S02E03

Bull Elephants

Full screenplay script transcript for The White Lotus S02E03: Bull Elephants

40 Scenes1096 Lines

Scene 1

Int. White Lotus Resort - Day

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THE WHITE LOTUS

Guest

EPISODE 3

Guest

SEASON II

Good morning.

Guest

May I please have a cup of coffee?

Thank you.

Hello.

Guest

My name's Salvo... and yours?

I see you here often.

I work at the Timeo.

So what? I'm not interested.

This happens every morning.

Guest

Some guy asks me my name

and stares at my tits.

Staff

I want my coffee in peace. Can I ?

Guest

Drink your coffee.

Staff

Thank you.

Guest

You're welcome.

Thank you, Walter.

Have a good day.

Bye.

Guest

Excuse me!

Staff

Hey.

Guest

Hey.

Guest

How was it?

Yeah, good. I got like...

twenty thousand steps.

Yeah? Nice.

Scene 2

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I'm surprised you're awake.

Guest

Well, I know you always

get horny after your run so...

I'm gonna be so good today.

And friendly...

Guest

Why?

Guest

Because you've been accusing me

of being a bitch.

Staff

I never once said bitch.

Guest

Okay. Whatever, I'm not gonna be that.

Guest

He's your bestie from college,

Guest

and you want his approval

for some reason...

Staff

I do not want his approval.

Guest

Which is totally normal and fine.

Guest

And human,

but I'm gonna be so fun.

Guest

I'll be the life of the party

from now on.

Well, don't overdo it.

They'll know it's fake.

Guest

I love them. What?

They're our good friends.

Oh, my God.

Guest

What? You don't think

I can be lovely? Just watch.

Okay, that's for you guys.

Thank you.

Scene 3

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I'm sorry to be so pushy. I just

really need you guys to leave.

Staff

Oh. Yeah.

Guest

See you.

Staff

Bye.

Guest

Bye.

Staff

See you later.

Guest

Yeah.

Staff

Three thousand.

Guest

Are you serious?

Staff

Good morning.

Guest

Morning.

There they are.

Morning.

Staff

Hey.

Guest

Hi.

Staff

How'd you sleep?

Guest

Good. Yeah.

Great.

Guest

Did you guys see the sky

this morning? It was so gorgeous.

Staff

Yeah.

Guest

Yeah. It was.

Staff

I love that top. So cute.

Guest

Oh, thanks.

Guest

You know, I've never seen you

in a headband. It's so pretty.

Thanks.

Scene 4

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It's my new Italian style.

I really like it.

Let's get some food.

I woke up starving. God.

Staff

Do you guys want anything?

Guest

No, I'm good.

Staff

Yeah. I'm good. Thank you.

Guest

Okay.

Staff

Babe, want to come to the buffet?

Guest

Sure. Yeah.

Staff

Do you mind if I...

Guest

No. Please.

Staff

That was fun last night.

Guest

Yeah.

Guest

I did want to come in

and keep hanging out.

Staff

Just so you know.

Guest

Then you should've come in.

Guest

I just don't want to ever make

anyone feel uncomfortable.

Guest

I don't think

Guest

that you're the type of guy

Guest

that could ever make someone

feel uncomfortable in that way.

Guest

You could probably go a little bit

in the other direction, actually.

Guest

Like... more aggressive?

Guest

I can't keep stuffing my face

Scene 5

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at these breakfasts.

Guest

But they're free, you know?

It's such a conundrum.

Guest

Morning. How you doing?

Staff

Who were the girls?

Guest

What girls?

Guest

The two girls I saw coming out

of your room.

Staff

Maybe the maids?

Guest

They didn't look like maids.

They looked like... prostitutes.

Guest

Oh, well, I don't know

what you're talking about.

Guest

Listen, whatever you do,

Guest

please don't say anything

about any of this to Albie.

Guest

Okay? Dad, please?

Look at those cannolis.

I've got to find another job.

Guest

I'm just out of place, you know ?

I've been...

Guest

I've been feeling so depressed

at home and...

