The Scofflaw

The big new accessory with eyeglasses, seems to be that strap, that connects in the back so you can take 'em on and off. Which I don't get, because I thought, if you have glasses, isn't that because you need to wear glasses? 'You need glasses', isn't that what they say? I mean, an eye doctor doesn't say 'Would you care for some glasses?' When people have crutches, they don't have like a little chain attached to their belt, so they can just let go of 'em every now and then. Why not get a toupee with a rubber band for when you're water-skiing, the thing could just... (mimes semi-airborne wig with hand)

(George hurrying along, he passes Gary who recognises him.)

(A cop, with an eye patch, is writing a ticket for a car. Kramer is about to cross the street. He waits for a car to pass. As it passes, a tray of litter is tossed from its window and lands near Kramer.)

(The cop hears this and turns to see who said it. As he does so, the car he is ticketing starts up and speeds away.)

(Kramer takes advantage of the distraction to run away.)

(George enters. He looks disquieted.)

(Kramer grabs George in a headlock.)

(He releases George from the headlock and exits, but he closes the door slowly and can be seen peering in through the decreasing gap until it finally shuts completely. Jerry and George watch him until the door is closed.)

(Jerry shrugs.)

(The door opens and Elaine enters. She senses a conversation has just ceased.)

(Door opens and Kramer enters. He sees Elaine.)

(A queue of people wait to have their hardbacks signed by Jake Jarmel, who sits at a table, wearing spectacles with dark oval frames. Kramer is having his copy signed.)

(George and Gary sit in a booth. Among the other customers is an attractive woman sitting in the corner, reading a book.)

(Kramer is talking to the eyepatch-wearing cop.)

(Kramer and Jerry sit on the couch, Elaine in the chair. Kramer and Elaine are talking, Jerry reads a magazine.)

(Elaine gathers her stuff together, ready to leave.)

(George enters as Kramer and Elaine leave. He closes the door behind him.)

(Jake Jarmel is at the same table as before. Elaine is talking to him. There are other people queuing behind her.)

(George and Jerry turn their backs to other and angrily stalk away from each other.)

(Jerry enters. He looks around for Gary, and does a double-take as he see him sitting in a booth, wearing a wig.)

(Jerry can be seen struggling against his instincts. He hears George's words from earlier.)

(Jerry leans forward and opens his mouth, but he's not happy about it.)

(Kramer enters. He's wearing an eyepatch like the cop's.)

(Kramer goes to shake Gary by the hand, but due to his impaired vision, he misses by several inches at the first attempt. He lifts the patch up to restore his depth perception. They shake, and Gary leaves to talk to the 'girl who never talks'. Kramer moves to sit in the vacant seat.)

(Kramer sits down, misjudges the seat and almost slides under the table. He upsets plates and glasses.)

(Elaine is running after a guy who is indeed wearing identical spectacles to Mr Jarmel.)

(Jerry and Kramer in their booth.)

(Gary returns from talking to the 'girl who never talks'.)

(The eye patch-wearing cop spots a familiar Dodge.)

(He moves in for the kill.)

The guy Elaine bought the glasses from is peering blurrily about. It's clear he

can barely see anything. He steps between cars and out into the road.

(The sound of tires squealing is heard from outside, followed immediately by the crash of cars colliding. Kramer leaps to his feet and heads out to investigate.)

(The cop has obviously been distracted by the same noises whilst writing a ticket. The scofflaw has taken advantage, and the Dodge squeals away, passing Kramer as he emerges from Monk's.)

(Jake still at the signing table. People still queuing. Elaine skips past the queue.)

(Jake thumps the desk in frustrated rage.)

(Newman is sitting alone. The door opens and Kramer jumps in.)

(Newman puts the car in gear and sets off.)

(George and Jerry, walking together.)

(Elaine and Mr Lippman, sitting in a booth.)

(Newman stands before a female Judge. Kramer stands beside him. There are the usual personnel for a courtroom.)

(Newman bursts into anguished tears.)

(Newman's sobbing reaches new heights.)

(The judge peers at Kramer. She does not look impressed by this statement.)

(George, Jerry and a Salesman, wearing a substandard toupee, are in a fitting room (?). George is sitting before a mirror, trying on a wig, assisted by the salesman, while Jerry looks on.)

(The door opens and Gary enters. He's humming to himself.)

(The salesman/Tommy leaves.)

(Jerry gives a questioning look to George, who responds with a 'go ahead' expression.)

(We see George continuing to admire himself as, off-camera, Gary and Jerry are heard struggling for possession of Gary's wig.)

(Typical number of customers. George enters, wearing his new toupee. One or two of the staff give him a glance. He looks around, and taps the counter by the cash register. A beautiful brunette sitting at the nearest table give him an admiring look.)

(She pushes the chair opposite her out from the table in an invitation for George to sit down. George looks pleasantly surprised by the beneficial effects of his hairpiece.)

(Mr Lippman and Jake Jarmel are on a small stage with a lectern. In front of it are a group of reporters and, amongst them sits Elaine.)

(There is a brief ripple of applause as Jake steps up to take questions.)

(Several of the reporters laugh, as does Jake. Mr Lippman steps back to the lectern. He has some notes, and is extracting his glasses from his pocket.)

(He tries to pull them from Lippman's face, and a struggle ensues. Jake can be heard demanding the glasses. The reporters endeavour to get a view of the noisy fracas. Elaine rises and begins to make her way toward the exit. She is apologetic to her neighbour.)