica
    • Monica
      I don't know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Y'know when I said that because we're getting married that we should share everything and not have any secrets?
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah?
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah that was stupid. Let's not do that.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Ohh, absolutely.
    • ross
    • Ross
      And! We should keep all the stuff uh, we told each other secret from everybody else.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Yeah, definitely!
    • ross
    • Ross
      Okay, (gets up) if you'll excuse me, I-I'm gonna go hang out with some people who don't know the Space Mountain story.
    • monica
    • Monica
      Then, I'd steer clear of Phoebe.
    • ross
    • Ross
      Man! (Monica mouths, "I'm sorry.")
    • chandler
    • Chandler
      Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldn't hang out with...all the guys in my office.
    • (Ross storms out.)
    • CLOSING CREDITS
    • new scene
    • Scene 15

      Rachel's office, she's looking at a picture of Tag when he knocks and enters.

    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (noticing him) Hi! (Puts the pictures away.)
    • Tag
      Do you have a minute?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Well yeah, sure, what's up?
    • Tag
      I got asked out twice today when I was at lunch...by guys.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh really?!
    • Tag
      Yeah. Did you tell someone that I was gay?
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Oh, did you not want people to know that?
    • Tag
      But I'm not gay. And I especially wouldn't want you to think I was gay.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Why's that?
    • Tag
      I don't think I should say.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Ohh, you can say. Come on, I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me things. (Motions for him to sit down.)
    • Tag
      Okay.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      'Kay.
    • Tag
      Well...
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      Yeah.
    • Tag
      I'd love to ask out your friend Phoebe.
    • rachel
    • Rachel
      (Pause) Yeah, she's gay.
    • END