Guest

I just thought I come here

and feel something.

Staff

Is everything boring?

Guest

Boring?

No.

Scene 6

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I just feel like there must had been

Guest

a time

when the world had more...

Guest

You know? Like mystery

Guest

or something

Guest

and now you come somewhere

Guest

like this and it's beautiful

Guest

and you take a picture and then

Guest

you realize that everybody

Guest

is taking that exact same picture

Guest

from that exact same spot,

Guest

you just made some redundant

Guest

content for stupid Instagram

Guest

and you can't even get lost anymore

Guest

cause you can find yourself

on Google Maps.

Throw out your phone.

Yeah.

Throw it in the ocean.

God, it is so nice out today.

Guest

What do you guys want to do?

Guest

Well, I've been bugging Cam

to go to Noto.

Guest

It's this beautiful Baroque town,

like two hours from here.

Guest

Has these incredible Palazzos

and artisanal shops.

That sounds cool.

Scene 7

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See?

Harper thinks it sounds cool.

Guest

Honey, come on. I already said

I booked jet skis for me and E.

Staff

Yeah. Do it tomorrow.

Guest

Babe, I want to jet ski.

Guest

I don't know if we're gonna get

this weather again.

We can go to Noto any other day.

Guest

Cam, it's the one thing I said

I really wanted to do here.

Staff

I want to get Christmas presents.

Guest

Jesus Christ. It's July, Daph.

Guest

Christmas shopping?

Guest

You know what?

That's actually fine.

You guys should do your jet skiing.

I'm just gonna go to Noto by myself.

Staff

No, no, no. Come on.

Guest

Babe, it's fine. Honestly.

Guest

Unless you want to come?

Staff

I mean, you don't have to.

Guest

You guys will have fun.

Guest

Yeah, right?

Harper, you should go.

Staff

Oh, yeah. Sure.

Guest

Okay.

Yeah, I'd love to go.

Scene 8

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I mean, everybody says,

Guest

"you gotta go to Noto."

Oh, God, yeah.

You gotta go to Noto.

Great.

Take pictures.

I made a plan for us today.

I planned a tour.

Guest

You planned a tour?

Well, I couldn't sleep last night.

Guest

For some reason,

Guest

there was a lot of noise

coming through the walls.

Guest

Anyway, they have a bunch

of movies you can rent on the TV.

One of them was The Godfather.

Guest

You've seen it, right?

Some of it, I think. Yeah.

Guest

"Some of it"? Francis Ford Coppola

made three of them.

Guest

First two are classics, and they

were shot right around here.

Guest

So I got us a car and driver

Guest

and we're gonna do a tour

of all the locations.

You should come.

Come on now, educate yourself.

Staff

That's okay. I don't...

Scene 9

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Guest

Yeah, you gotta come.

Staff

It's okay, I don't...

Guest

No. You're coming.

She's coming.

I'm being more aggressive.

Guest

But I feel like that if you really

loved me, you wouldn't leave.

I have to.

Guest

Is it the prenup? Is that

why you wanna...

Is it 'cause I had the prenu...

I could get rid of the prenup.

Guest

We can talk about that

when I get back. In two days.

Guest

See? You always look annoyed

with me. You look like that.

Guest

Tanya... You've done

Guest

a lot for me, okay?

You found those doctors.

I'm gonna live because of you.

Guest

But ever since you found out

Guest

that you're gonna have

Guest

a lot more years,

Guest

I feel like you just realized

Guest

that you were gonna be stuck

living them with me.

Couples don't always get along.

You knew I wasn't great at this.

Scene 10

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Staff

I've been married four times.

Guest

Four?

Staff

Tanya?

Guest

I thought it was only three.

Tanya. Four, including you.

I just love you.

Tanya.

Tanya, please.

You're gonna wet your dress.

Come on, get the dress.

Guest

I'll buy it for you! With my half!

Staff

Your half?

Guest

I don't get half?

Guest

You passed out. You didn't

Guest

even sleep with him!

Well, I would have.

You know what they say...

spend money to make money.

