So here what we have is two people who hate each other, don't really ever want to talk, but the phone machine is like this relationship respirator keeping these marginal brain dead relationships alive. And we all do it -- Why? So that when we come home, you can see that little flashing red light. You go "all right, messages." You see, people need that. It's very important for human beings to feel they are popular and well liked amongst a large group of people that we don't care for.
Stock shot of Hunan Chinese restaurant at night
(Jerry and Naomi enter Jerry's apartment)
(Jerry goes over to the answering machine and plays the message, then walks back over to the kitchen to get a drink from his bottled water. Naomi sits on the couch looking through the TV Guide, also listening to George's message)
(Naomi smiles. Jerry takes a sip of water)
(Naomi stops reading, looks up, pondering what George just said. Jerry puts down his water and sprints over to the machine)
(Jerry trying to stop the tape -- he rips the answering machine out of the wall plug)
[in Jerry's apartment]
(Kramer enters smoking a cigar)
What do ya be?
(MONKS)
(Kramer enters with golf bag, clubs and outfit, smoking a cigar)
(Susan recoils at his presence)
(2 cars on the road George leading, Jerry following --)
(IN Jerry's car on highway)
(George's car pulls away at a high rate of speed)
(In George's car)
(Jerry's car)
(from George's car)
(Jerry ranting in his car)
(from George's car)
(Jerry's apartment - Kramer enters - singing something undeterminable, he picks up a piece of paper from the counter)
(Kramer's car)
(Kramer points at her and laughs)
(The Sangers' house, on the front porch)
(Susan smooches him - playfully biting George's right ear lobe)
(Highway diner)
(Elaine stares at him and blows a bubble with bubble gum. The waitress comes up to the counter.)
(the waitress turns and walks away)
(the waitress comes back and pulls out a cup and saucer)
(Sanger's house)
(long pause)
(George points at her, understanding what she is saying)
(Highway Diner)
(Donald's room)
(Highway Diner)
(Elaine digging into the roast chicken)
(The waitress hits the picture on the wall with her open hand flush against it)
(Bubble Boy's room - George pulls a Trivial Pursuit card -- The Bubble Boy's right arm ala space suit type arm and a glove at the end to protect him)
(The cabin)
(Kramer opens a window by the front door of the cabin)
( Kramer falls in through the open window knocking over a bunch of stuff)
(Donald's room)
(Susan bursts the bubble)
(hissing sound and Donald's hands leave George's throat)
(Highway Diner)
(Waitress is strangling Jerry, the cook is grabbing Jerry, Elaine is grabbing the cook)
(angry guy enters)
(Elaine and Jerry make their escape)
(The cabin)
(Kramer is smoking a Cuban cigar and testing a fishing rod and reel)
(Kramer sets his burning cigar on the mantle above the fireplace)
(Kramer casts the fishing pole away and pulls it back in -- it hits him in the face, startling himself. Naomi enters in a blue robe with a couple of towels -- she tosses one to Kramer, which he does not catch.)
(Kramer pulls the door behind them as they run out -- Camera shot of the lit cigar -- it falls from the mantle onto a pile of newspapers -- either from the vibration of the door being closed or the vacuum of air being created that causes the cigar to fall -- either way, the cigar was placed on the mantle in a precarious position.)
(The Sanger house)
(George stands in the open front door. The emergency lights can be seen flashing in the reflection of the window -- he motions with both hands to Susan lets go? She comes out the door and he puts his hand to her back as a slight gesture as the walk down the few steps)
(Mel Sanger and his wife exit the house and head off camera towards the emergency vehicles.)
(Two emergency med. techs. pulling a stretcher on wheels out the door with Donald the Bubble Boy? on it. They stop so he can talk to the group.)
(The towns people arrive - about 10 of them)
(Our heroes scrambling -- they run for it)
(Night shot of a fire truck racing down the road, passing cars, sirens blasting, lights flashing)
(Jerry's car -- Jerry's and Elaine)
(Jerry looks as the fire truck passes his car)
(George's car -- Susan looks tired as her head is on the head rest -- she rolls her head to the side to glance at the fire truck cruising by)
(Night shot -- In the woods, a smoky haze, backlit with streams of blue light and smoke through the trees)
(They emerge from the woods -- Susan first carrying a flashlight and a red bag, George with a bag of groceries, Elaine and Jerry follow -- they stand looking at the burning cabin)
(Night shot of the cabin burning)
(Kramer and Naomi arrive wearing their robes, with the towels over their shoulders)
(Night shot of the cabin burning)
[Jerry on stage - Closing monologue]
Something very scary and exciting about fire, ah people always run to see a fire. They're very proud, if they have a fireplace. And I think that's what smoking is really all about. That's the power of smoke it's just this thing (pretends to be smoking) -- ?I got fire right here in my hand. Smoke and fire is literally, coming right out of my mouth.?
And it's very intimidating to the non-smoker, ?cause it's like talking to someone that's going my head could open up, lava could explode out, pour right down my face, doesn't bother me a bit.
And then a cigar is even worse -- I mean a cigar, is like -- you think this end is bad, look at this wet, disgusting, chewed up nub huh -- How scary is that??
