Now, I was thinking the other day about hair, and that the weird Thing about it, is that people will touch other people's hair. You will actually kiss another human being, right on the head. But, if one of those hairs should somehow be able to get out of that skull, and go off on its own, it is now the vilest, most disgusting thing that you can encounter. The same hair. People freak out. (horrified) "There was a hair, in the egg salad!"
(George sits on the couch with a newspaper, Jerry stands.)
(The phone rings. Jerry answers.)
(He hangs up the phone.)
(George rises, and he and Jerry collect their jackets and make their way to the door.)
(Jerry and George leave.)
(Jerry and George stroll along, continuing their conversation.)
(They stop walking.)
(Jerry smiles and waves to Elaine, who is approaching with Wendy. Elaine waves back.)
(George waves away the compliment.)
(Jerry and George walk and meet Elaine and Wendy. Wendy greets Jerry with a kiss on the cheek, which he's not happy about. Wendy is attractive, but has a real old-fashioned fifties-style hairdo.)
(Wendy and George shake hands.)
(Wendy takes a brief glance at George's proffered limb. Elaine isn't happy that George is bothering Wendy.)
(Wendy fishes in her bag and hands a card to George.)
(Wendy walks away down the street.)
(George, Jerry and Elaine enter.)
(The trio sit down in a booth.)
(Elaine indicates underneath George's nostrils.)
(Kramer enters.)
(Kramer strolls over to the table.)
(Kramer sits at the table. Elaine starts to peruse her menu, as Kramer speaks to Jerry)
(Leo is in the living room, speaking with Nana, who's in another room.)
(There is a knock at the door. Leo opens it, to reveal Jerry.)
(Nana enters with a bottle of ketchup.)
(There's a brief pause, as Leo waits for something.)
(Nana holds out the ketchup.)
(Jerry and Leo begin to struggle for possession of the ketchup.)
(Leo hands the ketchup back to Nana.)
(Nana walks away out of the room again.)
(Jerry is staring at Leo, with an expression of suspicion.)
(Leo continues to force out laughter, and Jerry continues his look of mistrust.)
(Kramer is rooting through a drawer, searching for something. The door opens and Jerry and Elaine enter.)
(Kramer heads out the door, but Elaine intercepts him.)
(Kramer smiles at this. He exits, but turns to flash the smile at Elaine as he crosses the hall to his apartment. After Kramer goes into his place, Elaine shuts the door of Jerry's apartment.)
(The phone rings, and Jerry picks up. Elaine removes her coat.)
(Jerry by the kitchen. The buzzer sounds, and Jerry answers.)
(Elaine enters from the bathroom.)
(There's a knock at the door.)
(Jerry holds up his hands, indicating he wants a few seconds to prepare. He goes to the refrigerator, and indicates Elaine should let Wendy inside. Elaine opens the door and Wendy enters.)
(Jerry has the door of the fridge open, and his head is inside the appliance.)
(Wendy wanders over to the fridge.)
(Jerry holds out his arm, with a bottle in his hand.)
(Jerry starts to withdraw his head from the fridge, and Wendy is poised for the kiss hello. But, just as he turns to face her, he opens the freezer compartment and the door blocks her approach. Wendy walks away to the couch.)
(Jerry peers around the edge of the door, to see if the coast is clear. Finding that it is, he closes the various doors of the fridge.)
(There is a clunk in the hallway, as of Kramer's door opening.)
(Jerry's door opens and Kramer enters. He's holding a polaroid camera.)
(Jerry turns at the call of his name, and Kramer fires off a quick shot.)
(Kramer does looks at Wendy, and something intrigues him. He turns away, Then back again, unable to take his eyes off her hair.)
(Jerry and Elaine both look surprised and let-down by Kramer.)
(Kramer raises his camera to take a picture of Wendy and her hair.)
(Kramer presses the button and nothing happens. He turns the camera up, to look at the front of it and it chooses to fire at that moment, dazzling Kramer with the flash.)
(George is at the counter with his cheque book. He's moving his wrist and lower arm, clearly much more comfortable.)
(George heads for the door. The receptionist looks at George's cheque and finds it's not up to scratch.)
(Wendy enters, carrying a file. She overhears.)
(Wendy walks out, into another room.)
(George leaves, slamming the door behind him.)
(Kramer has covered one wall of the lobby with photographs of the tenants. They're all labeled with the appropriate name in magic marker. Kramer is just completing Jerry's name underneath the Polaroid he took earlier. Jerry and Elaine enter from the street.)