Guest

Excuse me, Miss?

Guest

My friend wants

to try on that dress.

Staff

Grazie.

Guest

God, so beautiful.

But please hurry up...

we have other shops to go to.

Staff

Thank you.

Guest

Thank you so much.

I'm gonna miss you.

Scene 11

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Staff

God. Be mature.

Guest

All right.

Guest

Thank you so much

for coming with me.

Staff

Yeah, of course. I'm excited.

Guest

Me too.

Guest

Bye, guys. Have fun!

Staff

Bye, babe.

Guest

Bye.

Staff

Have the most fun ever.

Guest

Ciao!

So exciting.

Guest

Dude, how awesome is this?

Ciao, ladies.

Guest

This is where Michael Corleone

was hiding out.

Guest

Another mafia family was trying

to kill him.

And his wife blew up over there.

Guest

The car was rigged with a bomb

Guest

meant for Michael. But his wife

is gonna drive for some reason.

Guest

Michele? Michele, let's go!

Guest

Please, come on. You promised!

Pacino realizes, he screams...

Guest

No!

Guest

"Apollonia!"

Guest

It's too late. Car explodes,

Scene 12

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she blows up.

It's a great scene.

Staff

She blows up?

Guest

Uh-huh.

Staff

Like, blows up?

Guest

Mm-hmm.

It's a little tasteless maybe.

Guest

Well, look, they're trying

to make a buck.

Guest

They own a house where they shot

the best American movie ever made.

Staff

No, it's not.

Guest

No? Why not? I think so.

Well, yeah, I mean, you would.

Guest

All right, what's that supposed

Guest

to mean?

Guest

It's because you're nostalgic

for the solid days of the patriarchy.

They're undeniably great movies.

Guest

Men love The Godfather

Guest

because they feel emasculated

by modern society.

Guest

It's a fantasy about a time

Guest

when they could go out

Guest

and solve all their problems

Guest

with violence

and sleep with every woman...

Guest

And then come home to their wife

Scene 13

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who doesn't ask them any questions

and makes them pasta.

Hey, hey.

It's a normal male fantasy.

Guest

No, movies like that socialize men

into having that fantasy.

Guest

Movies like that exist because men

already do have that fantasy.

Staff

We're hard-wired.

Guest

Comes with the testosterone.

No. Gender is a construct.

It's created.

Guest

You spent all that money

Guest

on Stanford,

he comes back brainwashed.

Two days.

Airport, go, bye-bye.

Guest

No, no, I said no. And I never want

to go back there.

Guest

I said no. When I say "no",

it means "no".

Good morning.

Guest

How can I help you?

Hi.

Guest

Are there any psychics

Guest

in this town?

Guest

Psychics? Sorry,

I don't understand.

Scene 14

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Like, you know, old-school,

Gypsy, like, psychic...

Guest

Fortune teller type of person?

Oh, you mean...

We have a tarocchi. Oh, yes.

Guest

A tarot card reader

here in Taormina. Yes.

Guest

Do you think they could make

Guest

a house call?

Guest

Because, like, I... You know,

it really is...

It's kind of an emergency.

Staff

Mm. Is everything all right?

Guest

I'm gonna be in my room.

Rocco.

Guest

Find the fortune teller's number

for the crazy lady.

Guest

This is my boss,

so I have to... get it.

I'll be back.

Staff

Hi?

Guest

Hi. Where are you?

I'm at lunch.

Guest

Well, you need to come back

to the room 'cause Greg is gone.

Guest

Gone? What do you mean,

Guest

he's gone?

I need you.

Scene 15

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Okay.

Guest

Well, I'm not

at the hotel currently, so...

I told you to stay close by.

Guest

Come back here!

Guest

My boss needs me to go back,

so I have to go back to the hotel.

Staff

Sorry.

Guest

Okay.

Staff

No. We'll take you back.

Guest

No, it's, uh, fine.

Guest

I'll just get a taxi

or figure it out...

Guest

Well, the driver can take her,

and come back and get us.

Staff

Yeah.

Guest

Yeah. Take the car.

