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S01E03

Mysterious Monkeys

Full screenplay script transcript for The White Lotus S01E03: Mysterious Monkeys

47 Scenes1225 Lines
Scene 1

Int. White Lotus Resort - Day

28 lines
Last night, I wanted a drink
so fucking bad.
You are five years sober.
Guest
What if I just can't
Guest
fucking do this anymore?
Guest
How are ya? Having fun?
Guest
You have the most
Guest
beautiful skin I've ever seen!
We gotta go.
Girls! You left your...
You guys made a mistake.
Just own up to your mistake.
It's all I'm asking.
I wrote a profile about you.
Guest
"Ten Power Women
Guest
in the Tech World."
Staff
That was a hatchet job.
Guest
What?
Guest
Some lady found this
on the beach and gave it to me.
Staff
What? No tag?
Guest
No.
Guest
Have you ever thought about
Guest
starting like your own business?
Come on.
Guest
I would be down for funding
something like that.
Guest
Who's the guy you were with
Scene 2

Int. White Lotus Resort - Day

28 lines
by the lobby? I saw you.
Guest
He's just some random
who tried to pick me up.
Guest
Your dad didn't die
Mark
from cancer. He died from AIDS.
Mark
AIDS?
Mark
Paula?
Hey.
Hey.
Mark
Where were you?
I just walked around.
Couldn't sleep. Probably the K.
Mark
Fuck. Fuck! Fuck!
Mark
Fuck!
Mark
Shit!
Mark
Your father,
Mark, he had sex with men.
He had two lives.
Mark
He had his family,
Mark
and then he had another life
with homosexuals.
Shit.
Mark
Fuck!
That was amazing.
Love you, Rach.
Love you, too.
I can't wait to fuck in Tahiti.
Hey! I love it when you call me.
Scene 3

Int. White Lotus Resort - Day

28 lines
I was just thinking about you.
Mark
About to head off
to class here in a minute.
Yeah, I just got to work myself.
You're never not at work.
Mark
You think I'm working hard now,
Mark
wait till I start
my own business.
Mark
What are you talking about?
Mark
I don't know. I think
I'm getting ahead of myself.
There is, um...
Mark
There's this woman,
Mark
this... this guest,
this rich white lady.
Mark
She... she took me out to dinner,
Mark
and she said
Mark
if I wanted to start
Mark
my own wellness center,
she'd fund the whole thing.
Mom, you have to do that.
Mark
That fucking place
exploits you, Mom.
Mark
If that lady says jump,
Mark
you say how high?
I'm serious. Work it.
Get your own thing going.
You deserve it.
Scene 4

Int. White Lotus Resort - Day

28 lines
All right. We'll see. We'll see.
Guest
Keep me posted.
Staff
I will. I will. I love you.
Guest
I'll talk to you later. Okay?
Staff
Okay.
All right. Bye.
Armond.
Staff
Armond!
Staff
You know
Staff
I thought you were dead, right?
Staff
No, just got here
a little early.
Had a cat nap. I'm fine.
Guest
You're fine?
Staff
I'm fine.
Staff
Mom, why are you setting up
Staff
in here and not your own room?
Staff
Because I have a Zoom
Staff
with China,
Staff
and I don't like the background
in there.
Guest
When's the big Zoom?
Staff
One.
I don't like it in here either.
Staff
This lighting
makes me look freakish.
Staff
You sure it's the lighting?
Staff
Quinn. Where have you been?
Scene 5

Int. White Lotus Resort - Day

19 lines
Guest
I slept on the beach.
Staff
Why?
Staff
Because of them!
Staff
Because they made me!
Guest
And now all my shit is gone.
Staff
What shit?
Staff
My phone, my Nintendo!
They got washed away.
My iPad got soaked.
It's fucking ruined.
Staff
And now what the fuck
Staff
am I supposed to do?
Staff
I didn't tell him
to sleep on the beach.
It was his idea, Nicole.
Staff
They're lying!
Staff
Dad, what's wrong with you?
Staff
Your father got some very
upsetting news last night.
Scene 6

