The Cafe

You know there's like always one, location in your neighborhood, one store location that's constantly, changing hands. Everybody has this in their neighborhood, it's a leather store, then it's a yogurt shop, then it's a pet supply. It's like constantly changing and nobody can do business there. It's like some sort of Bermuda triangle of retail, you know? Stores open up and then they just disappear without a trace. Nobody knows what happened to 'em. I guess eventually when like aliens land in the mother ship from Close Encounters, the bottom will slowly open and all these store owners will come wondering out, in a daze going ?I thought there would be more walk-in traffic didn't you??

GEORGE AND JERRY ARE STANDING OUTSIDE IN THE STREET. ACROSS THE STREET THERE IS A RESTAURANT CALLED DREAM CAFE. SIGN SAYS GRAND OPENING.

JERRY'S APARTMENT. JERRY IS WATCHING DREAM CAFE WITH BINOCULARS AND ELAINE IS READING A NEWSPAPER.

BUZZER RINGS AND JERRY LOOKS AT AND MOTIONS WITH HIS ARM TO ELAINE WHO IS CLOSER TO THE DOOR.

ELAINE OPENS UP THE NEWSPAPER AND STARTS LEAFING THROUGH IT, READING SOME ARTICLES WHILE STILL MAINTAINING HER PART OF THE CONVERSATION

DREAM CAFE. BABU ANXIOUSLY LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW. JERRY COMES IN.

(Monica leaves and George runs to the window where Elaine is waiting outside.)

GEORGE GIVES ELAINE THE THUMBS UP, CLOSES THE WINDOW AND THEN GIVES HER THE OK SIGN.

JERRY IS EATING AT THE DREAM CAFE. BABU FILLS THE WATER FOR JERRY.

ELAINE COMES IN CARRYING THE ENVELOPE WITH THE IQ TEST AND A PENCIL IN HER MOUTH.

(Elaine is opening an envelope and is very excited.)

KRAMER SITTING DOWN AT THE TABLE NEXT TO ELAINE - HE SITS A BIT TOO HARD AND SHAKES THE TABLE -- SILVERWARE AND PLATES RATTLE ... MUSTARD BOTTLE TEETERING - THUS STARTLING ELAINE, WHO STOPS THE TEST FOR A MOMENT, BUT GETS RIGHT BACK TO IT.

KRAMER TAKES SOME NACHOS AND SPILLS SOME OF THEM ON THE IQ TEST.

MONICA'S. GEORGE IS READING A NEW YORKER ON THE BED AND MONICA IS TRYING TO GET IN. THE DOOR IS LOCKED.

DREAM CAFE. BABU IS CLEANING AND SINGING -- JERRY IS SEEMINGLY ENJOYING BABU'S SINGING AS ELAINE GETS DISTRACTED FROM THE IQ TEST.

BABU COMES TO COLLECT DISHES FROM ELAINE'S TABLE AND KNOCKS DOWN A CUP OF COFFEE.

BABU SITS DOWN AT THE TABLE AND JERRY SITS DOWN ACROSS FROM HIM

JERRY (thinking) I am such a great guy. Who else would've gone through the trouble of helping this poor immigrant? I am special. My mother was right. Of course I've never had Pakistani food. How bad it could be?

GEORGE SPREADS HIS ARMS WIDE, ELBOWS SLIGHTLY BENT -- HIS HEAD BOBBLES A LITTLE BIT.

JERRY LAUGHS, POUNDING THE WINDOW SILL 3 TIMES WITH HIS OPEN PALM.

JERRY (mocking) It was a madhouse.

DREAM CAFE. BABU IS AT THE WINDOW LOOKING GLOOMY. JERRY COMES IN.

JERRY (thinking) Very good? No, not very good, very great. I am very, very great.

You know the IQ test, an they always have that sample question at the beginning where they show you how to fill in the circle. This should be the first elimination point right there. Anybody goes outside that circle,... ?Yeah, you wanna come with us please. Yeah, yeah you're done, your test is over, you went outside the circle ok??

JERRY'S APARTMENT. ELAINE FINISHES THE TEST, SLAPS DOWN THE PENCIL AND STUFFS THE TEST BACK IN THE ENVELOPE. SHE CHECKS HER WATCH FOR THE TIME, STRETCHES HER ARMS ABOVE HER HEAD.

(3 more Bangs on the door)

MONICA'S APARTMENT. GEORGE IS LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW. 3 LIGHT KNOCKS ON THE BEDROOM DOOR

GEORGE ANXIOUS AND QUIETLY FRUSTRATED -- HE RELUCTANTLY OPENS THE DOOR.

GEORGE SHAKES HER HAND AND CLASPING HIS LEFT HAND OVER HERS -- CREATING A HAND SANDWICH.

MONICA'S. ELAINE IS GENTLY TAPPING ON THE BEDROOM WINDOW. MONICA COMES TO OPEN IT.

AT THE STREET. DREAM CAFE HAS A CLOSED SIGN ON THE WINDOW AND MEN ARE CARRYING FURNITURE OUT.

GEORGE, JERRY AND KRAMER ARE STANDING ACROSS THE STREET. KRAMER HAS NO JACKET ON.

(George and Elaine give Jerry a long look.)

It's tough to do a good deed. Let's look at your professional good deed doers. Your Lone Rangers, your Superman, your Batman, your Spiderman, your Elasticman. They're all wearing disguises, masks over their faces. Secret identities. Don't want people to know who they are. It's too much aggravation. "Superman, yeah, thanks for saving my life, but did you have to come through my wall? I'm rentin' here, They got a security deposit. What am I supposed to do?"