And let's meet up later.

Okay. That's very kind of you.

Thank you.

Guest

And thanks again

for an entertaining day.

Yeah. Okay, have fun.

Staff

I can Venmo you for just the...

Guest

No!

Staff

Come on.

Guest

Sorry, again. Bye.

Bye.

Scene 16

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Staff

Great. Thanks, Dad.

Guest

What? Her boss needed her.

Guest

You think she just wanted

Guest

to get away from us?

Guest

Maybe. You do have a knack

for repelling women.

Staff

Do we embarrass you, Albie?

Guest

No, it's just...

Guest

I don't think you realize

how you sound sometimes.

They used to respect the old.

Guest

Now we're just reminders

Guest

of an offensive past

everybody wants to forget.

Hi! Thank you so much.

Guest

Yeah, you have

Guest

an amazing terrace,

Guest

where you can have a glass of wine

from our familiar vineyards.

Guest

And here is our dining room,

Guest

where you'll have your breakfast,

and obviously please feel at home.

And, uh, feel comfortable.

Guest

And anything you need,

we are here for you.

Staff

Thank you so much, Peppe.

Guest

Ciao, Daphne.

Guest

Ciao!

Scene 17

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Oh my God!

Guest

Are you gonna tell me

Guest

what's going on?

Guest

So I was reading about Noto

Guest

in Architectural Digest, right?

Guest

And there were pictures

of this palazzo.

Guest

So I was like,

Guest

"maybe we can get a tour."

Guest

So I called them, and they told me,

Guest

"You can rent the whole place out

for the night." So I did.

Staff

We're staying the night?

Guest

Don't you think we should?

Guest

I was gonna wait and see

Guest

if it was worth it,

Guest

but now that we're here it's like

Guest

we kinda have to, right?

Staff

I don't have any stuff.

Guest

Don't worry about it.

I packed extra everything.

Toothpaste... Whatever you need.

God, this is just beyond.

I can't believe it.

Guest

Come out here!

I think that's a pool.

Guest

And guess who brought

Guest

an extra bathing suit?

Scene 18

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Don't you feel a little weird

Guest

being here without the guys?

No. They didn't want to come.

Guest

And don't you think it's better

Guest

to just do what you want,

Guest

even if it's by yourself?

Guest

Cameron does what he wants

all the time.

Guest

Why let them have all the fun?

Let's check up the bedrooms.

Staff

Cheers!

Guest

Cheers, buddy.

I gotta say it, man.

I'm so proud of you.

Guest

I mean, you... you fucking

knocked it out of the park, man.

Staff

You did it.

Guest

Thank you.

Guest

I'm not surprised. I always knew

you were gonna do something great.

Staff

Took a little while, but...

Guest

Come on. You're 36. Give me a break.

Guest

Well, you've been raking it

in for years now.

Guest

Just wish you'd given me

Guest

a heads-up, you know?

Guest

What?

Guest

I have to hear from Gary Pizzinat

Scene 19

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that you sold your company

Guest

for a shitload? And by then, it was

too late for me to do anything with it.

Oh, you mean, like...

Dude, I couldn't say anything.

Staff

You could have hinted.

Guest

It's also illegal.

A little birdie in the ear.

That's it. Information, dude.

Come on, guys like me, that's...

that's all we got.

Staff

I'm sorry. I wasn't...

Guest

It's okay.

Staff

You know, I just...

Guest

Don't worry about it. Next time.

Guest

But you need to invest some

Guest

of that with us. Okay?

Guest

I don't know if you've heard,

but I make people money, bro.

I know you do.

Guest

Well, then let me do what I do

for you.I would love that, E.

Guest

I would love to help you

and Harper. Please, let me.

Look, just come in to the office.

Guest

All right? When we get back,

Guest

you meet the guys, and then you just

hang out. That's it. No pressure.

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Staff

All right. Sounds good.

Guest

Sounds good?

Staff

Yeah.

Guest

I am so stoked for you, E.

Guest

I'm so happy!

Thanks, Cam. Thank you.