Int. Mossbacher Suite - Day

28 lines
Mark
He does have cancer?
Guest
No.
Mark
He doesn't have cancer.
Mark
He found out something
Mark
about his father
that he never knew before.
I'm listening.
Your grandfather died of AIDS.
Mark
How did he get AIDS?
Mark
Apparently, Paula, he was
having sex with other men.
Guest
Who was?
Staff
Your dad's dad.
Staff
Why?
Staff
Because he liked it. Why else?
He was probably closeted.
Or bisexual.
Staff
Dad,
Staff
why are you so upset, though?
Guest
You're like catatonic.
Staff
Well, it was a secret
Staff
that was kept from him
his entire life, Liv.
Staff
So now, whatever image he had
Staff
of his father, of his childhood,
has been pulverized.
Staff
You know,
he was probably a bottom.
Scene 7

Int. Mossbacher Suite - Day

28 lines
That's how you mostly get it.
Receiving.
Staff
Dad,
Staff
do you feel like your father
Staff
was less of a man or something?
He might have not been gay.
Staff
A lot of straight guys
like ass-play.
Staff
Yeah, maybe he was just
Staff
too embarrassed to ask Grandma
Guest
to use a dildo on him.
Staff
Jesus!
Staff
Can we not, please?
Staff
Even if he wasn't a top,
it doesn't mean he was femme.
Staff
He could've
still been butch, Dad.
Maybe he was a bossy bottom.
Staff
Yeah, maybe Grandpa
was a power bottom.
Staff
Does that make you feel better?
No.
That makes me wanna throw up.
Dad, you don't wanna say that.
Staff
Well, he can say
whatever he wants.
Staff
You know, if he's having
Staff
a negative visceral reaction
Scene 8

Int. Mossbacher Suite - Day

28 lines
to his father having gay sex,
it's valid. It's fine.
Staff
Well, it comes off
as homophobic.
Well, it's not.
Staff
Well, that's how
it comes across.
Staff
Well, luckily,
Staff
he's in a safe space
Staff
and he's here with our family
Staff
so he can come off
however he wants.
Guest
Up to a point.
Staff
Or what? You'll cancel him?
Staff
Dox him?
Staff
Sic the K-Pop fans on him?
Staff
See what I have to deal with?
Mom, I need a new phone, stat.
I'm gonna go completely insane.
You already are insane.
I'll order it for you right now.
So...
Staff
you were pretty horned up
this morning.
Yeah.
Staff
Wake up next to you,
Staff
what do you expect?
Staff
Is it a problem?
Scene 9

Int. Mossbacher Suite - Day

28 lines
Aren't you horny for me?
Guest
Yeah.
Staff
Yeah.
Staff
Yeah. Just not like
every single minute.
Like you are.
Staff
It's just not the most
important thing to me.
Staff
Well, what is?
Staff
Well, is it the most important
Staff
thing to you?
It's up there.
Staff
So the... this entire marriage
Staff
is just based on sex for you?
No. No.
Hey, all right.
Look, there's other stuff, too.
I love you.
And we're a team.
We get along great.
Yeah.
My God.
Staff
You think that I'm like
this... sex pig.
Guest
Hey, look.
Staff
No.
Staff
Me?
I can be romantic.
Scene 10

Int. Mossbacher Suite - Day

16 lines
I'm actually emo.
And don't put me in a box.
Guest
Thank you.
Staff
Sure.
Hey, buddy. Hold on a second.
Staff
Hey, if you see Armond,
Staff
could you tell him I'd like
Staff
to talk to him about something?
Of course.
It's not about the room.
Hello.
Staff
How are you this morning?
Staff
I was hoping
that you could help me.
Staff
I have something really
important that I need to do.
Scene 11

Int. Hibiscus Suite - Day

28 lines
Tanya
I brought my mother's ashes
with me.
Tanya
You know, so I could
spread them in the ocean.
Tanya
And I just realized yesterday,
I'm gonna need a boat.
Tanya
We have our resort boat
you can charter.
Tanya
Is it free today?
Tanya
'Cause I really need
to put this behind me.
Tanya
Would you like to take it out
Tanya
at sunset?
Yeah, that would be nice.
Tanya
Well, let's say,
Tanya
departure at 5:00 from the dock?
Tanya
Can I get some alcohol
Tanya
on the boat?
Tanya
I just... I think I might
need a drink.
Of course.
Tanya
Some fruit and cheese, maybe?
Tanya
Could you just tell
the captain...
Tanya
that I think I'm gonna be
Tanya
a little emotional?
Tanya
I just want him
to be fully prepared.
Scene 12

