The Bottle Deposit (Part 1) Script

1 ContributorThe Bottle Deposit (Part 1) Script LyricsEpisode 131 – The Bottle Deposit (1)… Read More OPENING MONOLOGUE

Mr Wilhelm is hurrying along a corridor, with George trailing in his wake. As Wilhelm speaks, George is making notes onto a pad and looking flustered.

Wilhelm wanders across the corridor, thinking to himself, he opens the door to the men's room and strolls through.

George starts to follow Wilhelm into the men's room, but thinks better of it. He wonders briefly what to do, then leans against the wall by the door, to await Wilhelm's return.

Elaine sits behind her desk working at her computer. Mr Peterman enters. He's carrying an auction house catalogue.

He drops the catalogue on the surprised Elaine's desk and exits.

George still waits outside the men's room. He's been waiting a while. He looks at his watch and decides to go in. As he enters, he finds Wilhelm emerging from a stall, and still talking.

Wilhelm washes his hands, while George looks panicky and opts to bluff it out.

George throws up his arms in despair.

Jerry and George stand. George is explaining what happened.

The door opens and Kramer enters, followed by Newman. Kramer is carrying a large can of some foodstuff, from which he is eating the odd morsel. Newman has a pack of soda (mellow yellow?), and is swigging from one of the bottles.

Newman finishes his soda and drops the bottle in Jerry's bin.

Kramer and Newman sit on Jerry's couch. Kramer has TV Guide, Newman still reading the bottle.

George leaves. Jerry exits to the bedroom.

Jerry exits, shaking his head.

An auction room, with several rows of seating facing a platform with a lectern for the auctioneer. Many people sit or stand around, with catalogues and numbered paddles for making bids. Jerry and Elaine enter.

Sue Ellen notices them, and comes over.

Sue Ellen walks away to her seat. Elaine and Jerry make their way to their seats,

Kramer and Newman are still on Jerry's couch. Kramer is watching TV, While Newman has been working something out on a pad.

A bag of golf clubs is brought onto the platform.

A man behind Elaine raises his paddle to bid.

Elaine raises her paddle to bid.

Sue-Ellen looks thoughtful.

Jerry and Elaine think they've got them.

Sue Ellen looks over at Elaine, with a smirk.

Jerry buries his face in his hands.

Jerry is driving Elaine home. In the back seat, the golf clubs can be seen. There is a persistent clunking sound coming from the car.

The Saab halts outside Elaine's apartment building.

Elaine leaves the car and walks away. Jerry restarts the car, when he notices steam and smoke emerging from under the hood.

Jerry gets out of the car and runs to raise the hood.

Jerry opens the hood of his car. As the smoke and steam clears, it becomes clear there are a variety of comestibles arranged on and around the engine compartment.

Kramer and Newman still occupy the couch.

Jerry and Tony stand beside the Saab. Jerry looks worried and Tony is looking like he's in love with the car. He runs his hands over the roof and along the lines of the bodywork. Tony is a little intense.

Tony isn't hearing Jerry. He climbs into the driver's seat and begins ferreting about.

George stands, silently rehearsing his follow-up question. Wilhelm walks by the window, down the corridor. George takes the plunge.

Wilhelm leaves.

George grabs his jacket, races to the door, checks Wilhelm has gone, and darts off down the corridor.

A meek looking clerk sits behind a counter. George enters.

George is leaning across the counter, trying to hear Wilhelm's side of the converstion.

The clerk puts down the phone. George looks expectant.

Newman sits on his couch. He's using an old mechanical adding machine and a pad to work on permutations for the 'Michigan deposit bottle scam'. There are spools of used paper from the adding machine all over the table and maps of the northeastern states of the US pinned up on the wall. He taps out a series of number, pulls the handle and reads the result, then looks at what he's written on his pad.

Frustrated, he sits back. He notices a framed photograph of his mother. A thought occurs.

He starts typing figures into the adding machine rapidly. He mouths numbers to himself, shrugging as he makes estimates. When he finishes he tears the paper strip from the machine, compares it to figures on his pad.

In celebration he swigs from a bottle of soda.

Newman hurries up to Kramer's door and hammers on it with his fist. He waits a few seconds, then impatiently hammers again.

The door opens to reveal Kramer midway through a shave, holding a razor, with foam on his face.

They embrace joyfully.

A woman puts a soda can on top of a mail box while she reaches into her bag for something to post. A hand reaches from behind the box, picks up the can and disappears back behind the box. The woman is flummoxed by the can's disappearance. Newman stands nonchalantly beside a dumpster with a plastic sack containing some bottles and cans. In the dumpster, Kramer roots about beneath the plastic and cardboard, before coming up and handing a bottle to Newman, who drops it into his sack. In Monk's, a waitress puts a tray of empty bottle onto a shelf behind Kramer, who's eating a meal. As she leaves, he reaches behind him, takes the tray and tips the bottles into another plastic sack. Newman stands in a doorway on the street. A homeless guy pushes a shopping cart full of bottles and cans past. Newman drops a few coins onto the sidewalk, attracting the attention of the homeless guy, who leaves his cart to retrieve the change. Newman darts from the doorway, grabs hold of the cart and races away down the street, leaving the homeless guy shaking a fist and yelling after him. Newman finishes a bottle of soda and hands the empty to Kramer, who hands another bottle to Newman. There's a long line of empty bottles already on the table and Newman's looking close to capacity. As Newman reluctantly begins to drink this latest one, Kramer opens another and taps him on the stomach, causing Newman to splutter and spray soda across the table. A cigar-smoking Kramer and a gleeful Newman, regard the back of a mail truck, filled with plastic sacks of bottles and cans. They slap palms and shake hands as Kramer pulls down the door and flips the handle closed.

George has his head down on his desk. Wilhelm walks jauntily along the corridor and enters the office.

George snaps awake.

Wilhelm leaves.

George and Jerry in a booth.

Jerry enters. He goes to his answering machine and plays the messages.

Jerry looks less than happy at the prospect. The phone rings, and Jerry answers.

Jerry looks a touch anxious as Tony approaches. Tony is still real intense.

Tony walks away into the auto shop. Elaine arrives.

There is the sound of a car starting up, then a squeal of tires and Jerry's Saab emerges from the auto shop at high speed. It passes Jerry and Elaine and Races away down the street. They stare open-mouthed after the car, and at each other in astonishment.