I appreciate it.

Cheers, baby.

Hey, buddy, two more.

Oh, she's the real deal.

Guest

A real, authentic,

old-world gypsy.

That's what I asked for.

Guest

I don't think you're supposed

to use that word.

What? All right.

She's... a real old-school...

Gypsy.

Guest

Ma'am? Yes, would you like

Guest

some water or some soda?

Guest

I could make you and I

a highball. All right.

Guest

Guys in Italy wear their pants

so tight.

Guest

Yeah, 'cause they want

to show off their dicks.

Guest

Why didn't you just tell me we were

Guest

really gonna spend the night?

Scene 21

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I really want Cam to think

Guest

that we just had so much fun

that we just wanted to stay.

Guest

He has really intense FOMO

and also abandonment issues.

Guest

So it's just gonna be really funny

Guest

to tell him we're living it up

at some sick palazzo.

Guest

So you're like playing games

Guest

with him?

We both do it.

It's like hide and seek.

Keeps things interesting.

Guest

Yeah, well Ethan and I,

we don't really do that.

Guest

So, I'm probably gonna have

Guest

to call him

Guest

and tell him

we're gonna stay here.

Staff

Can I call Cam first, please?

Guest

Okay. Sure.

Okay.

Staff

Hey, babe! How's Noto?

Guest

Amazing.

Guest

I think that we're probably

gonna spend the night.

Staff

What?

Guest

Yeah.

Scene 22

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This incredible palazzo I found,

so I booked it.

Staff

Wha...

Guest

But we'll be back tomorrow.

Staff

You're coming back tomorrow?

Guest

Yeah, but have fun, okay?

Guest

What?

Guest

I think I have to go 'cause Harper's

waiting for me in the pool.

Staff

Honey, what pool?

Guest

The pool in our palazzo.

You would die. I'll send you pics.

Love you, honey.

Guest

Bye!

They're staying the night in Noto.

She booked a palazzo.

Staff

She did?

Guest

Yeah.

Staff

That's kind of weird.

Guest

She always pulls this shit, man.

Fucking punishing me.

Guest

But you know what that means?

Guest

You and me, we're gonna

fucking party! Let's go jet skiing.

All right. Okay. I'm coming.

Guest

Okay. Well... now what?

Guest

You ask a question and then

the cards will answer.

Scene 23

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Okay.

Guest

I wanna know, my husband,

you know, Greg...

Something is just...

Guest

Could you just leave the room

Guest

for a second?

Guest

Hang out in the bathroom

for a little while.

No problem. Yeah.

Yeah. I want, um... Is...

Guest

I want to know if we're gonna

make it.

Guest

I mean, I just want to know

if our marriage is gonna last.

Guest

The cards say your husband

is in love with someone else.

This card means deceit.

He is being deceitful.

Guest

And this card is beauty. There's

someone beautiful in his life.

Staff

Couldn't that be me?

Guest

Not you.

Staff

Not me?

Guest

For sure, not you.

The Beauty, The Beauty, The Fool.

Guest

This is The Unconscious,

The Unconscious.

This is The Beauty.

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This is The Devil, this is...

Yeah. This is very negative.

Guest

The Stars. The Unconscious

and The Subconscious.

I can't believe I paid for this.

'Cause this is just really...

Guest

Madness will lead you

to commit suicide.

Staff

You are so negative!

Guest

The truth. This is the truth.

It's not supposed to be like this.

You're supposed to...

This is supposed to build me up.

Guest

Take your crappy things

Guest

and your horrible cards

Guest

and your shitty little ashtray!

I've pulled The Beheaded Man.

Guest

These cards are mine!

Guest

No, I didn't want this. This

is creepy. No, it's... You gotta go.

I've pulled The Fool.

It's dangerous.

Guest

Get out!

Yeah, well, whatever...

You're a con artist is what you are.

That wasn't good.

Negative.

Guest

Okay, guys, we'll meet up

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around 7:30 downstairs?

Yeah, that sounds good.

Guest

But somebody give me a wake up

call. I'm gonna take a nap.