Int. Hibiscus Suite - Day

16 lines
Could be, like,
a total basket case.
Well, see you at 5:00.
Tanya
But let's definitely order
the cheese.
Thank you.
Tanya
Christie,
Tanya
could you cover the desk?
Of course.
Guest
I just need to get something
from the office.
Sure. Not a problem.
Staff
What?
Guest
Sorry.
Guest
I just wanted to tell you
Guest
that Mr. Patton
Scene 13

Int. White Lotus Resort - Day

28 lines
Armond
from the Palm Suite
wants to talk to you.
Armond
Are you fucking kidding me?
Armond
What?
Armond
He thinks
Shane
we ruined his honeymoon?
Shane
Fuck him!
Shane
I will ruin his honeymoon.
Shane
Well, he's eating
by the pool, so...
I like your hair up like that.
Looks cute.
Um, thanks.
Shane
Can we have the phone sent here?
Guest
We're not here long enough.
Staff
It'll be there when we get home.
Staff
Then I'm gonna need
to use your computer, Mom.
Well, I do have work to do.
Staff
Like today,
I've got Zooms all afternoon.
Staff
What the fuck
Staff
am I supposed to do all day?
Enjoy Hawaii. Get in the ocean.
The o...
Staff
I did see a whale
last night on the beach.
That was pretty cool.
Scene 14

Int. White Lotus Resort - Day

28 lines
Well, you're not
sleeping out there again.
Mom, he likes it.
He's communing with nature.
Staff
It's funny how you're able
Staff
to have so much compassion
Staff
for all these groups
Staff
of oppressed peoples
Staff
you don't even know,
and yet not for your family.
Yep, okay.
Staff
Who actually know you
and love you.
Staff
Your generation's
only sacred value.
Guest
Biting the hand that feeds you.
Staff
Whatever.
Guest
Hey, Dad.
Staff
What?
You're not eating anything.
I'm not hungry.
That's your second Bloody Mary.
Guest
So?
Staff
We have scuba after this.
I'll be fine.
That's the guy.
Man.
Excuse me, dude.
Scene 15

Int. White Lotus Resort - Day

27 lines
Aloha, ladies.
Staff
How are you this morning?
Staff
Yesterday I told you
about a bag. It's my friend's.
Yeah. I left it on the beach.
It's olive green.
Staff
I checked with,
Staff
lost and found in the office,
Staff
and I'm so sorry to tell you,
it wasn't there.
But we'll keep an eye out.
Staff
And if it turns up, I will call
your room immediately.
I do hope we find it.
Aloha, Mr. Ross.
Staff
Lana will take you
to table nine. Thanks, Lana.
All right.
I've been lookin' for ya.
Guest
Mr. Patton.
Staff
Hey.
Guest
How are we this morning?
Staff
Yeah, no complaints.
Love to hear that.
Staff
Um, listen, I wanna do
Staff
something special for my wife,
something kinda romantic.
Scene 16

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
Shane
It's our honeymoon.
Shane
I'm thinking a candlelit dinner
totally off on our own.
Somewhere cool that's like...
Shane
a beach or a cliff
or just like...
Shane
like an Instagram spot,
Shane
you know?
Guest
Yes. Yes. How wonderful.
Staff
Yeah.
Staff
Um... And of course,
Staff
we do private dinners
Staff
for couples all the time,
Staff
but since
Staff
you're such valued guests,
Staff
and with the whole mix-up
Staff
regarding your room,
Staff
I would love to come up
with something really unique.
Okay, great. Yeah. That's...
That's what I'm thinking, too.
Staff
What about... a candlelit dinner
Staff
on our charter boat at sunset?
That sounds perfect.
Staff
You can watch the sunset
from a private cove.
Staff
Schools of dolphins leaping
Staff
and circling the boat
Scene 17

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
as you cruise the coastline,
Guest
sipping piña coladas...
Staff
Nice.
Staff
...debating the names
of your future offspring.
I... I don't know about that.
Guest
Well, that sound like a plan?
Staff
Yeah.
Staff
Well, see you down
at the dock at 5:00.
Guest
Okay, great.
Staff
Tonight then.
Yeah. Thanks.
One little thing.
Staff
There will be
one other guest on the boat.
Staff
Really?
Staff
Yeah. Very lovely woman,
Staff
traveling alone,
Staff
and because she paid
Staff
for the boat,
Staff
you'll only have to pay
for the dinner.
Guest
Yeah?
Staff
It's a sizable boat.
Staff
You won't even notice
she's there.
Staff
She'll be quiet
Scene 18

