The Airport

...cramped seat, working on a tiny computer; there's always a small problem ``There'll be a slight delay, we'll be a *little* late, if you could be a *little* *patient*! We're just trying to get one of those *little* trucks to pull us up just a *little* closer to the jetway so you can walk down the narrow hallway and there'll be a man there in a tight suit and he'll tell you you have very little time to make your connecting flight. So move it!''.

OPEN WITH JERRY AND ELAINE IN A CAR ON THEIR WAY TO THE AIRPORT. ELAINE IS SINGING A POPPY JAZZ TUNE.

They both chortle, and Jerry is hot so he's taking his coat off, but Elaine refuses to take the wheel and Jerry's hand gets stuck and before you can say "Planes, Trains and Automobiles", they collide head-on with a Snapple truck....

The driver speeds away without our heroes, and he seems pretty happy about it.

Finally inside, they check their luggage...

The two have that uncomfortable politeness that only comes about when you're down to the last piece of pizza. Jerry breaks the silence:

They board the plane, and the flight attendant "welcomes" Elaine aboard.

Then Mr. First class Jerry comes aboard.

Elaine is robbed of her peek into the first class section by a drawn curtain and she goes to her seat. However, someone comes after her and:

Elaine moves over, and he moves in. The guy's got like 5 bags and Laptop.

Jerry gets to his seat, however, he also is in the wrong seat:

They start to "sing", growing more excited after each iteration:

I like to stop at the duty free shop!

MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE PLANE, JERRY AND TIA ARE CHATTING (ISN'T THAT ALWAYS THE WAY? YOU GET STUCK BESIDE SOMEONE WHO INSISTS ON GOING ON AND ON ABOUT THEIR KIDS AND HOW THEIR LIFE DIDN'T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN AND ALL THAT BORING DRECK...

IN TRAFFIC, KRAMER AND GEORGE ARE SURROUNDED BY HONKING CARS AND WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY HEAVY TRAFFIC

BACK IN, UGH, *COACH* (THOSE HEATHENS), THE ANNOYING GUY IS SLEEPING BESIDE HER WHILE THE WOMAN ON HER OTHER SIDE IS READING A BOOK. ELAINE IS LOOKING RATHER, SHALL WE SAY "PENSIVE". SHE TALKS TO HERSELF

[On the bright side, Kramer and George arrive at the airport. They're running to the terminal:

They find an arrival/departure screen

A bearded man comes up to the screen before they go

We cut to the airport gift shop where a man in handcuffs and shackles is being led around by two FBI-looking types

George lifts the last copy from the rack before the con can get it.

George checks out the cover shot which shows a picture of the aforementioned prisoner with the caption ``Caught!'' written below.

Kramer comes into the gift shop and does a Krameresque double-take at "that guy" from the departure screen who's browsing books. He goes up to George.

ELAINE IS STILL PINING FOR THE GUY NEXT TO HER TO WAKE UP SO SHE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM.

Elaine scurries off to the bathroom, Jerry and Tia are enjoying some hot towels on their faces.

They chortle to themselves and tink glasses (no, that's not a cleverly- masked euphemism). Back in the car...

The captain interrupts

Elaine exits the bathroom, exasperated and curiou

BACK TO GEORGE AND KRAMER AT LAGUARDIA; GEORGE HAS BEEN INSIDE TO SEE IF JERRY AND ELAINE ARE THERE, HE REPORTS HIS FINDINGS BACK TO KRAMER IN THE CAR.

Kramer peels out.

They do that "tink" thing again, and we rejoin Elaine going back to her seat, but the other attendant is serving the slop to the unwashed masses in coach and he's in her way.

BACK AT JFK, GEORGE AND KRAMER CHECK OUT THE ARRIVALS BOARD (AGAIN)

BACK IN COACH, ELAINE RETURNS TO HER SEAT NOW THAT THE ATTENDANT IS DONE SERVING.

We get a quick shot of Elaine staring at *something* on the end of her fork with a decidedly unimpressed look. Back in first class

Kramer goes forward and confronts Grossbard. For his part, Grossbard doesn't seem to recognise Kramer from twenty years ago (then again, he apparently had short hair at the time). After trying in vain to reach Grossbard's wallet, Kramer is escorted off the plane. Before this can take place, George knocks on the bathroom door to a reply of ``Just a minute'' from the occupant inside (I bet he stinks). Anyway, the door opens and, surprise! It's the Prisoner without his Time magazine (at least now we know why he needed it so badly-- reading material for the john). Anyway, the guy pulls George into the bathroom (he's still wearing his cuffs and shackles, BTW (that's got to make it rather difficult to go to the bathroom, but I digress)). So, while George is in the can with the serial killer, Kramer is escorted off the plane. Don't worry-- the plane isn't moving yet. And what's up with going to the bathroom on a non-moving plane? Isn't there laws against that? Or is it just trains that you have to wait until they're moving? Who really cares, anyway?

ELAINE SNEAKS INTO FIRST CLASS. SHE JUST GETS SETTLED INTO A COMFY SEAT COMPLETE WITH PILLOW, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN

The outburst has awoken Jerry and Tia who are sharing a blanket and napping

They return to snuggling

KRAMER IS BEING ESCORTED THROUGH THE AIRPORT BY A SECURITY GUY. HE TRIES TO TALK HIS WAY OUT

He breaks free and makes a run for it and seemingly escapes.

JERRY IS GETTING READY FOR DEBOARDING AND HE GLANCES OUT THE WINDOW ONLY TO SEE A RATHER HARRIED KRAMER RUNNING, ARMS FLAILING OUT ON THE RUNWAY. HE TAKES A SECOND LOOK, JUST TO BE SURE.

After they get off the plane, Jerry & Elaine look for the boys and get their baggage

IN HONOLULU, ELAINE'S BAG APPEARS TO BE HAVING A GOOD TIME, REVOLVING AROUND THE BAGGAGE THINGY, COMPLETE WITH LEI.

He seems so sincere. Tia walks by, along with an entourage of photographers.

Enter the K-man through the ramp where the baggage comes out

WE GO TO A SHOT OUTSIDE THE PLANE LOOKING IN ON A RATHER ROUGHED UP GEORGE COSTANZA. HE SCREAMS

But I have to admit, I like flying. I like those little bathrooms that they have on the plane. It's kind of like a small apartment of your own on the plane. You go in, you close the door, the light comes on. It's like a small surprise party every time you go in there. The worst way of flying, I think is "standby", you ever fly standby? It never works, you know, that's why they call it standby-- you stand there going ``Bye!'' So I was on this flight where the flight attendant-- it was her first day on the job so they didn't have a uniform for her yet, and that really... makes a big difference, I mean this is just some regular person coming over to you going ``Would you mind bringing your seat back all the way up?'' It's like, 'Who the Hell are you?!''