Okay. I'll come grab you, Nono.

Staff

Hey, Albie.

Guest

Yeah?

Hey...

Guest

I feel like you have this wrong,

distorted impression of me.

I have always supported women.

I have always promoted women.

Guest

I'm a feminist. I mean, I didn't

marry some subservient wife.

Guest

Your mother is a brilliant,

amazing woman.

Staff

Did you talk to her?

Guest

We didn't talk about you, Dad.

Guest

No, I don't want to get you

in the middle.

Guest

You don't have to say anything

to her. But if you did say something...

Guest

I'm hoping you'd tell her that I'm

Guest

really, really missing her and Cara

and that I feel... I feel really awful...

She listens to you.

Staff

Nothing is gonna fix this.

Guest

No?

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You have to change, Dad.

Guest

You have to stop doing what

you're doing and actually change.

I know that. And I have changed.

And I am changing.

I can change.

Staff

Oh, yeah?

Guest

Yes.

Guest

I can be the man she wants me

to be... again.

Staff

I'll see you at dinner.

Guest

See you.

Guest

Did she leave?

Guest

Tanya? What happened?

I thought I was...

Guest

I thought I was gonna

get a reading.

No. You don't want her.

She was very negative.

Staff

I'm sorry to hear that.

Guest

I think I'm gonna take a nap.

Okay.

Bye.

No, you can't go. You can't go.

You just...

Please just sit on the couch.

I did get the new Vanity Fair.

You can read it.

Scene 27

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Staff

Hey! Marry me!

Guest

No, thank you!

Guest

There's a machine. I'm gonna get

cash out, I'll be right back.

Guest

Come on, there's a couple

more stores I wanna hit.

Lots of horny dudes in Noto.

Guest

What are these?

Guest

The man, this table,

bought these for you.

That's sweet.

I'm gonna have an edible.

Guest

Do you want an edible?

Try having two kids under four.

They help me relax. Have one.

Okay, I just have be careful.

Guest

The last time I did edibles,

Guest

I took way too many

Guest

and I ended up on the floor

in the fetal position.

Guest

I kept saying, "I am a woman."

Guest

What?

Staff

Why?

Guest

I don't know.

Guest

I think I was just tripping out

on being a woman.

Guest

Don't you like being a woman?

I'm fine with it... usually.

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I do. I'd hate to be a man,

honestly. It'd just be so lonely.

I mean, they're so competitive.

Guest

It's like, can they even be friends

Guest

with each other?

Guest

Cameron and I went on a safari,

Guest

and, on safari, you see

Guest

all these pods of elephants

Guest

and they're all, like, bathing in the

Guest

river and playing with each other

Guest

and it's so sweet. But it's just

the moms and the babies.

Guest

Because when the boy elephants

Guest

get too big,

they kick them out of the pod.

Guest

And then the bull elephant has

Guest

to, like, wander through the jungle

by himself for the rest of his life.

Guest

I feel sorry for men. They think they're

Guest

out there doing something important,

Guest

but really

they're just wandering alone.

Thank you.

Staff

Hello.

Guest

Hello.

Staff

Good evening.

Guest

Good evening.

Guest

Listen, I just wanted to tell you

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I don't think I can meet up tonight.

Guest

Why?

Guest

I'm afraid my son's gonna catch

Guest

on but, really,

Guest

I need to change. I really have

to change.

Guest

So, I don't think I'm going to be able

to meet up at all this week. I'm sorry.

Guest

I'm sorry too because I thought

we were spending the week together.

I know. But I... I can't.

And I'm really sorry.

Guest

My son's on his way down

Guest

so I gotta go. But listen,

I really, really loved meeting you.

Guest

You're a wonderful, beautiful

woman, and it was really fun.

And this is for the ladies, please.

Thank you.

Thank you too. Thank you.

Guest

My two favorite people

Guest

in the world!

Thought we'd lost you.

Guest

I had to handle something

with the concierge.

Staff

You hungry?

Guest

I'm starving.

Staff

He cancelled.

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Guest

Why?