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
as a church mouse.
Yeah. All right.
Yeah, that sounds fine.
I just...
Staff
I just want it to have
a romantic vibe.
Absolutely.
Your wife is very lucky.
Guest
Thank you for all the help.
Staff
Of course.
Staff
Yes, we can do
Staff
the total relaxation package
for you, not a problem.
Staff
Actually, can I give you
Staff
a call right back?
Guest
Hey!
Staff
Hey.
Staff
Thank you again
for dinner last night.
Really, I had a great time.
Staff
And it was cool,
Staff
you know, getting
to know you more.
Staff
Yeah. You know,
Staff
tonight's the night
Guest
I put my mother into the sea.
Staff
Wow.
The boat leaves at 5:00.
Scene 19

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
I'd really appreciate
if you could be there.
I'm here until 7:00.
Geez. Well...
Staff
You know what?
I'll take care of it.
Staff
I'm... I'm sure one of the girls
will be able to cover for me.
This is important.
I wanna be there for you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Guest
Yeah.
Staff
And just so you know,
Staff
I'm probably gonna be
Staff
a little drunk,
Staff
so don't judge me, all right?
Guest
No. No, I'd never.
Staff
Okay.
Guest
Boat leaves at 5:00.
Staff
Five o'clock.
Guest
All right.
Staff
I'll see you.
All right.
Guest
Dad.
Staff
What?
Staff
If you don't feel
like doing this now, it's fine.
Nah.
Scene 20

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
It's just like...
What is real? Like, what...
Staff
You know? What's real?
Staff
Are you gay?
No.
Hey.
'Cause if you are, it's okay.
Guest
Just, like, be real.
Staff
I am being real.
What's real is...
Staff
like, gay, straight, whatever,
Staff
we're just monkeys,
we're just fucking monkeys.
Guest
Yeah?
Staff
Yeah. Yeah, we're just animals.
Staff
I mean, you know,
we wanna be, like...
Staff
superheroes and respectable fathers
Staff
and pillars in our communities,
Staff
whatever,
Staff
but... but in fact,
we're just monkeys...
Staff
living in our own
Staff
little monkey pods,
Staff
driven by base instincts
Staff
to create these hierarchies
and hump each other.
Staff
I thought I knew my father,
Scene 21

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
you know?
Staff
I only knew the part
that he wanted me to see.
Staff
He hid the monkey,
and that screwed me up, Quinn.
Guest
You think that's what did it?
Staff
Yeah, definitely.
Hey, I thought...
Staff
My whole life, I thought I was
the flawed child of an icon.
Staff
Like, I put him on this,
like, enormous pedestal.
Staff
Meanwhile, like, he's off
Staff
in some bathhouse on the DL,
getting manhandled by some...
...like, random dudes.
Wow.
I wish I had known.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Staff
But I get it. I mean, you know,
Staff
you don't want your kid thinking
you're some sex-crazed lunatic.
Staff
The room is... is beautiful,
Staff
and we have this ocean view,
Staff
and we face west, so we get
these incredible sunsets.
Yeah.
Scene 22

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
You'd love Hawaii.
Everything's so lush.
Staff
Where we are,
it isn't so overdeveloped.
Staff
And there's all of this
amazing food and pastries.
Hey.
Staff
So, yesterday you were reading
Staff
Freud and Nietzsche,
Staff
and today you're reading what?
Staff
So you finished
Freud and Nietzsche.
Staff
Are you actually reading
Staff
any of these books?
No, they're just props.
Staff
We have a stylist
Staff
choose our outfits
Staff
and then we have a book stylist
pick out our books.
Yeah. That's what I figured.
Yeah, it's really relaxing.
Staff
I really wanna bring you
and dad here.
Staff
Are you gonna get in the water?
Staff
Ye... well... you... you do!
Staff
I mean,
everyone takes vacations.
Staff
Okay, so sixty pages,
Scene 23

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
based on how fast you read,
Staff
that'll be like two minutes,
and then you can jump in.
Staff
Do you wanna know me?
May... maybe.
Staff
Do you?
I don't know.
Staff
Maybe it's better if I'm just
really real with you.
Staff
Maybe that's
the healthier legacy.
I think it is. Yeah.
Staff
You guys ready
Staff
to get your tanks on?
Staff
Yeah, let's do it!
Staff
Hey, if you won't come
Staff
to the pool,
the pool is gonna come to you.
Get in.
Staff
My God!
Staff
Get in the water, come on!
Guest
My God!
Staff
You got my book wet.
Tastes a little like pee.
Guest
I think it's your own.
Staff
It's your own.
Staff
I think I forgot
that I peed, yeah.
Scene 24