(Elaine seems generally positive, Jerry's not so enamoured, especially by his own picture.)
(The Polaroid has caught Jerry with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide. It's not flattering in the slightest.)
(The elevator opens and a guy (Steve) steps out. He points to Kramer.)
(Kramer turns to the wall of pictures, searches around for the face and then points back. Steve makes his way to the door as Kramer speaks.)
(A woman (Mary) has entered from the street. She stands behind Jerry and looks through Kramer's gallery of tenants.)
(Mary leans across and gives Jerry a quick kiss on the cheek, then makes her way toward the door. Elaine is giggling gleefully at Jerry's discomfiture.)
(Jerry is collecting his mail from his mailbox. A woman (Joan) enters and immediately goes for the kiss hello. She's friendly and overfamiliar.)
(Jerry backs away toward the elevator.)
(The elevator comes down, the door opens and another woman (Louise) emerges, with a big friendly smile for Jerry.)
(Louise also kisses the less than happy looking Jerry.)
(Louise walks on and the unhappy Jerry enters the elevator.)
(Jerry has just arrived with his mail. The door opens and Kramer darts into the room.)
(As Jerry reaches the end of his emphatic declaration, Kramer takes Jerry's head in his hands, leans in and plants a big kiss right on Jerry's lips. Halfway through the kiss, the door opens and George half-enters. Kramer releases Jerry, who stands bug-eyed with shock. George stands silently in the doorway, he looks from Jerry to Kramer, with a thoughtful expression. Biting his lips, George slowly backs out of the door and closes it behind him.)
(Jerry enters his building. Mary spots him from across the lobby and closes for a kiss hello.)
(Jerry backs away from the kiss with so much effort that he's up against the mailboxes.)
(Mary looks upset by Jerry's outburst.)
(The door to the street opens and Louise enters, also friendly and aiming for the kiss hello.)
(Jerry backs sharply away from Louise as she leans in for the kiss.)
(Jerry backs into the elevator.)
(The elevator doors open and Jerry and Kramer come out. Something on the wall opposite catches Jerry's eye.)
(Jerry points and walks over to Kramer's gallery, Kramer following.)
(The photograph has been crudely vandalised with a magic marker. 'Grade-A Dork' has been written on the forehead, whiskers, spots, horns and a wormlike tongue added and teeth blacked out.)
(Behind Kramer a guy (Jack) has entered the building. Jack walks up behind Kramer and slaps him on the shoulder in a friendly fashion.)
(Jack gives Jerry an unfriendly look and walks to the elevator without replying. Julio comes out of the elevator, and Jerry walks over to ask him something.)
(Julio stalks away. Jerry swings to give Kramer a look.)
(George is talking with Wendy at the counter.)
(Behind George, Elaine has slipped in the door.)
(George spots Elaine.)
(George stalks past Elaine and exits.)
(Behind Elaine, George is standing in the open door)
(Elaine and George, united, head for the door. AS they get there, Elaine turns to deliver her parting shot.)
(Jerry and Buddy sit on the bench, reminiscing.)
(Just then, Uncle Leo strolls up the path to the nursing home. Jerry spots his arrival.)
(Leo's caught out, and looks worried.)
(Jerry enters from the street. Steve is in the lobby, collecting his mail. Jerry decides to be friendly.)
(Steve turns to Jerry, gives him a disdainful look, and turns away again. Another guy (Jeff) approaches from within the building. Jerry tries the friendly approach again.)
(Jeff completely blanks Jerry and goes to get his mail. Jerry spots Mary over by Kramer's gallery wall, and walks across to her.)
(Mary moves to avoid Jerry.)
(Jerry looks downcast. Mary walks over to the mailboxes, where she greets Jeff and Steve.)
(Mary and Jeff kiss hello.)
(Mary and Pete kiss hello.)
(The three of them exit together chatting happily, watched by a rueful Jerry. Jerry looks at his photo on the wall and adjusts it so it's straight. Then Jerry notices the elevator is about to go up, so he asks a favour of the occupant as he crosses the lobby.)
(But Paul makes no move to hold the door, which shuts in Jerry's face.)
(A happy looking guy pushes his way past Kramer and out of the apartment.)
(An attractive redheaded woman comes along the hallway. Kramer greets her approach.)
(Jerry tries to see around Kramer into his apartment.)
(Kramer closes the door, and Jerry can be seen peering through the narrowing gap until it shuts.)