I don't know.

It's ok.

Lots of rich men here.

We'll find someone else.

Staff

Still here?

Guest

Yes.

Staff

Why don't you go home?

Guest

I still have things to do.

Okay.

I think you work too hard.

But...

I admire you.

Thank you.

I love how you handle everyone.

Especially the men.

You don't take any shit.

I want to be like you.

Well... Thank you, Isabella.

You're a good worker too.

Guest

You and Rocco talk too much,

but...

Staff

You're good.

Guest

Thank you.

Staff

You're welcome.

Guest

Have a good night.

Good night.

Guest

Mia!

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Staff

You're ignoring me.

Guest

I'm working.

Guest

I need to find a date

Guest

for tonight, now!

Staff

I'm going to get us drinks.

Guest

We already have drinks.

You can never have enough.

Good evening.

Guest

Now that you're a big shot, people must

be slipping in your DMs left and right.

Guest

No. What good would it do me

if they were? I'm married.

Staff

Dude, everyone cheats, E.

Guest

No, they don't.

Staff

Come on!

Guest

They do?

Yeah! Of course they fucking do.

Guest

It's a crime of opportunity. Jesus!

If they can.

Guest

So, how's your sex life?

Staff

Um...

Guest

Sounds great.

Guest

I don't know. It's hard, I guess,

Guest

when you know everything

Guest

about each other and you've seen

each other on the toilet and...

Guest

There you go. See?

We've only got one life.

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Staff

But Harper and I are...

Guest

Codependent?

No. I don't lie to my wife.

Really? Oh, man.

Fuck, I didn't know that.

Guest

That is so sweet!

Guest

You already met a guy here?

Kinda. Yeah, I did, he's...

Guest

really smart and everything

and went to Stanford.

You know, one of those guys.

Guest

He's really nice. Like... maybe

Guest

a little too nice, you know?

Guest

I wish he just, like, got my heart

rate up a little bit more or something.

Portia...

Guest

Don't spend your life chasing

emotionally unavailable men.

Guest

Or you'll spend your whole life just

banging your head against a wall.

Guest

Is there something wrong

Guest

with the front of me?

These guys are staring.

Guest

I think they're just smiling

at you.

Guest

But you've been brainwashed

into thinking that, man.

It's very bourgeois.

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Dude, monogamy was

Guest

an idea created by the elite

to control the middle class.

Guest

Meanwhile, all the priests

Guest

were fucking the altar boys

Guest

and the aristocrats were fucking

everything that moved.

Same now as it ever was.

Guest

And the most ambitious guys?

They're always the horniest.

Like you and me, baby.

Guest

And of course, women

are attracted to that.

Guest

But then... if you don't make

Guest

their dreams come true,

they make you suffer.

Guest

That's why it's safer

to stick with whores.

Staff

Excuse me.

Guest

No, come on!

Guest

Well, you have tremendous

talent too.

No.

Staff

You have a beautiful voice.

Guest

You really think so?

Yes, yes.

I could help you.

I know people that could help you.

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I could introduce you around.

Staff

For real?

Guest

Yes.

That's what friends are for.

Guest

Friends?

Guest

Fuck buddies?

Guest

It's hard to be just friends

with a beautiful woman like you.

Staff

Ok, I'll think about it.

Guest

Think about it.

Dirty old pervert.

Guest

Mia, Mia!

I might've found someone.

Staff

What are you doing?

Guest

It's okay.

Guest

Mia! Let's go!

Guest

Buonasera!

Those were the two girls...

Staff

Ciao! Ragazze!

Guest

Hi! Buonasera. Ciao.

Guest

How are you?

You know, the girls.

How are you guys.

Guest

How you guys doing?

Staff

Um, fine.

Guest

Yeah?

Guest

I'm Cameron,

this is my buddy Ethan.

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Staff

Hi, hello.

Guest

Hi, Cameron.

Staff

I am Lucia.

Guest

Lucia.

Yes, and she is Mia.

Mia.

Guest

Hi, Mia. Are you guys from here?

Guest

Are you on vacation, what?