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
Guest
Okay. Thank you.
Staff
Sit wherever you like,
I'll be right over.
Guest
Thanks.
Staff
Yeah.
Get me the Kahuna with guac.
Staff
All right?
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.
Staff
Enjoying your time?
Guest
Hi.
Staff
Yeah. Hi. Yes.
Yeah. Very much.
Shane
Honeymoon, yeah?
And after this, we go to Tahiti.
Thank you. That'll be nice.
Shane
Yeah. Where was your honeymoon?
Shane
Believe it or not,
we went to China.
Guest
Cool.
Staff
Nicole, my wife,
Staff
she took Mandarin in college,
so she wanted to show off.
It was... it was cool.
We went all around.
Staff
It was a lot different
back then.
Guest
Yeah. China.
Scene 25

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
Staff
Sure.
Guest
Yeah.
Staff
How long ago was that?
Staff
Twenty-two years
we've been married.
Twenty-two? That's impressive.
I guess.
Staff
I mean, I've got friends
Staff
that, you know,
Staff
have been married, divorced,
married, divorced, so...
We're still going.
So you never know.
Staff
So, what's your guys' secret?
Staff
How do you keep the spark alive?
The spark.
No, it's not alive. It died.
Staff
Yeah. I mean, love may be alive,
but spark...
Sure. That happens.
Yeah.
And his handstands.
Staff
He was totally trying
to flash us.
Staff
Yeah, but with what?
Thumb dick.
Staff
What the fuck?
Good. Hi, girls.
Scene 26

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
Can you just help me
Staff
move this bed in?
Staff
I just... I just need
to do it real quick.
Mom, there's meds for this.
No, it's just for my Zoom.
Staff
I finally found
Staff
a good background,
Guest
but I can see the bed.
Staff
So what?
Staff
Well, so I don't want
Staff
my entire organization
Staff
and my Chinese affiliates
Staff
knowing that
Staff
I'm on fucking vacation!
Staff
Olivia, can you just help me
Staff
with the bed, please?
Guest
I have five minutes.
Staff
Okay, fine!
Thank you.
Staff
Okay. All right, girls, ready?
One, two, three.
Guest
Just lift it!
Staff
Push.
Staff
Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Guest
Are you okay, Paula?
Staff
No.
Staff
All right,
Scene 27

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
I'm gonna start my Zoom.
Staff
And you guys,
Staff
if you're gonna stay in here,
you have to be totally silent.
Okay? And stay out of the frame.
Mom, you look deranged.
It's all right.
I have a filter for that.
Fuck.
Staff
I chased Nicole for three years,
Staff
and she wouldn't let me
touch her.
Staff
And then when I finally could,
I couldn't get enough, man.
I was...
I had to have it all the time.
She thought I was nuts.
Staff
She thought that
I should see a doctor.
She thought I had...
priapism.
Which is like when... Hey, bud.
Staff
When you get this
Staff
perpetual hard-on,
Staff
like an erection
that you... will not go down.
Guest
Yeah.
Staff
But after a few years,
Scene 28

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
it doesn't matter how much
Staff
role playing you do
Staff
or, like, toys you buy
Staff
or porn you watch together,
Staff
whatever,
sex just turns into, like, a...
Staff
You know like when they do
Staff
one of those food challenges
Staff
on a reality show, you know,
Staff
where they gotta, like,
Staff
eat like a bowl of live worms,
Staff
and you just got... you gotta
psych yourself up for it.
You're like, "I can do this.
Staff
Just hold my nose
Staff
and, like, suck it down as fast
Staff
as I can so I don't gag."
Guest
Yeah.
Staff
But it's natural.
Staff
I mean, it'd be weird
if it didn't fade, you know.
Staff
Look, I'm just
being real with you, you know.
This is my son, Quinn.
And I'm Mark.
Guest
Right. Hi.
Staff
What are you talking about?
Nothing. Sex with your mom.
Scene 29

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

17 lines
You know, I actually...
Staff
I think I'm gonna order
Staff
from the room
just 'cause it's...
It's so hot here.
I'm feeling hot.
Staff
Well, it was nice
to talk with you.
Staff
And I hope
Shane
that you have a great honeymoon.
Thank you.
And you guys have a great trip.
Okay? Bye. Thanks.
Shane
Was it something I said?
Shane
Shit!
Shane
Olivia, get down!
Hey, everybody.
Scene 30

Int. White Lotus Resort - Day

28 lines
Armond
Nicole Mossbacher.
Good to see you all.
Armond
Hey!
You left me.
I'm surprised that you noticed.
Armond
What? Shut up!
Armond
You were so busy flirting
with those girls.
Armond
I was not flirting
with those girls.
I was giving them shit.
Armond
Well, it certainly seemed like
you were having a good time.
Armond
Aw. Is my baby jealous?
No.
Guest
Whatever.
Staff
Yeah.
Staff
Well, I came to find you
Staff
to tell you
Staff
to wear something
extra cute tonight.
Staff
What do you mean? Why?
Staff
I got a little something
planned.
Guest
Tell me.
Staff
No.
Guest
Tell me.
Staff
No.
Scene 31

Int. White Lotus Resort - Day

28 lines
Guest
Tell me.
Staff
It's a surprise.
Guest
Tell me.
Staff
But I will tell you,
it is very, very, very romantic.
Staff
It's natural
to want something new.
Staff
I mean,
Staff
when you're jerking to porn,
Staff
do you watch the same clip
Staff
every time?
No. Never.
Guest
I think I'm gonna go.
Staff
Yeah? Okay.
Staff
Um, can I borrow your phone?
Staff
Mine's gone,
and I need to get online.
All right.
See you back in the room.
Staff
Who are these people?
Guest
They're joining for dinner.
Staff
I hope that's okay.
All right.
Staff
Watch your step!
Guest
Aloha!
Staff
Hi. Aloha.
Guest
Thank you.
Staff
Wow!
Scene 32

Int. White Lotus Resort - Day

12 lines
Is this all for us?
Guest
Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much.
Staff
Yeah?
I'll hold that for you.
Thank you so much. I love this.
Hey, everybody.
Guest
Hey!
Staff
Hey.
Thank you for coming.
Staff
I know I don't know you,
but I'm glad you're here.
Staff
Well, these are
Scene 33

Int. Hibiscus Suite - Day

28 lines
Tanya
my mother's ashes.
Tanya
And I just wanna say that,
Tanya
you know,
Tanya
I don't want tonight
to be a downer.
Tanya
You know, my mother would've
wanted us to have a good time.
Tanya
So let's have fun, okay?
I think I need to set this down.
Guest
This is nice.
Staff
Yeah.
Guest
Get a little tan.
Staff
It's getting warmer.
Guest
Hi.
Staff
Hi.
Quick question. What's...
Staff
What's going on here?
Just, just refilled your drink.
Right. No, I know what this is.
Staff
Um, what's going on
Staff
with this lady?
Guest
What's...
Staff
Um...
Staff
She's planning on scattering
Tanya
her mother's ashes off the boat.
Tanya
Okay. Does she think
Tanya
we're here for that?
'Cause we're not.
Scene 34

Int. Hibiscus Suite - Day

21 lines
Shane...
Tanya
Do you want me to speak to her?
Guest
No, no, no.
Staff
Well...
It's fine. No. It's... it's fine.
Everything's okay.
Guest
Thank you so much.
Staff
Of course. Mahalo.
Guest
Mahalo.
Staff
Mahalo.
Staff
We can't... we can't tell her
not to bother us.
Staff
Like, well, I'm trying to have
a romantic time with my wife.
Staff
Hey!
Guest
Hi.
Staff
Hi.
Staff
You guys wanna sit up here?
Yeah. No, that's okay.
Thank you.
It might be more convivial.
Scene 35

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
Shane
We're on our honeymoon.
Thank you, though.
My gosh.
How nice to be in love.
Yeah.
I wish I had a man here.
I mean, you know, I...
I'm really happy you're here.
Guest
You know what I mean.
Staff
I totally get it.
Staff
Woo-hoo!
All right.
You're a beautiful couple.
Guest
Leprosy is no joke.
Staff
It's not.
Staff
You know about leprosy, right?
Guest
Right, totally.
Staff
That's a weird nerve disease
where they have... they like...
They can't even feel like...
You could get hit by a bus...
Guest
Hey! What're you doing?
Staff
Hey, baby, where've you been?
Guest
...and not even know it.
Staff
Let's go.
Staff
You wanna
Staff
get out of here?
Yeah. Totally.
Scene 36