Staff

We're from Sicily.

Guest

From Sicily?

Guest

Just two gals hanging out

Guest

in a hotel bar, huh?

Staff

You guys having fun?

Guest

Yeah.

Staff

You guys, uh, you guys party?

Guest

Yes, yes!

Staff

You got any, uh, party favors?

Guest

I have pills.

Staff

I have Viagra.

Guest

We don't need Viagra.

Staff

No? Also, maybe Molly.

Guest

Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?

Guest

Are you an angel sent

Guest

from heaven?

Guest

No, but these are expensive,

guys. You will have to pay for it.

I got money, baby.

That's one thing I do got.

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Let's fun!

Guest

Let's fun!

This is the only snack I could find.

Guest

Want some?

Guest

You're still high or what?

Hi.

Guest

So, has Ethan changed at all?

No.

No, not at all.

Staff

He's exactly the same.

Guest

That's good!

Guest

'Cause I've seen a lot of guys

who are, like...

Guest

Well, not nerds. I mean, Ethan's

not a nerd, but...

Staff

Yes, he is. He is!

Guest

I just mean...

Guest

I just mean, like, they were never

Guest

players. And then they make

Guest

all this money and they just

Guest

start acting different

and, like, cheating.

Guest

No. No, Ethan would

never do that. He's not like that.

He's... he's honest to a fault.

Guest

God, I'm so glad that Cameron

has a friend like Ethan.

Guest

Honestly, the guys that Cameron

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works with... a very dark triad.

Like, for real. Psychopaths.

I'm not kidding.

But not Cameron.

Guest

No. Cameron's, like, naughty,

like a little boy is naughty.

Guest

These other guys? I mean, they're

like Bernie Madoff monsters.

Guest

They will fuck you up. And they're

the most successful guys in finance.

Oh, Jesus! Oh, shit, this is cold.

I got sensitive nips.

Staff

Hey.

Guest

Hey.

Staff

Beer?

Guest

Oh, thank you.

Staff

How was your day?

Guest

Uh, pretty grim... actually.

Guest

I feel like if I murdered my boss,

I could argue it was euthanasia.

Guest

Yeah, uh, what about you?

Guest

How's your night?

Better now.

Sorry. Um, was I...

No, uh... No, no, that was...

it's fine.

Guest

I just wasn't expecting it,

Guest

you know?

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Staff

Well, expect it.

Guest

Okay.

Guest

Is everything okay?

Yeah! Yeah, everything's...

I'm just...

It's been a long day.

And I'm kinda fried, I think.

Yeah.

Guest

Do you wanna go back

to my room or...

Guest

Yeah, no. I think I just need

Guest

to crash. If that's okay?

Yeah, yeah. I think me too.

Staff

Sorry.

Guest

No, it's fine. You...

We could hang out tomorrow.

Guest

Are you around tomorrow?

Yes, absolutely.

I would love that.

Guest

Do you want me to walk you back

Guest

to your room?

Staff

Sure.

Guest

Great, okay.

Staff

Oh, don't forget your beer.

Guest

Oh, thanks. Sorry.

Staff

You got your stuff?

Guest

Yeah.

Staff

Thanks for the beer.

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Guest

Yeah. No problem.

I hope I didn't make you feel weird.

No. No, no.

Don't apologize. Honestly.

Guest

Daphne?

Guest

Do you think Cameron ever cheats

Guest

on you?

Maybe just once.

That I know about.

Don't feel bad for me.

I figured out how to handle it.

Like today. I do what I want.

So, I'm not resentful.

Guest

Yeah. How do you handle it?

I...

I'm not a victim.

That's all I meant.

Guest

Hey!

Guest

What are you doing in there, babe?

Guest

Hello!

Guest

Here's the party! Come on,

Guest

sweet little baby boy!

Come on, go see him.

Guest

He's a little shy,

Guest

what's he shy for?

Take care of him.

Guest

Take care of her! Grazie!

Guest

No?

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Okay.

Hey, this is Ethan.

I can't take your call.

Leave a message.