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

28 lines
See ya.
Bye.
Guest
Whiskey, neat.
Staff
Yeah, you got it, boss.
Staff
Drinking on the job?
Done for the day.
Staff
Where's your family?
Shit. I should get back to them.
Um...
No, they've seen enough of me.
Guest
Thirsty?
Staff
Long day.
Yeah. Me, too.
I can be romantic.
Guest
See, right?
Staff
Yeah.
Guest
I mean...
Staff
Totally. Thank you.
Staff
You didn't have
to do this, though.
I wanted to.
Staff
But is it because of our
Staff
conversation this morning?
Staff
I guess I just get
insecure, like...
Staff
if our whole thing is based on
Staff
your sexual attraction to me,
Staff
then what happens
Scene 37

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

17 lines
when that attraction fades?
Rachel
Baba.
It is not going to fade.
Guest
No?
Staff
No.
Staff
Really?
Hi. I think it's time.
Staff
So you guys are gonna have to
Staff
get up, okay?
Yes.
Staff
Will you mo... move their table?
Tanya
Of course, Ms. MacQuoid.
Hold on! Can I just...
Guest
We can just...
Staff
That's fine, move it this way.
Okay.
Guest
Watch where you're going.
Scene 38

Int. Resort Lobby - Day

28 lines
Tanya
Sorry, Ms. MacQuoid.
Guest
Yeah. I just...
Staff
Got it?
Yeah, I got it.
All right. There we go.
Guest
Okay, thank you.
Staff
Yeah.
All right.
My poor mother...
she died in June.
And she loved the ocean.
Just loved it.
Staff
My poor mother, she had
a beautiful house in Carmel.
Staff
And she tried very, very hard
Staff
to be a really good mother,
Staff
even though she didn't have any
maternal instincts or skills.
Staff
She, she was always
in search of male affection.
And, she was...
a nymphomaniac.
Staff
I'd walk in her room
Staff
and I'd find
Staff
all sorts of strange men
in her bed.
Staff
She had
borderline personality disorder.
Scene 39

Int. Resort Lobby - Day

28 lines
She took her money
Staff
and she manipulated
people with it.
And she was cruel.
And she was very, very cruel.
She was so, so cruel and...
Staff
I... I just... mother,
mother, mother, mother.
My mother...
Staff
told me I would never
Staff
be a ballerina,
and that was when I was skinny.
My poor mother, she...
Staff
She just couldn't handle
her jealousy.
She had to take me down.
Staff
And what's weird is
Staff
I miss my mother
Staff
even though she was a big jerk!
I just...
I need your help, everybody.
Staff
I... I've been trying
Staff
for many days now
to open this box.
My poor mother's in here.
I need someone to help me.
Guest
Do you want me to open the box?
Staff
Yeah, I would love that.
Scene 40

Int. Resort Lobby - Day

28 lines
I'll get it.
Um...
Yeah. Just...
My God, thank you.
Yeah, no big deal. Yeah.
Mother.
Goodbye, Mother.
Staff
Goodbye, Mother!
Staff
Goodbye, Mother!
I can't... I can't do this.
Staff
You know, this is... I just
realized it's too early for me.
It's okay.
All right.
Staff
I want my mother,
mother, mother.
Guest
Hey let's, yeah... maybe...
Staff
I can't.
Guest
Why don't we...
yeah, back in the box.
I wanted my...
Staff
My God.
Guest
It's okay.
Staff
My God.
Guest
It's totally okay.
Guest
No, it's not okay!
Guest
I don't understand what happened
to your father.
Scene 41

Int. Resort Lobby - Day

28 lines
I mean,
I've been texting him all day.
I have his phone.
Guest
Well, you could've told me that
earlier, Quinn.
Guest
You know, this is all
Guest
because of you,
Guest
because you won't share
a giant room with your brother.
Mom, it works out perfect.
Guest
He can have the entire beach
to himself to jerk off.
I don't jerk...
Finish your sentence.
Whatever.
You're addicted to porn.
Staff
No, I'm not.
Guest
Yes, you are.
Don't sex shame him.
Guest
Boys are sex shamed
all the time now.
Guest
I mean, I know it's very in,
but it's not okay.
Guest
What?
You sex shame Dad.
I do not.
Guest
Okay. Whatever gets you
through the night.
Scene 42

Int. Resort Lobby - Day

28 lines
You... you're gay, right?
Staff
Yes, I'm gay.
Guest
No, my father was gay.
Staff
Yes, I'm gay.
Guest
No, my father was gay.
I think.
He, he had sex with men.
That's a telltale sign.
Guest
Hey, can I ask you a question?
Guest
What's it like, like, you know,
Guest
being fucked up the ass?
Like, is that...
Guest
I mean, it must feel kinda good,
Guest
otherwise you wouldn't
Guest
keep doing it, right?
Guest
Does... does it feel good?
Guest
Do you wanna find out?
No, I'll take a rain check.
Hutch.
Guest
When you're young,
Guest
sex is powerful
and intoxicating.
Guest
And as we mature,
it gets demystified.
Guest
You realize there are more
important things to focus on.
Guest
Like what? Zooming with China?
Guest
Like holding onto
Scene 43

Int. Resort Lobby - Day

28 lines
whatever shreds of dignity
you still have.
That's so perverted.
Staff
Can I take these?
Guest
Yes, thank you.
Guest
If you had the phone,
Guest
did you see me texting all day?
Guest
And you didn't respond, Quinn?
Guest
He did not tell us that
Guest
she chartered that boat
Guest
for a goddamn funeral!
Staff
It's okay.
Guest
No, it's not okay!
He did it on purpose.
Staff
He's fucking gaslighting me.
Guest
You have to let it go.
Staff
I'm not gonna let it go.
Guest
Just let it go.
Guest
What I wanna do
is go find that fucker.
Shane.
Okay, one second, let me just...
Staff
What?
Guest
There you go.
Staff
On the count of three.
Guest
Okay.
One, two, three. There you go.
Staff
Good.
Scene 44

Int. Resort Lobby - Day

28 lines
Guest
You're a beautiful woman.
Thank you, Tanya.
Is it... Okay! You got it.
Guest
Let's just get the bottom half
to join you.
There you go. Okay. All right.
My head.
Staff
My head.
Guest
Let's...
Yeah.
That's...
There you go.
Staff
All right.
Guest
Yeah.
Staff
Okay.
Guest
Thank you.
Guest
Good night to her,
and good night to you.
Everything's gonna be okay.
You got it.
Guest
Yes?
Hi.
Guest
How was the cruise?
Staff
Not good.
Guest
Great.
Actually, it was a shit show.
Staff
They're fucking pissed.
Guest
Perfect.
Scene 45

Int. Resort Lobby - Day

28 lines
Do you want a drink?
I, I have tequila.
I have...
...other things.
No, no, I'm good.
I like this new hair look.
Yeah. Yeah.
You said that already.
Turns out you're my type.
Blonde surfer with a man bun.
Okay.
You're a great worker, Dillon.
Um, well, thank you.
I have my eyes on you.
Okay.
Well, I will talk to you later.
All right. I'll see you...
Guest
I was texting you all day,
Guest
and then Quinn told me
he had your phone.
You're taking this really hard.
Guest
Why would he be gaslighting you?
This has happened before.
Guest
Like, people have been
Guest
coming for me
my whole life.
Guest
I'm just playing the hand
I was dealt.
Scene 46

Int. Resort Lobby - Day

22 lines
Like, yeah. It's a great hand.
And that's not my fault.
Shane. Don't worry about it.
I loved our dinner.
Guest
I thought
it was really romantic...
...until it wasn't.
Yeah.
Don't. I'm not in the mood.
I'm just kidding.
I'm always in the mood.
Staff
Yeah?
Guest
Yeah.
Staff
Come on.
Guest
Okay.
Get off me, monkey.
Get off me. I mean it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Ooh.
Guest
Surprise!
Guest
Mom!
Guest
Am I interrupting?
Scene 47

Ext. Airport Terminal - Day

22 lines
Shane
It's only your honeymoon!
Guest
What are you doing here?!
Guest
It's like
we're the underdogs now.
Guest
He's a white man, and nobody
has any sympathy for them.
Guest
I think he's gonna be okay,
Nicole.
Thank you, Paula.
This is the spa.
I got asked out.
Guest
He's a deep-sea fisherman
from Black Lives Matter.
Here's another treat. Enjoy.
Guest
Dad, I think that guy
was hitting on you.
Guest
He was just, you know,
being friendly.
Guest
Bubba, tell my mom
what you were thinking about.
I really want to get a job.
Guest
No, why would you do that?